Funny/weird Situations

Italian1986

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
Mar 6, 2009
Posts
2,463
Media
19
Likes
12,770
Points
543
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male
Hello!
I don’t know if this is the right place or if there is already a discussion about this.
My question is: do you have any funny or weird situation to share? About sex, of course. Something that happened while fucking in general etc...
 
  • Like
Reactions: nicnic

giantguy23

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Feb 3, 2018
Posts
2,011
Media
6
Likes
8,716
Points
433
Location
Greece
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Oh god i have a hilarious one :p i still remember it and laugh. I was ready to bang a girl in a park at night and someone apear out of nowwhere and started jogging and strecthing... He couldnt see us cause we were in dark but he stop in front of us and doing exercises the most funny shit ever :p
 

ohiorod

Mythical Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Jun 12, 2014
Posts
5,582
Media
0
Likes
25,573
Points
483
Location
West Virginia (United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Okay, I have never told this story before and the best place to tell it is in semi anonymity!

I was 19 and didn’t have a place to take someone home due to a roommate, but I met this good looking guy ( or at least I had drank enough that he looked good!). So we went to this are in s semi rural area and pulled up by this abandoned building. We were going at it heavy and we had the windows down in the car, my ass was up in the air while this guy was lying in the back seat of my car and literally, my ass was just inches away from hanging out the window while I was blowing or rimming this guy, I forget which. Suddenly, I felt something strange nudging my ass from outside the car. I turned around a looked and it was a donkey checking out my ass! I jumped and within a few minutes we were lying there laughing hysterically at this odd event. I never went back to that “makeout spot”!
 

Italian1986

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
Mar 6, 2009
Posts
2,463
Media
19
Likes
12,770
Points
543
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male
Okay, I have never told this story before and the best place to tell it is in semi anonymity!

I was 19 and didn’t have a place to take someone home due to a roommate, but I met this good looking guy ( or at least I had drank enough that he looked good!). So we went to this are in s semi rural area and pulled up by this abandoned building. We were going at it heavy and we had the windows down in the car, my ass was up in the air while this guy was lying in the back seat of my car and literally, my ass was just inches away from hanging out the window while I was blowing or rimming this guy, I forget which. Suddenly, I felt something strange nudging my ass from outside the car. I turned around a looked and it was a donkey checking out my ass! I jumped and within a few minutes we were lying there laughing hysterically at this odd event. I never went back to that “makeout spot”!
LOL!!! This is quite a story!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: ohiorod

marriedasian

Legendary Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Posts
1,578
Media
1
Likes
2,021
Points
343
Location
Wisconsin (United States)
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
alright, i've got one... this is a bit silly and borderline belonging to the fictitious part of this forum but i solemnly swear that i will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under pains and penalties of perjury...

this was in my mid-to-late twenties. i had met up with this really hot cougar online and we both hit it off sexually. after some chatting and phone chats, we decided to meet up. on the second date we ended up at her place and things got naked. she had a killer bod for her age but had some hangups about herself so we ended up fucking in the dark in her bedroom. she was older so she wasn't able to get as wet as fast so she said grab the lube. i applied it all over my cock, put both her legs up on my chest/shoulders and started to push myself in. once i was in, i started fucking her like there was no tomorrow and the lube helped immensely...

here's the funny part...

after about 10 minutes of fucking her in the same position, i spread her legs and reached down to rub her clit... to my surprise, i found her clit and her vaginal opening... WTF?! all this time i was fucking her in the ass. i had pointed my cock too low and ended up in her ass... i immediately stopped and asked her if she was okay. turns out she was totally into anal and figured that was why i applied so much lube as to get ready to penetrate her ass... LOLs! it was an awkward moment but also a moment of relief to find out she was cool with it. honestly, i thought i was in her pussy but i was in her ass... it sure felt great though. we continued to have anal sex until she came then i had some pussy (made sure i was in the right hole) and dumped a load in her.

