Furious at Comment

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Relentless Original, Sep 16, 2009.

  1. D_Relentless Original

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    I may have flown off the handle with my reply, i am sure you people will put me right if i had, i was just so annoyed.

    I manage staff teams in my line of business and always recruit to equal opportunities within the recruitment and selection process.

    I was approached by a staff member from another unit, who in my opinion has appalling values and certainly would not have the skills to work with my client group, anyway he asked me if he could transfer and work in my unit, i replied politely "no", i didn't think he would have the skills or the patience to work in the unit. He replied nastily " Why, is it cause i am Black"?. I replied, " actually, it is you thats making the issue of being black, i never thought about it, its just that you have an appalling track record and your value base is bad and don't ever use that line on me again. he accused me of being racist. I feel really annoyed with myself for my response, could i have handled that better?.
     
  2. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Whilst I admire your brutal honesty I would have toned down the response greatly in a the work environment.

    That said he was bang out of order with his response.
     
  3. sleepiboi

    sleepiboi Member

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    I'm black and I can say I hate it when people act like that, and this goes with anybody. If they don't have the skills for something and they don't get what they want, they always throw something in their face to make someone feel guilty or something and try to get a job they haven't earned or possibly won't be good for.

    I feel like you handled it well because what else is there to say other then what the real situation is and what the real reason is? Just don't give into ignorance so that they can win and you possibly lose :cool:.
     
  4. B_Dustydo

    B_Dustydo New Member

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    You did the right thing.
    These sorts of malcontents need a dose of tough love at times to make them see the truth.
    Perhaps after he calms down he will digest what you said and turn his attitude and work ethic around.
    Either way kudos to you.
     
  5. D_Dick_Dock_Doe

    D_Dick_Dock_Doe Account Disabled

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    I would have handled it differently. I would have told him to take it up with Human Resources if he had an issue with my decision, and that I wouldn't dignify such a ridiculous charge with an answer.
     
  6. tommiet

    tommiet Member

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    Personally I think you should have said "I'll think about your request, however, there are some issues with your performance which may weigh heavily on my decision". Then get back to him and explain your justifications with facts. I was in HR for 15 years.
     
  7. beachbum1971

    beachbum1971 Member

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    I can be pretty straight forward too, so I can totally understand where you were coming from. Unfortunately, some people go on the defensive before you see it coming. I try to be as diplomatic as possible, when possible, if at all possible. This guy took you off guard and you were honest. It happens. Hopefully that's the end of it. If you are ever in a similar situation, you will have the benefit of already dealing with once it so you can hopefully have a more tactful response come to mind. Such as, "No, I only base my hiring decisions on performance history" and then ignore his race comment completely.
    I work with an individual who has a huge chip on her shoulder and places a lot of blame on her race. We have all learned, the less said, the better, and not to take the bait to even go down that road.
     
  8. Pendlum

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    I really hope your bosses don't screw you over on this. *I* think you handled it properly, maybe not PC, but still. You are in a higher position than him, he was very out of line, and you put him in his place. And hopefully you gave him a reality check.

    So here's hoping you don't get busted over this.
     
  9. Principessa

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    I think you could have been a tad bit more gentle; BUT I can understand why you weren't. The man sounds like a jackass. People like that often need to be hit between the eyes with a 2x4.:redface::mad:

    Also, not everything is racism. Sometimes a white person doesn't like a specific black person because that black person is a butthead. Same thing can happen in reverse, too. :cool: If what you sayis true; then if that guy trys to make a stink his record should speak for itself and you will be vindicated. :cool:
     
  10. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    I agree with NJ. With people who are buttheads, sometimes you have to be a butthead yourself to get their attention.

    Not to say there isn't racism out there. Almost all of us have some sort of prejudice of one type or another. For most of us, it's relatively low-key and often something we don't act on. I have a couple of prejudices that I grew up with (I'm not going to tell you what or about who) that I am very aware of and bend over backwards not to bring into the workplace. But I'm human just like everyone else.

    Going back to the guy you confronted at work .... if you're going to automatically go to the worst case scenario (is it because I'm Black?) instead of considering everything else along the way, that's a sign of something to me.
     
  11. Pitbull

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    You should have had a better response.

    You should have been prepared to get a comment like that.

