Funniest/worst chat up lines

[D_Doewell Dadong]

There is another topic knocking about saying what is the best way to approach a woman for sex - now not wanting to hijack the thread, i wondered what the best or worst chat up lines that you have used, heard being used or have been used on you. Did they work?

I'll start of with ; here is 10p phone your mum and tell her your not coming home (doesn't really work with mobiles being so widespread now, and phone boxes having a minimum 30p charge lol)

 

[StrictlyAvg]

Lick your finger, touch her clothes and say "let me get you out of those wet things"

 

[Enid]

Worst:

Him: Ever go to the gyno
Me: Sure for checkups
Him: What does he do to you when you go
Me: She
Me: All the usual stuff
Him: what else
Me: That's it
Me: What else would there be?
Him: Do you get fingered
Me: No of course not. I mean not by the GYNO


This exchange, which progressively got weirder than a David Lynch film, earned this dude the nickname of Creepy Gyno Guy.

 

[D_Doewell Dadong]

Funny one i heard because its so bad is "are you from jamaica? Coz ja makin me crazy"
And care of anchor man "do you want to come to the party in my pants"

Gyno guy sounds like ,,,.er,,,,,,fun

 

[Enid]

From Anchorman I like: "I have bits of real panther, so you know I'm good."

 

[D_Doewell Dadong]

Him. Is your father a thief?

Her. No, why

Him. Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes

 

[DiscoBoy]

"There's a party in your mouth and we're all cummin'!" --> I heard a guy say that to a girl once. He looked like a douche and he had his douche posse all behind him smiling and laughing.

"Is that a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them."

Him:"Did it hurt?"
Her:"What?"
Him:"When you fell from heaven! :wink:"

 

[D_Doewell Dadong]

Are those ladders in your tights or the stairway to heaven.

 

[D_Doewell Dadong]

Anymore?

 

[DiscoBoy]

"You must be a ticket because you got FINE written all over you!"

"Nice bum, where you from?"

"I'm glad I brought my library card because I'd like to check you out!"

 

[D_Doewell Dadong]

Nice bum, where are you from i can imagine working quite well

 

[nudeyorker]

My two favorite are "As long as I have a face you have a place to sit" And "Can I push your stool in?"

 

[Wtff]

Him. Is your father a thief?

Her. No, why

Him. Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes

Him. Is your father a thief?

Her. No, why

Him. Because the car you just parked there, its mine.

 

[D_Doewell Dadong]

You'd get a laugh with the first one. And if she gets it, a slap with the second.

 

[mitchymo]

the best and worse chat ups i've had were 'if you were a cold i'd be happy to catch you!' and 'sex, your place, call me!' (hands over no.)

 

[D_Doewell Dadong]

Any others folks

 

[B_Grind]

when approaching a black woman

"hey niggress, your lips sure are big and comicaL"

dont try that one!