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Fucking On The First Date

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by Clean Cut and Hung, May 14, 2019.

  1. Clean Cut and Hung

    Clean Cut and Hung Loved Member

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    Last Friday I went to a party. It was a last minute thing and it turned out to be a fun gathering. At the party I met this guy. Kinda of hard to describe but I'm sure you've seen someone like him before. Somewhat clean cut. Nice looking but not a head turner. He was wearing jeans and a t shirt. I could tell he had a decent body just the way his clothes fit. He wore glasses. Of course he works in finance. But he wasn't geeky or nerdy. We talked for a long time. He was a super nice guy. Great smile and his eyes kinda lit up when he smiled. Sunday night he sent me a text and asked me if I'd like to get dinner on Monday (last night). He got my number from a mutual friend. I was interested so said yes.

    I met him at the restaurant. Dinner flew by. There was no shortage of conversation. We were at the table for a little over two hours. The more the evening progressed the more I was attracted to him -- and I wasn't drinking. LOL After dinner I offered him a ride home (he had taken an Uber). We got to his place and he asked me to come in to get a book he just finished reading and that we had talked about over dinner. I have a rule that if I'm into a guy I don't have sex with him on the first date even if it's just jacking off together. So I went in just to get the book and maybe a kiss on the way out.

    We walked into his house. It was nice -- neat and tidy just like how I imagined. He didn't offer me offer me anything so I figured this was really just to get the book. I stood in the living room while he went to the bedroom. He came back out, handed it to me and told me not to worry about returning it, that he likes passing books on after he's read them. I thanked him for the book and told him I had a really nice evening and was glad he asked me out. He said the same. I told him I'd like to see him again if he'd be up for it. (The other guy's response at this point is usually very telling -- but that's another thread, lol.) He smiled, his eyes lit up and he said he'd really like that. It seemed genuine. There was a bit of awkward silence as we smiled at each other. I then told him it was getting late and that I didn't want to keep him up. I asked him if a kiss good night would be appropriate. He said, "Absolutely."

    We leaned toward each other and kissed, lips to lips. It was one of those kisses where you know immediately you're really into the guy. We stepped closer, put our arms around each other, onto each other's lower back and kissed again. Just our lips, no tongue. We pulled back and he said, "That was really nice." I responded, 'I agree." Our crotches were pressed up against each other and I could feel his cock getting hard and knew he could feel mine. We kissed again. It was crazy good, our lips passionately communicating. We then introduced our tongues. It was perfect; he knew exactly what to do with his tongue, not like a serpent trying to find a mate in my mouth. At his point I could feel precum oozing out of my cock. We pulled back. He told me the kissing was better than he expected and said he had been thinking about kissing me while we were having dinner. I admitted the same.

    I told him it was a nice evening and that it was a "school night" and I should get going. He acknowledged the same and walked me to the door. As he opened the door I thanked him again for the book. He smiled and said, "Sure." He told me to drive safely and leaned in to kiss me. That was the trigger. We pulled each other in tightly, closed the front door, the book dropped to the floor, hands went everywhere, feeling each other's ass and crotch. We led me to his bedroom. We immediately started undressing each other while kissing. I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and went into his boxers. I felt his thick hard cock and big smooth balls. He felt my cock and balls, his roaming hands driving me crazy. We then completely undressed. I knew he had a nice body but was surprised by how fit he was. And his hardon pointing up toward the sky was hot! He told me how good I looked naked and I returned the compliment. We got on the bed and it turned into full blown sex. Lots of making out, lots of oral -- nipples, cock, balls and ass. We 69'd for a long time, sucking each other's cock, eating each other's ass, sucking on each other's balls, fingering each other while sucking each other's cock. We then fucked each other, several positions, ending with me fucking him on his back, him cumming, then me pulling out and cumming on his chest and stomach. I collapsed on him and we kissed while our cum mingled between us. He told me he had a really intense orgasm. I told him I felt really connected to him during sex. We kissed again.

