I was on a flight and in the last row of seats. Two of the flight attendants were gay men and the third was a very frumpy older woman. The two guys hit on me and I returned the favor. Finally, after buttering me up with two coffee-n-bailey's drinks, one of them said, "I wonder if we could all three of us fit in the bathroom. 'Coz I'd love to blow you." Unfortunately, we never got to try; the Ms. Frumpy was not happy with our fraternizing and found things for them to do.
Funny Airport Stories
- Thread starter D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits
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koval
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A few years back I returned home with my sister having visited relatives in America. At this small regional airport in the US they did not have any X-ray machines at that time to check luggage so they had to search bags discretely behind a black curtain (nothing wrong with that). However my sister had decided to purchase some lingerie from the Victoria Secrets range a few days beforehand and we could see the Security guards physically check each bag thoroughly through a gap at the side. When they got to my sisters bag one of the guards picked up the unmentionable piece of clothing and holding it up to his colleague with both hands winked at him with a smile (sister going very red by this time in the face).
So without missing a beat I quipped up and said " Even though the colour matches your eyes, I doubt it would fit you!" Instantly he turned around and saw me looking at him through the gap. If the ground could open up at that moment I'm sure he wished it would for him. He went redder than my sister, his colleague collapsed with laughter and instantly he threw it back in the bag and closed it immediately. When we left to board the plane I just winked at him and said "naughty boy". I'm sure his co-workers gave him a good ribbing over it. As for my sister, well she never bought any Victoria's anymore.
So without missing a beat I quipped up and said " Even though the colour matches your eyes, I doubt it would fit you!" Instantly he turned around and saw me looking at him through the gap. If the ground could open up at that moment I'm sure he wished it would for him. He went redder than my sister, his colleague collapsed with laughter and instantly he threw it back in the bag and closed it immediately. When we left to board the plane I just winked at him and said "naughty boy". I'm sure his co-workers gave him a good ribbing over it. As for my sister, well she never bought any Victoria's anymore.
One flight I flew home with some BeBe kids (the kind that don't die they multiply). The parents seem to not care what they were doing. Anyway as it was time to leave the plane one of those little monkeys jumped on my back and pulled my hair to climb up.
Now me not usually obliged to using curse words looked at the parents and said "move your ass before I knock your damn monkey off my back."
Now me not usually obliged to using curse words looked at the parents and said "move your ass before I knock your damn monkey off my back."
The worst for me was on a trip from London to Los Angeles, they did not know if the planes landing gear had locked into place once it came down, so we circled for a bit. The nice part is the Pilot kept the passengers informed of his decisions and his plan. The gear was locked after all, just the indicator light was off.
The second and funny one, from Canada to Vegas, I had put my belt on reversed, and it was mostly made of metal. It kept setting off the detectors, so I was asked to remove it. I did not know it was backwards until that very moment, when it would not unlatch, I had to get my BF to help me. The officer and us got a good laugh... Now I never wear that belt or bring that belt when I travel by air.
The second and funny one, from Canada to Vegas, I had put my belt on reversed, and it was mostly made of metal. It kept setting off the detectors, so I was asked to remove it. I did not know it was backwards until that very moment, when it would not unlatch, I had to get my BF to help me. The officer and us got a good laugh... Now I never wear that belt or bring that belt when I travel by air.
passenger have always been able to bring on service animals, like seeing eye dogs, etc......now, passengers can bring on comfort animals....and can have the comfort animals on their laps...it can be a dog, cat, pig or monkey.....i am not kidding!!!! the animals cant be offensive to others, etc, etc.........anyway, we always joke that if a passenger has a monkey as a comfort animal, if its acting up, we are going to spank the monkey! another time in first class, the meal included a baked potato....the flight attendant up there was having a tough day....so this passenger complains that his potato is bad....so the flight attendant picks up his potato and starts spanking it....saying "bad potato, bad!" im gonna write a book
I did not realize one could take a "comfort animal". I wonder if I can bring my pet snake Boudreaux on board? LOL
D_Jurgen Klitgaard
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if you get a doctors note, you can take pretty much any animal on, as long as the note says you need that animal to provide you with comfort!! we had a flight a few months ago, and the agents let some lady bring on a great dane, as a comfort animal....the dog fit under the seat, but while taxing out, the dog got scared, and started cllimbing all over the seats,, so it was a return to the gate, and the dog and the lady got offf!! there was also a comfort animal on a flight to the west coast, it was a small pot belly pig....the pig started running rampent thru the cabing, needless to say, another return to the gate, the pig was removed!!!
There were two instrastate airlines in California before all the consolidations and buyouts. PSA and Air Cal had an intense rivalry which led to some fun moments on flights I took..
Taxiing to the gate at LAX, the PSA cabin attendant announced "If you have enjoyed your flight, thank you for flying PSA. If you didn't, thank you for flying Air-Cal! :nana:
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Another time, an Air-Cal flight had landed and taxied to up to the terminal gate. The cabin attendant went into the usual "thank you for flying Air-Cal. We welcome you to... ahhh." With that, she looked out the window to see where she was. As she finished the announcement with "...San Jose", everyone in the cabin broke into applause. :wave2:
Those were the days when flying was fun.
Taxiing to the gate at LAX, the PSA cabin attendant announced "If you have enjoyed your flight, thank you for flying PSA. If you didn't, thank you for flying Air-Cal! :nana:
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Another time, an Air-Cal flight had landed and taxied to up to the terminal gate. The cabin attendant went into the usual "thank you for flying Air-Cal. We welcome you to... ahhh." With that, she looked out the window to see where she was. As she finished the announcement with "...San Jose", everyone in the cabin broke into applause. :wave2:
Those were the days when flying was fun.
This only happens to me. I was sitting on the aisle seat. The flight attendant was handing out drinks. Somehow when she got to the person sitting next to me, the drink spilled and the ice cubes went down my shirt. The guy sitting right next to me smiled and asked me, "Miss do you need some help finding the ice cube?" Needless to say he kept watching me as I was digging cubes out of my cleavage.
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