- Joined
- May 4, 2021
- Posts
- 62
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 30
- Points
- 18
- Location
- Austin (Texas, United States)
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Hey everyone, so before I start typing I'd just like to say this isn't some SPH bullshit or big cock worship. It's how I genuinely feel like. I'm depressed, I'm heartless towards women (even if they like me), and basically completely emotionless. I feel dead inside.
So, basically, I have horrendous penis size insecurity. To the point, it's affecting my life, my well-being, and my relationships. I'm also muscular and tall and relatively handsome (according to women I've met). I've realized the more handsome they find you, the more size becomes more important. I've been told by women that were interested in me that I'm a good person and that they rarely meet men like me, but most of them liked me for me, not for my size. And I know this sounds shitty, but this makes me feel horrible. I know the importance of personality in dating. I know I should take this as a compliment, and I'm trying to. But I've been hurt, too many times to count... It was always my penis size. Sometimes it was directly, sometimes it was indirectly... And it's not even that women didn't like me, they wanted to stay with me. But I saw the disappointment in their eyes. And that's much more hurtful to me than if she told me directly something that's bothering her.
I've been dating my ex-girlfriend for 3 years, she was the love of my life. And she was a short girl with, small vagina. It was a perfect fit for my normal size penis. And it was absolutely perfect... And she could orgasm all the time just from the penetration of my penis, but I realized she was a rarity. And that's it's not easy for me to find that compatibility again...
After we broke up and I went through heartbreaks that almost made me kill myself. I've decided to try online dating on discord, specifically I joined dating servers and porn servers such as Lust.
There I met multiple women that were interested in me because of my initial looks and I decided to give it a shot.
The majority of women I've been with liked me and wanted to continue dating me but I called it off. It was always that case... When we exchanged nudes. They'd say something along the lines "It will be bigger IRL right?", "You just have big hands right?" or something along that lines. I know I maybe was just unlucky with women I've met? But truth is that is my experience. And honestly, they didn't even realize how much they hurt me with that because I've kept it in myself. I just laughed it off and said yeah sure, while inside I was crying.
You see, I'm that type of person... I want to be perfect for my partner... I really miss my ex a lot, because we were perfect for each other... But we broke up because of silly egoistical things and we never tried to get back together because of our egos. It's been 2 years now. She's engaged to some other dude now, but I can see on her face that she doesn't love him as much she loved me... I know how her face was when she was with me and when we took our picture next to our love tree. And that's hurting me as well. Sometimes I'm thinking about her and try not to cry but the memories are too hard for me to bare and then my tears just fall down my face.
I'm a broken person. I know women have different preferences for someone they want to date and someone they want to fuck... I know you will tell me size doesn't matter when u are in a relationship. But for me it does. Because I want to be sexually perfect for my partner like we're in a hookup but we're not. We're actually in a relationship. I don't want to feel like I lack something like I can be outranked by someone who is simply genetically given a bigger phallus. I don't want that feeling ok? I wouldn't care about it if I didn't care about how my partner feels, but I do. And I wanna be sure my penis is truly perfect for her.
I realize this will almost never be possible... My ex-girlfriend was just one in a million... And she was unique, didn't wear makeup, wasn't slutty, was loyal, was really kinky in sex...And she made me smile... A lot.
Sex is very important to me...I just want to enjoy it... This experience, but I'm so different than other men. I'm a box which key is lost. Demisexual dude, who's expected to be something which he's not by the woman he meets. I'm expected to be a dominant crazy dude that only wants to fuck anything that moves and has a huge penis.
And I'm over here just a normal dude, with a dream. And a normal-sized penis.
I know plenty of you will say the average is ideal for most women... The reality is, it's not... Women clearly fantasize about big, and it's better for them from a visual perspective.
I don't know how to help myself. I forgot how to give love, I even forgot how to receive love, but in the same time, I seek love. It seems in the wrong places.
Thank you for your time. Honestly I never thought I'd want to end myself because of my penis size insecurity. But I found this forum fitting for that theme.
So, basically, I have horrendous penis size insecurity. To the point, it's affecting my life, my well-being, and my relationships. I'm also muscular and tall and relatively handsome (according to women I've met). I've realized the more handsome they find you, the more size becomes more important. I've been told by women that were interested in me that I'm a good person and that they rarely meet men like me, but most of them liked me for me, not for my size. And I know this sounds shitty, but this makes me feel horrible. I know the importance of personality in dating. I know I should take this as a compliment, and I'm trying to. But I've been hurt, too many times to count... It was always my penis size. Sometimes it was directly, sometimes it was indirectly... And it's not even that women didn't like me, they wanted to stay with me. But I saw the disappointment in their eyes. And that's much more hurtful to me than if she told me directly something that's bothering her.
I've been dating my ex-girlfriend for 3 years, she was the love of my life. And she was a short girl with, small vagina. It was a perfect fit for my normal size penis. And it was absolutely perfect... And she could orgasm all the time just from the penetration of my penis, but I realized she was a rarity. And that's it's not easy for me to find that compatibility again...
After we broke up and I went through heartbreaks that almost made me kill myself. I've decided to try online dating on discord, specifically I joined dating servers and porn servers such as Lust.
There I met multiple women that were interested in me because of my initial looks and I decided to give it a shot.
The majority of women I've been with liked me and wanted to continue dating me but I called it off. It was always that case... When we exchanged nudes. They'd say something along the lines "It will be bigger IRL right?", "You just have big hands right?" or something along that lines. I know I maybe was just unlucky with women I've met? But truth is that is my experience. And honestly, they didn't even realize how much they hurt me with that because I've kept it in myself. I just laughed it off and said yeah sure, while inside I was crying.
You see, I'm that type of person... I want to be perfect for my partner... I really miss my ex a lot, because we were perfect for each other... But we broke up because of silly egoistical things and we never tried to get back together because of our egos. It's been 2 years now. She's engaged to some other dude now, but I can see on her face that she doesn't love him as much she loved me... I know how her face was when she was with me and when we took our picture next to our love tree. And that's hurting me as well. Sometimes I'm thinking about her and try not to cry but the memories are too hard for me to bare and then my tears just fall down my face.
I'm a broken person. I know women have different preferences for someone they want to date and someone they want to fuck... I know you will tell me size doesn't matter when u are in a relationship. But for me it does. Because I want to be sexually perfect for my partner like we're in a hookup but we're not. We're actually in a relationship. I don't want to feel like I lack something like I can be outranked by someone who is simply genetically given a bigger phallus. I don't want that feeling ok? I wouldn't care about it if I didn't care about how my partner feels, but I do. And I wanna be sure my penis is truly perfect for her.
I realize this will almost never be possible... My ex-girlfriend was just one in a million... And she was unique, didn't wear makeup, wasn't slutty, was loyal, was really kinky in sex...And she made me smile... A lot.
Sex is very important to me...I just want to enjoy it... This experience, but I'm so different than other men. I'm a box which key is lost. Demisexual dude, who's expected to be something which he's not by the woman he meets. I'm expected to be a dominant crazy dude that only wants to fuck anything that moves and has a huge penis.
And I'm over here just a normal dude, with a dream. And a normal-sized penis.
I know plenty of you will say the average is ideal for most women... The reality is, it's not... Women clearly fantasize about big, and it's better for them from a visual perspective.
I don't know how to help myself. I forgot how to give love, I even forgot how to receive love, but in the same time, I seek love. It seems in the wrong places.
Thank you for your time. Honestly I never thought I'd want to end myself because of my penis size insecurity. But I found this forum fitting for that theme.