It isn't a put down unless you mean it to be. And even then, it is only a put down if you perceive it to be insulting.
It's not about me. It's about having a little consideration for the feelings of those around me.
Using your logic, it should be perfectly fine to call black people "niggers" to their faces; if they perceive the word to be insulting, well, then that's their problem, right? No. In order to be civilized people, we need to have some sensitivity to how others perceive our actions and our words.
So unless a part of you thinks that being gay is somehow wrong, someone calling you gay is usually more of a correct / incorrect issue.
Now it sounds like you're trying to convince me that using "gay" to describe something negative isn't an insult at all. Get real.
I don't think that being gay is wrong at all. What's wrong, in my opinion, is using the word "gay" to mean "stupid" or "undesirable". Luckily, it seems to be mostly limited to school-age dialogue and/or those with a limited vocabulary. The downside is that those young people who are struggling with their sexual orientation hear the word "gay" used negatively day after day, and it's hurtful to the majority of them. There are very few gay kids who aren't bullied at some point growing up because they're perceived to be homosexual. Why make it worse for them?
At least it is here and that is what I'm trying to say. Different countries really are DIFFERENT COUNTRIES.
That's fine, although I doubt you speak for the whole of England. I do know that in the U.S. and Canada, most gay people aren't real keen on hearing the word "gay" being used to describe something stupid.
Also why refer to gay people as a group? For everybody to accept each other everybody needs to STOP accepting each other. Accepting implies there is something negative or alternative to "accept". If people stop reffering to themselves with pointless labels and separating out into other people in "their group" rather than just blending en masse there would be nothing to segregate.
It's delusional to think that there aren't differences between people. We do affiliate with certain groups, whether we're part of the majority or part of a minority. The experience of growing up gay is still quite different from the experience of growing up straight, and being gay leads to different experiences as an adult than being straight does. The experience of being Jewish is different from the experience of being Catholic. Being black is different from being white or brown.
The labels aren't pointless. They reflect the reality of who we are and with whom we affiliate. What are you going to say next - that's there's really no difference between an American and an Iranian?
It took me a long time to realise that the instant you stop trying to be accepted and fit in is when you really fit in. I'm just wondering when other people will do the same.
Believe me, I don't lose sleep over this issue, but I have no problem pointing out that I and many others are troubled by the use of the word "gay" to describe something stupid or broken when it also describes me. I can't think of any other words that have a double-meaning quite like that.