Gay App Recomendations

[deleted847535]

so I have not been using apps for a few years and am looking to get back out and meet guys.

so if grindr is out... what do you recommend and why? give me a pro and a con please.

I live in the US so something that works well here would be appreciated.

also your take on if it is a good app to meet guys or is it just good for hook ups.

 

[winesthel945]

This has been discussed in a number of other threads, so you might do a bit of searching.

The bottom line is that all the apps have different vibes and different communities, and indeed the same app can vary widely based on the city. For example, in my area the app Jack'd has strong following in the Asian and African American communities, while Scruff is much more Caucasian and Latino, but not exclusive.

In my experience, most people have profiles on many apps because you never know where you'll find someone interesting. At various points I've had profiles on Grindr, Scruff, Jack'd, Surge, Hornet, Daddyhunt, Manhunt, Growlr, Adam4Adam, Hole, OKCupid, Match, and Tinder. Sometimes active on all or nearly all of them at once.

The comedian Joel Kim Booster has a bit where he refers to having multiple profiles on multiple apps and he calls them, "checking his traps." It's funny, but it's also on point. One app is not the end-all.

As for "hookup" versus "dating"... it's really up to you how you use the app. If you make it clear in your profile what you're looking for then you will find people will self-select based on what they're looking for. But it's also important to be realistic -- most relationships are hookups that somehow kept on going. I have dated people for many months who I met on a more hook-up oriented app. I've hooked up with people from Tinder. I had a 4 year relationship with a guy I met on an app where my profile was very hookup oriented. You never know what you're going to stumble upon or where.

If you want to use the apps to take 10 loads a day, you can do that. If you want to occasionally have a hookup, you can do that. And if you want coffee dates only, you can do that. It's just a matter of you stating your intentions and also making sure you're being realistic about what you want and need. You can have a profile that focuses on dating, but when you're horny... you're horny.

Try them all, keep profiles everywhere. Check them periodically and if they aren't doing anything for you, then close them and move on.

 

[deleted847535]

Thanks, I read through a bunch of the blog posts here most were trashing the apps they did not like so I guess my question should have read which ones do people like would recommend and why.


I do not have the time or inclination to run on multiple apps so was looking for direction in where to focus my resources.

I was sort of overwhelmed by all the choices when I logged into the app store.

 

[cedarizzo]

In my area, I have the best luck on Grindr.

I use Squirt sometimes, but I have very little luck there.

I have Scruff and Growlr, but I don't use them very much. Scruff has a lot of people but I never see any action on there. Growlr has some local guys, but there is 1 guy on there that won't leave me alone. And if I block him, he will reappear a few weeks later with a new account.
So I stopped using Growlr.

I've tried Sniffies a few times, not much action around here. I am hoping it will pick up soon.

 

[dreambridger]

I said in an other thread that I stand by Sniffies. Although the main reason it works best for me is because it is desktop friendly, since i don't use a smart phone.

 

[1348084]

When I moved to San Francisco in 2010 I joined Grindr and via that app was able to meet a lot of guys platonically. Also the odd one or two dates but it helped me break into the social scene and meet people.

However, since I moved to Zurich, Switzerland I have had nothing but bad experiences with Grindr and prefer Scruff. In my opinion Scruff seems more "sane".

On Grindr I've been sent messages that

1)don't even start with a "hello".... simply a picture of a guys gaping ass hole and the message "come fuck my man c*nt"
2)When asked what I'm looking for (despite my profile stating friends /networking) and I reply as such I have then been told "to get the fuck of a sex app"


And even on the odd occasion I thought I've been chatting to someone sane and normal I have logged out to go shower or whatever and because I didn't reply to a message immediately I've been called a c*nt and to go die.

I've had to report a lot of abuse on Grindr.

There is also a lot of drug dealers and escorts there.

However, like I say, that wasn't my experience in California...but that was 10 years ago.

 

[LPSG Simon]

I loved Scruff for a long time because I felt like the guys on it where a little more DTE and approachable. A bit more substance, more get-to-know and less games going on.

I didnt even have Grindr for ages. It feels like the McDonalds of apps. I've recently drifted back to it though because you just get more interaction there. Maybe it's a numbers game?

I also dipped into one called Feeld for a while. That was interesting. More of a pansexual community going on there. If you like younger swingers, and are open to varying genders, and would like to see some new faces in your grid that arent on the other apps, I might say give that one a whirl.