afterwards we talked about what had happened and she was really cool with sharing stories about her sexual preferences in regard to anal sex and such. i felt embarrassed as to not being able to tell the difference. i was very inexperienced when it came to anal sex so i couldn't tell the difference. truth be told, her ass was a bit tighter than her pussy but not by much; she felt great to me overall (either hole that is, lols).

she did teach me a lot about anal sex and double penetration. we never did have a MMF but it was me, her, and dildos. we eventually grew apart as her life and mines went separate ways. to this day, i'm pretty sure she just got bored of me and moved on... oh wells, i will never know...

well, that's all folks, believe it or not, i still smile and chuckle about this whenever it crosses my mind. i've shared this story with my wife and she has blatantly told me that if i'm in the wrong hole, she will let me know for sure, haha... she likes anal sex too but not to the degree of this cougar in my past.
 

lapdog2001

Worshipped Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Jun 30, 2004
Posts
5,631
Media
15
Likes
13,183
Points
643
Location
Massachusetts (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I've told this story in the past, but here goes.
We set up our bed in our new place, on the nice hardwood floors. We remembered to put those felt pads things on the bottom of the bed frame legs so they would scratch the floor. The next morning, after a good nights sleep, we were both frisky and ready to go, so our lovemaking was a little bit more 'enthusiastic' that usual and while I was deeply thrusting into her, she said "I think the bed is moving!" A quick glance to the side and sure enough, the bed had moved about a foot. We laughed and kept up our now even more robust lovemaking, trying to see if we could move the bed even more.

I finally had a great orgasm, then rolled over to lie down next to her. It is then that I realized just how much the bed had moved ... 3-4 feet across the bedroom! The foot of the bed was now close to the opposite wall. We both had a great laugh about that (and put rubber floor protectors under the bed frame legs!)
 

NCbear

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2006
Posts
1,975
Media
0
Likes
2,613
Points
343
Location
Greensboro (North Carolina, United States)
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Two:

1. When I was in my 20s, I was going to graduate school in KY and found the rest areas along the interstates. One evening, driving up from NC, I decided to stop at one right after sundown and stretch my legs in the picnic area right next to the bathrooms.

No sooner had I left my car than several other car doors slammed and about seven or eight men, all older than me, literally ran from their cars to the picnic area, crashing through the underbrush to be the first to get to me. (I was wearing basketball shorts, the most comfortable clothing for the 10-hour drive in the dog days of summer. At the time, I was 6 feet tall and about 170 pounds and an avid bicyclist, if that says anything about my legs.) I even heard one say, complainingly, as he lost the race, “I saw him first!”

Ironically, I wasn’t even thinking about sex, just walking off the stiffness from sitting in a car for too long. The hustle and bustle scared me at first but then tickled my sense of humor.

So I said to the first guy who got to me, “You won! You get a gold star. Have a wonderful evening.” And walked back to my car, cranked it quickly, and left out of there like I’d forgotten something.

As I left, my car windows down, I heard the same complaining voice say, “Y’all scared him off, dammit!”

Sure did, I thought. Even if I’d been interested in getting my dick sucked, I sure as hell wouldn’t have done it anywhere near that godawfully desperate crowd.

2. Much later in life, my man and I were at Haulover Beach in Miami for Christmas. We’d only been before in August or early September, so I wasn’t ready to be naked in 70-degree weather, particularly as the sun was about to go down and the wind off the water was starting to rise. I get cold quickly, so I found myself having to wrap up in all our towels and clothes just to stay warm.

Some younger, bitchier gay guys arrived right after I’d slipped into a warm, comfortable doze, my man out in the water enjoying the swim. I soon realized they were talking trash about someone for not being “brave” enough to be naked at a clothing-optional beach—and that someone was me!

So I raised up on my elbows and said, “Hey! I can hear you!”

Amusingly, they kept going, now saying things like “he said he can hear you” and “did he really say that” and so forth. Very grade-school, immature stuff. So when my muscular, hairy, big-uncut-cocked man came back from swimming, I said loudly, “Do you see those gossipy guys over there? They actually had the gall to criticize me for wrapping up at a clothing-optional beach!” My man, no dummy, said back equally loudly, “Stupid, aren’t they? Isn’t wearing something an option at a clothing-optional beach?”

