I am a traditionalist when it comes to funerals. For my own, I want to have an early evening viewing followed by a funeral service. The next morning, I want to have a private graveside service for close family and friends only. At the funeral service, I don't want a lot of preaching. At that point, I can't be preached into heaven. The way I lived my life preached the sermon for me, so just some prayers and some Scripture readings that would provide some comfort to the mourners is all that's needed. Now as to music...well, it's gonna be a shoutin' good time. I want there to be lots and lots of music, all of it upbeat. I know that if I am to die at anytime in the near future, the whole music department from my church will turn out and when over 300 choir members get to praisin', it's going to be a Homegoing Celebration.
For my grandmother's funeral back in April, I took charge of everything being that I'm also a mortician. She wanted to be cremated after having a viewing and church service. Living in south Florida, she did not own a lot of black, nor would she want to be buried in all black. I dressed her in a very dressy print blouse that was red, black, gold, with a black skirt. She looked like she would be going to a nice dinner party. The service was supposed to be upbeat, but because of the god-awful musicians, it was way too somber for my tastes. A letter to the church's pastor and the Archbishop of Miami got some people jumping and we got all the honorariums paid to the church refunded and I got a personal apology letter from the Archbishop.
We are now looking at a funeral for my grandfather in the fairly near future. We're preparing ourselves early, because he's starting to decline very quickly and has some major surgery in the past few months that knocked him for a loop. When we have his funeral, I think I am going to dress him to go out in a sort of business casual type of outfit. Slacks, dress shirt and sport coat, no tie--he spends most of his time in shorts, why dress him in clothes that he felt are too stifling. I will have a conference with the Pastor of the church before his funeral and I will have one of my friends do the music, so we don't have to deal with the horrendous cacophony that my mother and I laughed through at my grandmother's funeral.
We requested no flowers for my grandmother because there was not going to be a burial. We purchased some stunning urn arrangements to go on pillars at the ends of the casket and a matching casket spray made of all her favorite tropical flowers, including Bird of Paradise, which was her overall favorite flower. We requested memorials to be sent to a charity because the money spent on flowers could go to something for perpetuity.
My grandmother always said that she wanted to enjoy the flowers while she lived, because she wouldn't see them at her funeral. I made it a point to always send her flowers throughout the year.
For my funeral, please send all the flowers you want, and on my casket, I want a floral explosion done in all white with tropical greens draping down over the cherrywood.
PS. And if anyone sends one of those wreaths with a ribbon that says "Jesus Called" and has a telephone in it...I will come back and haunt you!
