G0y not Gay

[223790]

Hi guys,

I was just wondering if anyone out there identifies with the concept of g0y (spelled: g - zero - y). I came across this website (below) a couple of months ago and it really helped me figure out some feelings I have had for other guys for a good part of my life. Basically, a g0y is a guy that feels an intense bond, affection and masculine love for other guys, but is not interested in having sexual realtions with them. Let me know your experiences, and I'll let you know mine. Cheers!

g0ys.org -GUys into gUys - not gAys...

 

[yngjock20]

So it's like having a man crush?

 

[psidom]

i think g0y is just as gay as gay is g0y.

ok i mean that i think there is a strong possibility of some
closet gayness going on with the g0ys.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Never mind how much my eyes hurt at the web design. It just sounds like a bunch of gay dudes who aren't into anal sex and they seem really embittered about it. I mistakenly thought it would reference guys who like to emotionally bond with other guys without the sex altogether (oral, anal, any of that). Then I read a whole bunch of Scripture passages.

Seriously... it's a bit much. Never mind how you pronounce g-0-y (g'zeroey? goy like koi fish, g'oh-hey). No matter what you're into, keep it safe and protected and don't be ashamed of what you like.

 

[Like_a_BeerCan]

Its possible to love someone without having sex with them just as its possible to have sex with someone and not love them.

I am GAY as F*** and have admitted it to myself now for almost 10 years. BUT in the sexual realm, I am Bi, in that I can enjoy sex with males or females, but on the interpersonal level, I dont get along with or enjoy the company of females near as much as I do other males. With that in mind, I classify myself as Gay, not because of the sex, but because whom I enjoy sharing companionship with.




"It's BIG, It's Beautiful, and You're Gonna LOVE IT!!"

 

[D_Ollyvalle Treegirth]

Have just spent 20 mns or so looking at the site. it's interesting -- I'm all for anythnig that gives guys a window into their own life, and allows them to open up. I'm sure there are many guys who fall into the category "gOy" (or would-be gOys anyway), and I believe there are endless ways to define ourselves sexually and emotionally. But I can't help feeling the site denigrates gay men, painting them in a very caricatural way, in its effort to define gOy. THere should be a way to define "gOy" without stigmatizing "gAy". Maybe just a quibble -- I'm no militant about this-- but wanted to point out my impression.

Hi guys,

I was just wondering if anyone out there identifies with the concept of g0y (spelled: g - zero - y). I came across this website (below) a couple of months ago and it really helped me figure out some feelings I have had for other guys for a good part of my life. Basically, a g0y is a guy that feels an intense bond, affection and masculine love for other guys, but is not interested in having sexual realtions with them. Let me know your experiences, and I'll let you know mine. Cheers!

g0ys.org -GUys into gUys - not gAys...

 

[midlifebear]

Altough your PM stats don't say where you are, I suspect your either in the USA, UK, or Australia. I checked out the site and it smacks of underhanded homophobia trying to pass itself off as being fashionably politically correct.

The reason I suspect you live in a homophobic English-speaking country is that, having lived more than 12 years in Latin American countries, Spain, and Italy, it's normal for men to show affection -- sincere, physical affection -- for one another in the streets, restaurants, cafes, football stadiums, business meetings, -- basically everywhere. Men kiss men on one or both cheeks. Not doing so is considered somewhat rude. Men walk with their arms around each other and have few hangups, if any, about being naked in public with one another and generally just getting on with enjoying life. These are STRAIGHT men about whom I describing. Gay men behave exactly the same. The only difference is a gay man is more likely to refer to his fellow gay friends in the feminine.

You'll also discover that in Thailand and Cambodia men AND women cannot talk to you without constantly touching you. They are warm, genuinely sweet people and communication involves more than just staring and talking at one another. It takes some getting used to, but once you realize a Thia or Cambodian isn't "coming on" to you, it becomes quite natural and genuinely comforting to feel the arm or hand of another human being touch you.

This LPSG site is so over populated with 'Mericuhn youngn's and sad lads from the UK that it's tragic to hear men start threats that rate human contact as gay or not gay/homophobic or not homophobic. There's something fucked up with north American culture that teaches children not to physically embrace each other as friends at an early age. Personally, I feel it's a purposefully engineered mental illness.