Other more mature guys, some clothed, some not, then joined in and told those immature guys to mind their own damned business. One even said, “It’s cold as hell and he’s warm and comfy. Your teeth are chattering. Who’s the smart one here?”

They soon slunk away, shamefaced.

NCbear (who finds humor in as many things as possible every day)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: lapdog2001

EllieP

Worshipped Member
Gold
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Posts
9,923
Media
4
Likes
22,055
Points
318
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Pick one! I'm curious!

Good point, btw!

Well, I've shared this before at the expense of my husband, but it's probably one of the funniest things but kind of graphic.

We were doing what couples do in the privacy of our own bedroom, and he was doing my favorite to me. I am a particularly vocal person if you haven't concluded that already from my posts. But he was doing so well, and I was in the clouds and soon making my way to heaven because I knew his routine quite well, and he's so damn talented. But he changed up things right at the end and exerted quite a bit of pressure all at once, and that did it for me! I was a goner.

It took a few minutes to recover, but I reciprocated, and the rest of the festivities went on as usual.

It was a few days later that he told me what happened. In the throes of passion neither of us realized that the cat had entered the bedroom despite the door being closed. However, one of us noticed when she jumped up on the bed, and it wasn't me.

Hubby was on his knees bent over with his butt sticking up. Kitty needed a closer look and went to inspect it. When he felt her nose at his rosebud he thrust forward.

OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that there is no fucking way I could continue with my duties at that point, but this man, this awesome man soldiered forth to complete his mission despite any distractions. I love him so much for that.

But I'm also sorry that I spilled my coffee when he was telling me this story and interrupted it with 10 minutes of laughter before he could finish.

Kitty Butt has been a phrase around our house for some time now. He does have a cute kitty butt I tell him.
 

Driver_tk

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 19, 2017
Posts
473
Media
33
Likes
2,992
Points
413
Location
Massachusetts (United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Well, I've shared this before at the expense of my husband, but it's probably one of the funniest things but kind of graphic.

We were doing what couples do in the privacy of our own bedroom, and he was doing my favorite to me. I am a particularly vocal person if you haven't concluded that already from my posts. But he was doing so well, and I was in the clouds and soon making my way to heaven because I knew his routine quite well, and he's so damn talented. But he changed up things right at the end and exerted quite a bit of pressure all at once, and that did it for me! I was a goner.

It took a few minutes to recover, but I reciprocated, and the rest of the festivities went on as usual.

It was a few days later that he told me what happened. In the throes of passion neither of us realized that the cat had entered the bedroom despite the door being closed. However, one of us noticed when she jumped up on the bed, and it wasn't me.

Hubby was on his knees bent over with his butt sticking up. Kitty needed a closer look and went to inspect it. When he felt her nose at his rosebud he thrust forward.

OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that there is no fucking way I could continue with my duties at that point, but this man, this awesome man soldiered forth to complete his mission despite any distractions. I love him so much for that.

But I'm also sorry that I spilled my coffee when he was telling me this story and interrupted it with 10 minutes of laughter before he could finish.

Kitty Butt has been a phrase around our house for some time now. He does have a cute kitty butt I tell him.
Hysterical story! Thanks for sharing.
 

JTW

Sexy Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2016
Posts
13
Media
0
Likes
75
Points
48
Gender
Male
In my late 20’s I was having some lustful, drunken sex with a busty young single mom named Michelle, for maybe the second or third time. It was a missionary moment, when I’d like to believe I was making her climax, and she tilted her head forward rapidly
 

JTW

Sexy Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2016
Posts
13
Media
0
Likes
75
Points
48
Gender
Male
In my late 20’s I was having some lustful, drunken sex with a busty young single mom named Michelle, for maybe the second or third time. It was a missionary moment, when I’d like to believe I was making her climax, and she tilted her head forward rapidly
...and she head-butted me in the eye very hard, giving me a black eye. Had to come up with an elaborate story to avoid telling my friends and co-workers the truth on that one.