    We then went into the bathroom and cleaned up. He asked me if I'd like to spend the night since it was so late. I looked over at the clock on the bathroom counter and was surprised to see how long we had been having sex! I told him I'd like to spend the night and that I liked being with him. He smiled. We got into bed, snuggled and fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night. My hand roamed his body. I placed my hand on his soft cock and he rolled over to me. I felt his cock until he was rock hard. He told me how good it felt. I told him I wanted him to fuck me. He rolled on top of me and we kissed. He then went down and sucked my dick. He placed his hands behind my knees, lifted up spreading my legs and ass and dove in, rimming my hole. He then stuffed his thick cock in my ass and we passionately fucked. It was the best middle-of-the-night fucks I've had. After cumming we went back to sleep.

    This morning we showered together, sucking each other off and swallowing each other's load. He shot a big load in my mouth and his cum tasted amazing. We ran out the door with coffee in insulated tumblers and a banana. I'm in the office, typing this while on calls, wearing the clothes I wore last night. I'm tired from little sleep. I also have mixed feelings -- feeling good about the connection but sensing I may have messed up by going so far on the first date.

    I sent him a text telling him I had a nice evening. Just a few short sentences. I received a one word reply, "same" -- no punctuation, no emojis. It kind of fell flat for me. And now I'm analyzing everything. And feeling stupid. Duh, I've been here before. The sex was awesome. But did I ruin it by having sex with him? I really wanted to see him again. Did he have sex with me because he didn't want to see me again? I've never had sex on the first date with a guy I ended up dating. Ugh.

    I know. Keep positive. Don't over analyze. It's too soon. If it's meant to be it will happen. If not, he was a nice guy and the sex was really good.

    Ugh... again.
     
  2. 1141702

    1141702 Guest

    I think if it was just one time sex, he wouldn’t have had you stay the night. I’m optimistic to a detriment though. Perhaps he was too busy with work and such to message you back properly.

    You both sound into each other and that’s great :)
     
  3. 1178303

    1178303 Guest

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  4. MarcoJock

    MarcoJock Legendary Member

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    A lot of us have been in your spot. I know it’s tough but don’t analyze yourself crazy. He could just be busy at work. Since he sent a really short reply I’d leave the ball in his court for the next couple of days. If you don’t hear anything by Friday text him back and ask him out.

    And... savor the moment. You met a really nice guy, he was nice looking, you had a nice dinner and had great sex and a sleepover. Plus you sucked a load out of each other’s cock this morning. Seriously, slow deep breaths and enjoy the day after moment. :)
     
  5. 1222288

    1222288 Guest

    There is your problem. Also, talk to him. Getting caught up in emoji's and punctuation is just silly, and a toxic trend that has caught on in the last couple of years with social media.

    Go meet him again. You'll be able to figure out what is going on a lot better by having a real conversation, rather than dissecting a single word.
     
  6. theplayerking

    theplayerking Cherished Member

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    Did you bareback? Is he on PrEP? Did you discuss it? In my experience, the only thing that really kills a potential relationship after sex on a first date is barebacking if the other guy doesn’t do it much. He starts to feel guilty, nervous, etc., and runs away.

    Otherwise I’m pretty philosophical about first date sex. If a guy’s not into me for the long term, he’s not into me. There’s nothing I can do about and don’t think the sex really affects the equation on way or the other (apart from barebacking, mentioned above). At least it’s a hot memory.

    Good luck. Hope he calls.
     
  7. tito21

    Gold Member Platinum Gold

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    Not to ruin the mood, so you ate each other’s ass right after a dinner date without jumping in shower first?

    Also, fucking in middle of the night after dinner without douching? And went right back to sleep without shower or cleaning up the mess? Slept in cum soaked sheets?

    I find it hard to believe because us tidy and clean guys don’t roll that way. My underwear smells fresh as a daisy even after a long day of work in the sun, even then, i wouldn’t let a guy suck me off or eat my ass without a quick shower first. And i’m a clean cut kinda guy.
     
  8. 1222288

    1222288 Guest

    I think there was a lot of "story" to his account, which is why I just cut to his question rather than delving into the rest of it. And, that is fine, if you take it from that perspective.

    I assume they showered before dinner. Maybe they douched beforehand as well? Dinner in itself doesn't mean their colons and anuses suddenly become fouled. I don't shower after sex either, unless it's during the day. For me, sex ---> sleep, if it's nighttime.