Truly sad.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I agree, MLBear. It sounds like men who want to be gay, but are terrified of calling themselves gay... so they have to think of another word that's close, but not exact.

It reminds me of a lot of the "mild oaths" that people use to avoid cursing. "Darn" and "dang" allow you to say "damn" without saying "damn," "gosh" allows you to take the lord's name in vain without taking the lord's name in vain, "shoot" allows you to say "shit" without saying "shit."

Calling yourself "g0y" is still calling yourself gay, without calling yourself "gay."

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Proper term is the Greek word "Agape"...pronounced ah-gah-pay

 

[DC_DEEP]

Proper term is the Greek word "Agape"...pronounced ah-gah-pay

Doesn't agape generally connote selfless, pure, spiritual, altruistic, less-emotional-and-less-romantic love?

What I gathered from the linked website really sounds like (and they kind of reiterated this several times) passionate love without buttfucking.

Honestly, they sound like a group of self-loathing gay fundamentalist christians who cannot reconcile their ideal with their reality, without reinventing a few things - including the word "gay." The very fact that they mention their "loathing" for anal sex, several times, makes me suspect that in fact, many of them probably engage in it, then feel guilty.

 

[jutadawg]

Wow, I have to admit, I couldn't get past the obnoxious design of the site. Drove me too crazy to continue reading.

 

[223790]

Maybe I should be more specific in my question because I'm not really looking for a critique of the website design (I didn't design it, so what do I care), the terminology or the religious tones on the website. I don't care what a guy calls himself. He can call himself gay, g0y, straight, bi etc - they're just labels, so that's unimportant. To be honest, I didn't even look at the religious rhetoric on the website because I think religion can be bent and twisted to suit anyone's point of view. The title of the thread is G0y not Gay so there is no confusion as to whether a typo was made. It's nothing to do with labels and homophobics afraid to admit that they have feelings for other guys. I was surprised to see that many guys jumped to that conclusion automatically. What I would like to know is this:

Has anyone (male) who labels themselves straight (regardless of percentages, but overwhelmingly straight) ever been attracted to another guy in an intense way, but is not interested in having sexual relations with them even if the opportunity to do so presented itself?

I'm not talking about attraction to someone you just met. I'm referring to an attraction that has built up over a prolonged friendship where you and another guy have built these feelings because of shared experiences, been completely open and honest with each other about everything, and have mutual respect and admiration for one another.

Please share your stories if this sounds like you. Men only please because this is not unusual for women (women are SO lucky this way). Don't read anything sexist into this. I want to hear from men because it seems to be a taboo topic among heterosexual men. Cheers!

 

[223790]

Altough your PM stats don't say where you are, I suspect your either in the USA, UK, or Australia. I checked out the site and it smacks of underhanded homophobia trying to pass itself off as being fashionably politically correct.

The reason I suspect you live in a homophobic English-speaking country is that, having lived more than 12 years in Latin American countries, Spain, and Italy, it's normal for men to show affection -- sincere, physical affection -- for one another in the streets, restaurants, cafes, football stadiums, business meetings, -- basically everywhere. Men kiss men on one or both cheeks. Not doing so is considered somewhat rude. Men walk with their arms around each other and have few hangups, if any, about being naked in public with one another and generally just getting on with enjoying life. These are STRAIGHT men about whom I describing. Gay men behave exactly the same. The only difference is a gay man is more likely to refer to his fellow gay friends in the feminine.

You'll also discover that in Thailand and Cambodia men AND women cannot talk to you without constantly touching you. They are warm, genuinely sweet people and communication involves more than just staring and talking at one another. It takes some getting used to, but once you realize a Thia or Cambodian isn't "coming on" to you, it becomes quite natural and genuinely comforting to feel the arm or hand of another human being touch you.

This LPSG site is so over populated with 'Mericuhn youngn's and sad lads from the UK that it's tragic to hear men start threats that rate human contact as gay or not gay/homophobic or not homophobic. There's something fucked up with north American culture that teaches children not to physically embrace each other as friends at an early age. Personally, I feel it's a purposefully engineered mental illness.

