Funny Quotes during sex

[redvsblue35959]

Last night i stayed with a friend and his roommate and the roommate's bf, we all start messing around in the dark, then someone starts grinding on me and all of the sudden I hear "If thats not your arm I swear to God I'm not Bottoming". Needless to say it was kind strange. Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else?

 

[sbeBen]

Yes! All the lights went off in my house once. It was a power cut! Damn pain ain't they?

 

[Captain Elephant]

I used to have a listen of things you don't want to hear during sex. The only one I remember is "Gee, the ceiling sure needs painting."

 

[sbeBen]

Last night i stayed with a friend and his roommate and the roommate's bf, we all start messing around in the dark, then someone starts grinding on me and all of the sudden I hear "If thats not your arm I swear to God I'm not Bottoming". Needless to say it was kind strange. Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else?

So what happened next? I'm curious to know how things would go on from there! Did you all have sex?

 

[Dorian_Gray]

Hun, what color do you think we should paint the livingroom?

 

[hawkgirl]

I usually get good sex talk. Something like...'Give me all of your p#@@*!', or 'You taste so good'.
Anywho... I did have a bf who once asked me to call his name which was quite sexy at the time to me except for the fact that he came out 2 secs later. lol
I was with the guy long before I realized that I could only really get off through cervical stimulation along with a unit that was thick and long enough to never come out .
When he asked me again after he placed his unit back inside of me, it just didn't seem right. A bit awkward if you could imagine.

 

[avantgarde]

LOL i with an acquaintance, and this was teh second time we were having sex. I was working every part of her the right way apparently and she's just screaming moaning talking dirty...

so she's like "Oh fuck me, f*ck me...OH YOU CAN GET THIS PUSSY ANYTIME YOU WANT IT"

I liked to start laughing right there LOL!!! Too funny to me.

 

[redvsblue35959]

yea we did all have an orgy right there one of the best nights ever

 

[~quicksilver~]

I once had a disastrous gaydar date with a really, really posh guy. But it was late and I was tired and he had a great cock so I decided "WTF, I might as well..." So I was giving him head and he said (has to be in a really posh, Noel Coward way) "eeee-oooo yes... that's it... sluuurrrppy, sluuurrrpppy"

 

[B_Hung Jon]

It was the first time I had sex with this girl, & as we tore off each others clothes & were making out, she grabbed my dick & at the same time said, "Stick your manhood in me". It sounded so weird to me, I started laughing & couldn't stop. Wrecked our time together.

 

[hawkgirl]

It was the first time I had sex with this girl, & as we tore off each others clothes & were making out, she grabbed my dick & at the same time said, "Stick your manhood in me". It sounded so weird to me, I started laughing & couldn't stop. Wrecked our time together.

I think that if a guy had ever tld me that he was about to stick his manhood into me I'd have called the BFF right in front of him laughing while telling her what he said.

BTW, great pics Hung Jon. :wink:

and she's just screaming moaning talking dirty...
so she's like "Oh fuck me, f*ck me...OH YOU CAN GET THIS PUSSY ANYTIME YOU WANT IT"

I liked to start laughing right there LOL!!! Too funny to me.

I've told a guy to 'FUCK ME!' before and told him, 'You can have this pussy however you want it. This is your pussy.'
But no one ever laughed at me. :biggrin1:
Wonder if it was better to her than it was to you? Or maybe it was just the way she said it because I've always gotten a good response.:tongue:

 

[huw ginnit]

Quite a few years ago, I hooked up with a guy, who I think in hindsight saw himself as quite the SM afficianado, and in the middle of the "act" which was vanilla in the extreme, he blurts out;


"Feel the pleasure; feel the pain!"

I felt silly and made my excuses and left sharpish!

 

[gcbenji0]

i've had guys tell me to hurry up and finish

 

[B_All4show]

How about: "Are you done yet?"

I had a friend in college that dated a older lady (problably 35 y.o.). He was doing her from behind and she turned around and said "kick it up a notch." So he pulled out and put it in her ass. You'd have to know the guy, he wasn't very expeienced and I am sure it came as a shock to him. That story still makes me laugh.

 

[Beef Stroganoff]

I once had a guy ask me to pee in him while I was working his ass and I got this really perplexed look on my face. He said, "Don't worry, I just got my Hepatitis shot." That sorta killed the mood.