I am sorry about the lighting in the last two pics.
The "I ate Jalapenos." T-Shirt has a cartoon stick man with cartoon burning flame shooting out its ass. You can barely see it. Sorry.
The "Ransom Note" T-Shirt I got at a Value City Clothing Outlet in Hampton, Virginia. It is a note taped with packaging tape, it says...
"I have just kidnapped myself...give me $1,000,000 dollars or you'll never see me again." (Again, I apologize for the lighting situation.)