Gay and UnGay Promiscuity

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Lordpendragon, Sep 29, 2006.

  1. Lordpendragon

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    This may be a very old and thread worn issue - I'm too lazy to search and besides there are lots of new interesting people here.

    I have been a Het Whore - I don't care if you judge me badly for that - it was the way I was at the time and I don't regret it - if someone wanted me - they could have me - easy. I would like to think though that I always gave myself and appreciated their womanhood.

    For those not in a relationship though, it seems that gay guys have far more opportunity for promiscuity.

    Is this correct or just a myth?

    Is it because guys have the same sexuality as each other? No issues of the dreaded "Slut" label.

    Is it that we can deal with sex on an objective level better?

    When I see hets being promiscuos now, it tends to be when they are older? Is this a myth?
     
  2. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    As an unyoung, ungay man, I am unpromiscuous. Twenty years ago I was a slut. I guess I don't support your theory, m'lord.
     
  3. Lordpendragon

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    Help - please don't think I have a theory - I am just interested in the sexual dynamics between same sex and not same sex - sure if any of us "settle" down in a relationship and neither party has a great desire for promiscuity outside the relationship, we're not in the issue anymore.

    I bet you used to pull rank. You old ex-slut you. :smile:


    Regrets, I've had a few, but then again - SO HAVE YOU :biggrin1:
     
  4. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Too few to mention. I did it my way.:rolleyes:
     
  5. fortiesfun

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    Well there is a theory out there, even if you don't particularly hold it or advance it. Gay promiscuity is so widely held to be a "fact" that it is routinely cited as one of the arguments against gay marriage, for example.

    It is widely believed that gay men are more promiscuous because the two alleged "natural" disincentives for sex in women (1. that it could result in pregnancy, and 2. that they desire lifelong commitment more than momentary pleasure) are not present when two men get together. Supposedly, all men are always ready for sex but are usually unable to execute their plan for want of a willing partner. With a gay hook-up, goes the reasoning, there is no one to say "no."

    I hope my own skepticism is adequately apparent, but for those that believe that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, (and also think that sexually transmitted diseases have had no effect on the sexual revolution), then gay promiscuity is a logical extension of those positions.
     
  6. Lordpendragon

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    Thanks 40's:biggrin1: .

    Now I am thinking about it, I would say that it is misleading to treat the two in comparison, they are different - so treat the issue seperatley.

    I would say that if I were gay, I think that I would have had more sexual encounters than being a het.

    I say this because I was comfortable with the situation that two people having a sexual attraction can act upon it for the sole purpose of satisfying that attraction.

    Is it a myth that more men feel this way than women? So if two men find each other attractive they are more likely to go with it?

    Any argument that is based upon people being comfortable with their sexuality being a reason not to have marriage is beyond stupid. :wink:
     
  7. fortiesfun

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    I've had more gay partners but more het sex, so I mess with all the stats.

    I suspect that you are an outlier in this opinion, but I think you have made yourself clear about it. Incidently, I concur.

    I think it is actaully well established (through opinion polling) that more men think this way than women do, but the latter point doesn't follow automatically from the first. If it is "ungay" men who think this, and that is who is statistically sampled about their opinion in highest numbers, it will tell you little about the behavior of "gay" men, which is what you want to know.

    Astonishing isn't it. There a lots of arguments against gay marriage with which I disagree but recognize as self-consistent and internally valid, but saying gays shouldn't be allowed to marry because they might have trouble keeping your vows seems to me just stupid. (By the same logic, wouldn't lesbians be the perfect couple? Perhaps they should be compelled to marry.) At least, I can hardly see how wanting to sleep around is an exclusively gay problem. And doesn't marriage help mitigate against that?
     
  8. Lordpendragon

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  9. fortiesfun

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    I mean that exactly. Lots of het sex with few partners, a little gay sex with lots of partners. Incidentally, that is a common pattern for bisexuality. I just mess with the stats when there is an implicit assumption of gay/straight dimorphism.

    Maybe. Brits are outliers in almost all things.:wink:

    Looks like time for a poll to me.

    Two or more people...? oops. My Mormon ancestry shows through again. :smile:
     
  10. Lordpendragon

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    I realise that this is a hackneyed area for a lot of you that I can see has been used by some to criticise morally a gay lifestyle.

    I'm not into that moral area at all.

    What I am working through here is my own opinion about these things. I am beginning to think that maybe gay guys are more able to express their sexuality simply because men share commonality that maybe men and women don't always. Are there gay guys who are only ineterested in finding Mr. Right. Have you ever heard of a guy saying, I am staying a virgin for the right guy?

    I don't know, it's difficult and I am not even sure what the point of the question is now.

    I have certainly known women who have been completely comfortable with a one nighter or less :rolleyes:, so I can't generalise.
     
  11. invisibleman

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    I think that it depends. I believe that regardless of sexual orientation, marital status and gender. Anybody can be promiscuous.

    I do believe that there are people who are truly committed in their relationships. I have also seen people who have been committed to their life partners--gay and straight individuals (male and female)--who have suddenly decided to become promiscuous. I don't know why. Maybe it is a lot of factors.
     