Truly sad.

What's truly said is that you have jumped to an incorrect conclusion without bothering to gather all of the facts. Distorting a topic the way you have done tells me that you have unresolved issues in your life, and are ultra -hyper defensive about anything you deem to be homophobic. I happen to have gay friends who are very open about this very topic. Believe it or not, there are men who would like to have closer physical relationships with other men without it becoming sexual - what this entire thread is about and what you are preaching the virtues of in your post. :banghead2: You are criticizing me for starting a thread about something you are preaching the virtues of? WTF???? So tell me, who is the narrow minded intolerant bigot now? :yikes:

 

[psidom]

i had a crew of friends that loved art and music.
we were all a pretty big artist collective.
i was a designer and dj,my other friend was a party promoter,
my other friend was a graffitii artist,there was a kid named
spud who made the best hash EVER from homegrown.
there was another dude and his girlfriend who did tattoos, also amazing artists.

we knew another crew that was always throwing parties
in chicago and use to collaborate.

we formed a bond and saw ourselves as more Anti-censorship militia.
we were all artists in our fields.
things changed and i needed more of my own thing.
so now i am a lone wolf,but i will always miss those times
with my original brothers.
i loved them alot.

still i would not say i was g0y. ; )
though i do understand the point of it i think.

 

[B_Nick8]

A g0y? Oi. Sounds like unhealthy bromance to me.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Doesn't agape generally connote selfless, pure, spiritual, altruistic, less-emotional-and-less-romantic love?

What I gathered from the linked website really sounds like (and they kind of reiterated this several times) passionate love without buttfucking.

Honestly, they sound like a group of self-loathing gay fundamentalist christians who cannot reconcile their ideal with their reality, without reinventing a few things - including the word "gay." The very fact that they mention their "loathing" for anal sex, several times, makes me suspect that in fact, many of them probably engage in it, then feel guilty.

Agreed... self loathing drives a lot of strange behavoir.

ANd although your definition of agape is essentially correct... In ancient greece it was considered a kind of love that men felt only for other men... in the absence of sexual contact...

But I think your observation of the disingenuous nature of such claims was probably also true of the Greeks.... secretly... they were butt-fucking up firestorm.

 

[kundalinikat]

This one reminds me of

Frottage HEROIC HOMOSEX

thought this is, uh, celibate. (Of course it is - these men would never enjoy degrading sex. )

 

[B_Nick4444]

Has anyone (male) who labels themselves straight (regardless of percentages, but overwhelmingly straight) ever been attracted to another guy in an intense way, but is not interested in having sexual relations with them even if the opportunity to do so presented itself?

I'm not straight, but definitely have had very intense love for straight guys, with NO sexual feelings whatever

the PHILOS of Greek philosophers, the love that Jesus Christ spoke of

 

[DC_DEEP]

Agreed... self loathing drives a lot of strange behavoir.

ANd although your definition of agape is essentially correct... In ancient greece it was considered a kind of love that men felt only for other men... in the absence of sexual contact...

But I think your observation of the disingenuous nature of such claims was probably also true of the Greeks.... secretly... they were butt-fucking up firestorm.

Ah, I was thinking of philos as the man/man non-sexual love (i. e., brotherly love), and agape as more of a parent/child love, but I'm not an expert!:biggrin1:

That website, and the whole concept, is still creepy, though.

 

[vindicator]

The problem with g0y is that it seems to have some religious Christian undertones. I suspect that it is a result of gay or bi Christian men who have issues coming to grips with their own sexuality and have chosen this other term to separate themselves from the GLBT community because they don't want to have the stigma of being "gay".

Unfortunately some of the wording seems to border on almost anti-gay. They drive the fact that they do not do anal as the defining point in being g0y.

Newsflash! A LOT of gay dudes don't like anal! We're all g0y? Of course not, we're still gay. I'm not a fan of labels, you can be whoever you want to be and call yourself whatever you want. But they seem to want it both ways and have hostility towards gays because they might have anal... and thats just plain not cool.

By their definition, i would be g0y.