    That said, I won't rim a guy, or let myself be rimmed, unless I know we are both sparkly fresh. Other than that, for myself, as long as we are reasonably clean I don't fuss with a sanitization regiment.
     
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  9. Sklar

    Sklar Legendary Member

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    Too much over analyzing and not enough balls to call.

    Texting is a HORRIBLE way to have conversations because of what exactly happened to you.

    Just pick up your phone and call him. Listen to his voice. Listen to yours.

    Ask him out again.

    Have sex.

    Enjoy the moment.

    Sklar
     
  10. headbang8

    Gold Member

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    Do we gay guys actually go on dates? In my experience, we have sex, sometimes preceded by food.

    Forgive the stereotyping, but maybe the whole sex on the first date trope is a bit heteronormative? Why should romance come first, and sex second?

    I've found that sex is a better way to discover if you have relationship potential than a string of movies and dinners before you get down to brass tacks.

    Controversial thought: Rather than waiting for a few dates til you fuck, give it a half-dozen fucks til you take the relationship out of the bedroom or backroom.

    You both clearly wanted it, and you did it. No need to make it into a relationship yet. And if he or you think the sexual connection, however pleasurable, couldn't sustain passion, better that one or other of you nip it in the bud before heartache follows. Maybe he simply wants a friend with benefits; his actions over the next several days will tell you so.

    Think of it this way: you didn't have sex on the first date, you had food on the first fuck. Consider it a bonus. And don't start picking out curtain material just yet!
     
  11. MisterB

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I agree with this. I've yet to buy a car I've not test driven.

    Same with a relationship. I've not pursued any relationship with a particular gentleman without having established that we indeed did have sexual chemistry. That's what works. For ME.

    To the OP: Give it time. If the date/sex was as good as you describe for BOTH of you, then he'll respond back. Meanwhile, you need to keep living your life.

    And remember that he also has a life; he may be very busy right now. Or simply confused by his feelings from your date. And needs some time to process it. And maybe some space.

    Regardless, you'll know soon enough. Good luck!
     
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  12. Clean Cut and Hung

    Clean Cut and Hung Loved Member

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    Thanks for all the input. Sometimes when you meet that guy who appears to be that one in a million guy and you just want it to continue it’s hard to stop the mind from spinning and give yourself the advice you’d give others in a similar situation.

    I heard nothing from him after the “same” text. If I don’t hear back from him by Friday I’ll reach out (phone call) and see if he’s interested in going out again.

    @theplayerking we did not bareback. We had a brief timeout in the heat of the moment to discuss. I’m on PrEP, he’s not. We both used condoms.

    @tito21 Yes, we ate each other’s ass and fucked each other after dinner. I showered before meeting him for dinner and earlier in the evening he mentioned that he showered after working out after work. When I said we cleaned up in the bathroom after round one, I didn’t mention *all* the details. Some aspects of gay sex are best left in the bathroom. We used a play towel and we put it and the sheets in the washing machine before leaving. [None of this seemed unusual to me.]
     
  13. MarcoJock

    MarcoJock Legendary Member

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    Sounds like a good plan.

    How are you doing? Any word from him? Sticking to the plan?
     
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  14. 1141702

    1141702 Guest

    AGREE - sexual compatibility is a BIG DEAL. I wonder why divorce rates are so high...
     
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  15. MisterB

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Yup. I jumped my man's bones regularly for 37 years before I agreed to marry him in 2015. I had to be sure...LOL.

    We still do our thing. Maybe not as often. And it may take a little longer to get the engines to full speed.

    But here we are. 41 years later. And my man is still sexy as fuck. He still makes my dick hard.
     
  16. 1141702

    1141702 Guest

    Had to be sure :joy:
     
  17. malakos

    malakos Superior Member

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    Way more than half of married couples have sex before marriage these days, so this is clearly not the reason.
     
  18. 1141702

    1141702 Guest

    Maybe.
     
  19. bkmuscledad

    bkmuscledad Superior Member

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    It's Saturday. Any contact yet? Fingers crossed for such a great chemistry to continue.
     
  20. Clean Cut and Hung

    Clean Cut and Hung Loved Member

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    I called him yesterday afternoon and left a voice mail. I haven’t heard back. I’m in mental write-off stage, categorizing it as a nice evening and great sex and nothing more. :(
     
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