    Many people who lack the ability and skills are well aware that they can use an allegation of discrimination to get ahead.
    Many large corporations will give into an unqualified person. No one wants to be the employee that asked for a discrimination lawsuit which has a higher cost than would have been incurred with the initial promotion or transfer.

    You need to learn to play the game better.
    Whatever you do - document document document to cover your ass.
     
  12. Rommette

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    I hate when people through race in others faces. If you had other blacks in your department then you should have pointed it out too.
     
  13. nudeyorker

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    Well... I had a situation a few years ago that landed me in hot water because I had a situation similar to what you described. I had someone ask me "Are you reprimanding me because I'm black?" and I said "No I'm reprimanding you because you are stupid, are you questioning me because I'm white?" Needless to say from that point on all such discussions were arbitrated in HR with another party. I'm sorry you had the experience.
     
  14. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I disagree. Then you would be allowing yourself to be dragged into the race argument. Race had nothing to do with the conversation from the OP's point of view so.....................ignore it and keep to the facts.

    A few years ago I was recruiting internally for a team leader. An Asian girl who I had only hired about a month earlier as a team member applied for the TL position. When she was not short-listed she asked me directly if she had been unsuccessful because she was Asian. I replied " I was the one who hired you just a few weeks back and I have never been so insulted in my life at your suggestion. Would you like me to make an appointment with HR so we can discuss this formally"? She walked away without answering. She was promoted a little time down the line however as she was really good at the job which to me was the only important factor.
     
  15. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Bingo! With all communication via HR then he can't come back and file a lawsuit for discrimination against you or the company. Document, document, document, everything.
     
    #15 jason_els, Sep 16, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2009
  16. Principessa

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    :eek: I'm shocked you weren't more diplomatic. You must have been quite young then.

    I dunno, that sounds good on the surface but it could just invite an altercation. "How long will you think about it?" "What issues with my performance?" etc., etc. :redface:


    Good call, I should have thought of that.


    Agreed, the iron fist in the velvet glove is often the best and most respected approach. :cool:
     
  17. superbot

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    The accusation of racism is bandied around all the time nowadays.It is something that can get you into very hot water,which of course is why some people chose to use it as a weapon.I don't for one minute believe you have anything to reproach youself about,instead if it happen's again you should reply with equal FORCE 'that you have made a very serious false allegation me and I intend to take it further!'....
     
  18. Viking_UK

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    It really pisses me off when people play the race, religion, sex or sexuality card because they don't get their own way. It demeans everyone else who has actually worked hard and is good at what they do.

    Should someone be given a post because they're black/asian/Jewish/a woman/gay or whatever or because they'd be good at the job and would fit in as a member of the team? The thing is it's a minefield and you've got to pick your way through it very carefully and be able to justify any choices and prove that they weren't motivated by discrimination.

    The company I used to work for decided to appoint shift leaders in our department and people were invited to apply. One woman who'd been there for the best part of 20 years put her name forward and was annoyed when she wasn't short-listed. She confronted the boss in the middle of the office on why she hadn't been picked and asked if it was because she was a black woman. The boss (female) looked at her and said, "No. It's because you spend a lot of your time gossiping, your work has been substandard for quite some time and we're actually considering giving you a written warning about your timekeeping, so there's no way you'd ever be short-listed for a shift leader's post. I was actually surprised that you'd applied." It was all very matter of fact and delivered in front of everyone, so she had no real comeback. However, she did spend most of the rest of the day complaining to anyone who'd listen about how humiliating it had been.
     
  19. D_Relentless Original

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    Thanks people, i think i was more shocked than anything that he could say such a thing, i spoke with HR who basically were not interested, they tend to not support management these days with anything, that said, his reputation goes before him for previous trouble with management and his disgust with older women working comments, but i am always willing to give people a second chance. Two staff i inherited a few years ago, because they were hard to manage have been excellent team members, so maybe leopards can change their spots.

    I was more annoyed because racism does go on in some departments which is getting better at being stamped out and he is affecting the true decent people that are genuinely underepresented in the department with his false allegations.

    Anyway i learned today that he has brought his union official into his current manager because a staff member has half an hour overtime more than him and feels discriminated against.

    I document everything too, sad ,but its all about covering thy ass these days.

    Thanks everyone for your comments, much appreciated.
     
    #19 D_Relentless Original, Sep 17, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2009
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