Gay Bar Hook Ups

[michorizo86]

So..I just recently went out to a gay bar for the first time with some of my girlfriends, two of whom are lesbians. Though I enjoyed checking out all the hot guys, I was really nervous about approaching any of them. I have a fair amount of confidence and love to chat it up, but I don't know all the rules that come with the gay bar scenes. For example, I bought a couple of guys drinks that I thought were cute, but how do I find out if they are top/bottom/vers, etc?

Any tips are appreciated. I'm sure once I've gone out a few more times, I'll get the hang of it..but I wanna get some next time, so lemme know how you guys get it, ha

 

[B_Nick4444]

ask

 

[D_Rod Staffinbone]

i second that, just ask. you might say "hi" first and introduce yourself.

 

[karldergrosse]

I don't know of any hard-and-fast especially gay rules that are very different from any other just plain socializing...not at first, anyway. To begin with, many people, I think, consider being bought a drink too soon, without their agreement, to be pushy, smacking of trying to buy obligation. First, pick out someone you're interested in, introduce yourself, and start a conversation (but best not, in my opinion, with the cliched "Do you come here often?'). It's that simple. You'll both soon know without having to spell anything out whether you are mutually interested...those signs are universal. If both of you are, you might move the conversation into a more intimate area by relating a favorite experience or two. If he's interested in a hook-up, he'll listen and will most likely respond with one or two of his own. That way you will each learn what the other expects...though if you are both flexible, such probing is not really necessary. The two of you should have no real trouble working out a mutually satisfactory session. ~ However, if either of you is not interested, don't waste too much time--politely disengage yourself as soon as you can and go on to the next prospect. Works for me--hope it works for you. ~ Happy hunting!
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[Say hello to Austin for me--it's been a good while since I last saw it, one of my all-time favorite cities.....]

 

[BiItalianBro]

All i can add like everyone else is ask. Feel them out with chit chat and see if they are even into the hook up thing. If someone is interested in you...even for just the night...you can tell. That's when you start to probe (no pun intended) as to what they are into. Just keep in mind that bar convo is about as deep as a birdbath and in no way give you insight into how someone ticks.

Now...I am sorry if this is 'Big Bro' but I have got to say it: for chrissake be careful....and I am not just talking about 'bagging the groceries' (condoms). Try and take care of yo' business in a neutral area like a cheap motel or something; if you go to their place you give them the home court advantage and if things get out of hand, you are at their mercy. Inversely, if you take them to your crib and they turn out to be a Fatal Attraction psycho, they know where you live. Second, shoot a text to a couple friends letting them know where you are going. Third, bring with you need for the night out and thats it....dont bring a wad of cash or your best bling.

I dont mean to sound paranoid...but there are some sick mutherfuckers out there (remember Matthew Sheppard?) and bars tend to attract some types that are not at the top of the character food chain. Other than that...keeping in mind it is what it is...have fun and get it out of your system while you are young =P.