 

[hotbtminla]

I use Scruff and Grindr. I like them for different reasons, which is funny considering they're both essentially hook up apps. I don't know if their use in LA is representative, but generally I find Scruff to be "saner" like the poster above. Guys generally seem nicer, friendlier, more down to earth. It's a better experience for flirting, and the app itself has better features than Grindr despite being cheaper (or, rather Grindr's premium subscription is hilariously and prohibitively overpriced). Scruff seems more "long game" inclined - I've definitely had quickies from it, but generally guys are less pushy than they are on Grindr.

Grindr, at least in LA, seems much more "right now." There's an ENORMOUS amount of fake/scam profiles - almost all of which you can smell from a mile away, but Grindr doesn't seem to have any sort of filter for that stuff. The features on the app are pretty lackluster; there are features they consider premium that literally all other apps consider standard. What I find oddest is that despite being very limited in terms of what you can say in your profile (literally, character count) I'd say 2/3 of guys don't even look at them. I'm guessing my pics and basic stats are what seem to get guys attention; the number of times I get hit up asking if I'll top somebody or if I p N p - my profile is very explicitly "I am a bottom" and "absolutely no" is astounding. Meanwhile my Scruff profile is more descriptive and longer and guys seem to read it. The conversations there tend to be very superficial.

They irony is that 2 of my favorite fuckbuds, one of which I'll be seeing as soon as I'm in the clear since my vaccine shot, I met on Grindr.

When I travel (or rather back when I used to in the Before Times) I seem to recall Scruff being more useful than Grindr, at least in NYC and LV. I'd use both, but Scruff would actually deliver. Not literally but OMG that would be awesome if Scruff delivered. Anyway, my last trip to NYC right before Covid hit the guys who came to my hotel to fuck my brains out were from Scruff, and same for my trip to Vegas a few months before. So maybe the dynamic is different in LA.

 

[LPSG Simon]

I use Scruff and Grindr. I like them for different reasons, which is funny considering they're both essentially hook up apps. I don't know if their use in LA is representative, but generally I find Scruff to be "saner" like the poster above. Guys generally seem nicer, friendlier, more down to earth. It's a better experience for flirting, and the app itself has better features than Grindr despite being cheaper (or, rather Grindr's premium subscription is hilariously and prohibitively overpriced). Scruff seems more "long game" inclined - I've definitely had quickies from it, but generally guys are less pushy than they are on Grindr.

Grindr, at least in LA, seems much more "right now." There's an ENORMOUS amount of fake/scam profiles - almost all of which you can smell from a mile away, but Grindr doesn't seem to have any sort of filter for that stuff. The features on the app are pretty lackluster; there are features they consider premium that literally all other apps consider standard. What I find oddest is that despite being very limited in terms of what you can say in your profile (literally, character count) I'd say 2/3 of guys don't even look at them. I'm guessing my pics and basic stats are what seem to get guys attention; the number of times I get hit up asking if I'll top somebody or if I p N p - my profile is very explicitly "I am a bottom" and "absolutely no" is astounding. Meanwhile my Scruff profile is more descriptive and longer and guys seem to read it. The conversations there tend to be very superficial.

They irony is that 2 of my favorite fuckbuds, one of which I'll be seeing as soon as I'm in the clear since my vaccine shot, I met on Grindr.

When I travel (or rather back when I used to in the Before Times) I seem to recall Scruff being more useful than Grindr, at least in NYC and LV. I'd use both, but Scruff would actually deliver. Not literally but OMG that would be awesome if Scruff delivered. Anyway, my last trip to NYC right before Covid hit the guys who came to my hotel to fuck my brains out were from Scruff, and same for my trip to Vegas a few months before. So maybe the dynamic is different in LA.

I think that it's definitely regional. If go anywhere rural I never even bother with Scruff. I think that Grindr is just more of a ubiquitous household name, so the uptake with it is stronger.

You're right about the feature differences. There are a few edges that both had. I notice that Scruff had free push notifications back before Grindr did. This was brilliant for keeping people on board. Knowing that a lot of people had both apps, keeping those alerts going would keep "calling me over" from Grindr, and I'd end up engaging on there way more. Now they limit message history for the free members, so Grindr has an edge there, and Scruff doesn't have the numbers (or give me the attention i like) to hold my interest. Sure, there are a lot "right now guys" invitations on Grindr, the majority of which I wouldn't even consider, but I have to admit: the attention is nice, and getting to chose more often, and on my own terms is a lot more satisfying than endless chat and having to work for days to get to know people. Even if that's what I make other people do myself lol.

 

[hotbtminla]

... Even if that's what I make other people do myself lol.