  12. fortiesfun

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    Your nonjudgmental approach to gay issues is not in doubt. I'll quit highjacking this thread, but just concur that your curiosity does not serve the gay-bashing agenda. Sorry if I implied otherwise.
     
  13. invisibleman

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    As a person who has been through a few Mr. Rights At The Time, I find that it is possible to find Mr. Right. but Mr. Perfect is far from it. Nobody is perfect. No, I didn't stay a virgin for the right guy. (There isn't a "right" guy. There are right guy(s). Every guy I have had sex with have taught me a lot about fucking and getting fucked. They have taught me about dating. They have taught me other things outside of just sex as well.) I wanted to do it for experience for a long time when I was in my twenties. I only did it with older men (30-mid 40s). I had such a great time. (Yeah, I practiced safer sex!!! And it was hot sex.)

    As far as some gay man saying that that they wanted to stay a virgin for the right man, I haven't heard any of my friends or confidantes saying that sort of thing to me. Maybe there are gay men like that out there.

    Anyway, what criteria and credentials does a Mr. Right have to have anyway? They will be different for everybody.
     
  14. Gisella

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    Yes, I think most males are more objective about sex activities and some or many may engage in more activities between themselves.

    Who inventend the striptease clubs, gogo clubs, porn, gloryholes, sexual massages, places to have sex in clubs, bathroons and etc? Males... Than the interested males are going in those places and having their fun. And if those business goes on and on an more are re-invented and invented is because they have a demand, they have costumers.

    Yes, I do think many males having the right opportunity engage in masturbation, bj's with completly strangers and are ok about it. But the 'promiscuity' in my eyes is when people choose to not protect themselves..than is just craziness and there are crazy people of every gender and sexual orientation, that plays russian rolette.

    I watched a tv documentary about the behaviour of teenagers who live in the suburbia, while ago - I was very chocked. What I saw was bunch of bored middle class 'kids' in Conyers, playing sex..and young males creating games where 'dumb' girls gave them favors aiming to be popular by playing the males many fantasies and etc.
    http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/georgia/etc/press.html

    Than I think most people when engage in promiscuity starts in teens and some may carry it through middle 40's ...at some point it gets boring of too much play and bodies ages too...
     
  15. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    I'm no 'interesting new member' but so far you're getting responses from us established ones.

    My sense of the application of the word 'slut' to women is a direct result of women (in the age-old sense of the imposition of a double standardized sexual accountability) are not supposed to have a great many partners.

    In fact the worst adjective that I can think of applied to a male slut is "whore master" (which still denigrates women) - or "stud". Odd :33:

    I know many women who objectify sex just as well as some men do. I encourage more of them to come out of the closet to pounce on the theory that men can somehow more detach themselves from the emotional piece in sexual relations.
     
  16. Gisella

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    Yeh..you are right Stronzo there are women that objectify sex just as some men.

    When I think about my own experiences and the men I had most of them were average lovers ...well...:rolleyes: :biggrin1: ...My best memories are the ones given by my few best lovers...than I think, is not a matter of quantity but quality experiences, at least to me. My thing is appreciate the whole experience that comes before the banging event..the seduction and play that goes on that we both play with each other..some men know how others dont. Than most of time is not a repression thing but an selective thing going on.

    If most males were kind of 'Casanovas' and lovers of women and have their techniques and blabla up to date and etc...it would be most fun to have fun. But unfortunatly is not so...:rolleyes: I wish to had memorable encouters with all my choosen males and I had this silly ideia that men were most great lovers and sooo experienced and etc...They are not. And I keep taking my time to know their ways and observing, before engaging in sex. And I'm a very simple woman to please physicaly and in 'raw' situation just need to mount a penis and that is it. Than most males in this world would 'satysfied' me in a plain physical way. But I am not just a pussy.

    Yeh..I'm an adventurous romantic woman...:rolleyes:
     
  17. bluekarma

    bluekarma Well-Known Member

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    :yup: It's true, there are women out there who can detach the emotional from the physical. I do it all the time. I'm am in the minority though, and that could be due to several factors that I won't go into at this time. I think instead of promiscuous women being labeled as sluts, they should call it the Samantha Jones Syndrome - SJS. Definition: Women whom enjoy and engage in emotionally detached sexual intercourse and/or sexual endeavors for the sheer physical pleasure.That will never happen though. Even in today's modern society full of liberated career driven women, and with shows like Sex and the City attempting to squash the hypocrisy that is present for women who like to fuck and walk away, the stigma remains.

     
  18. fortiesfun

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    And customers, also. I like your point better, however. We could all use a good costume designer I think.
     
  19. Gisella

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    :redface: :biggrin1:

    Yeh..I'm always confusing words...people and not clothes...yeh, you got it.

    :chairfall:
     
  20. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    If you want the opinion of an uninformed redneck on the original question then read on.

    I hold the belief that gay males are more likely to be promiscuous. I also think that they are freer in what they do with sex. I think that having given quite a bit of thought to who they are sexually most of them probably know a little more about what they like and want. I think (though I could be mistaken) that most people in the gay community would be a little less judgmental of another mans desires leaving him free to explore his identity and desires. I do not for a minute think that you can't do so as a straight male, just that it is harder to find open minded people.
     
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