I agreed with your whole post but this last sentence made me LOL because yuuuuppppp...

 

[LPSG Simon]

I agreed with your whole post but this last sentence made me LOL because yuuuuppppp...

I know!!! hahaha

So often, the guys you're interested in wont give the time of day, and the ones who you get attention from seem dull as dishwater. This is actually the strange thing about apps in general, it's an endless wheel of frustration this way I've found. IDK what's different about it: is it because you still see them hanging out there over and over? Im sure there's some really neat semiotics and media theory here. I wonder what Marshall Mcluhan would think about hookup apps?

I guess bars and cruising can be just as frustrating, but I dont get the same lingering frustration with those scenarios. Maybe it's that the timing to score is a bit more present, whereas with apps you could work for weeks and still come up empty handed, while being reminded by the attention from the latter group that the possibility is there and just not appealing? Something about the half-way getting to know, vs full-date or fully anonymous dynamic just seems to get the wheels stuck in the mud a lot more often.

 

[Jordan88]

Thanks, I read through a bunch of the blog posts here most were trashing the apps they did not like so I guess my question should have read which ones do people like would recommend and why.

I don't really think there's any good apps out there to be honest...

Not really a matter of the apps being trash (though all will have different bugs / lack features). It's the users are trash. Who cares about the person at the other end of the conversation when I'm hiding behind a keyboard. I can call them fat, call them ugly, call them too skinny, call them dumb, send them to a fake address, invite them to my building and not tell them what unit/intercom is to waste their time, demand that they send photos while I never send any back.

All this is with no repercussions, because you'll never find me anyways.

 

[LPSG Simon]

I don't really think there's any good apps out there to be honest...

Not really a matter of the apps being trash (though all will have different bugs / lack features). It's the users are trash. Who cares about the person at the other end of the conversation when I'm hiding behind a keyboard. I can call them fat, call them ugly, call them too skinny, call them dumb, send them to a fake address, invite them to my building and not tell them what unit/intercom is to waste their time, demand that they send photos while I never send any back.

All this is with no repercussions, because you'll never find me anyways.

Or talk your way into their home and rob / assault them, and block you on the way out the door.

These things can all happen in any context though. That's why I always go with a bit of a de-anonymizing protocol. Ie: if I dont have your phone number and I haven't seen your face, you're not coming over / vice versa.

I also have a buddy who I send a message with the address etc... where Im going. We have an understanding whatever time of day etc... that it's important to let people know where you're going if you're meeting stranger for an interaction that's (let's face it) putting one in a vulnerable position.

I actually wish more of them had a verified profile protocol. With all of the stories out there, I find it shocking that they haven't done this.

On the other bad behaviour though, it's the same thing that gives people a tacit pass to be assholes to others. You see it on FB, Twitter, even here on LPSG. (Media theory again) we think we are reaching out through a screen, but the screen is actually reflecting ourselves back at our own gaze, and therefore communication technology is a solitary experience, which means people give themselves permission to say anything they want as if it was only for the satisfaction of their own selves with no repercussion.

 

[1348084]

Or talk your way into their home and rob / assault them, and block you on the way out the door.

These things can all happen in any context though. That's why I always go with a bit of a de-anonymizing protocol. Ie: if I dont have your phone number and I haven't seen your face, you're not coming over / vice versa.

I also have a buddy who I send a message with the address etc... where Im going. We have an understanding whatever time of day etc... that it's important to let people know where you're going if you're meeting stranger for an interaction that's (let's face it) putting one in a vulnerable position.

I actually wish more of them had a verified profile protocol. With all of the stories out there, I find it shocking that they haven't done this.

Same here. If I'm meeting a random guy off of Grindr etc I always screen cap the profile and send all details to a close friend. For safety reasons.

@hotbtminla hit the nail on the head earlier when he referred (at least I believe I was "the poster above to whom he referred" ) about fake profiles on Grindr.

What I will comment on is the security features amongst the apps. Grindr has the least secure features. It has improved by adding SMS confirmation but it still (i my opinion) is less secure than Scruff.

Scruff has always been more secure, in my opinion. They check IP address etc.

Grindr ... they only have the phone SMS check. But a burner phone gets around that. I've had incidents where I've been verbally abused on Grindr for no reason and I have reported the profile, blocked them and they have created a new profile to harass me.

Grindr is getting better but I still don't feel safe there.

 

[deleted10549591]

I use Hornet, Romeo, Scruff, Surge is stupid, Grizzly stupid

 

[Rei Hino]

Bump