"Gay" bar vs "Straight" bar

KTF40

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A couple months back I went to a gay bar with a friend of mine. It was my first experience and in all likelihood my last. I was a little underwhelmed frankly. But this thread isn't about that.

What this thread is about though is an observation pertaining to the bar area where they serve drinks. It was pretty empty. Not to mention, the cover charge was pretty high (don't recall the exact amount but like between 15-20$ I believe). This leads me to believe there wasn't much drinking going on at these kinds of places.

This is in contrast to your typical "straight" bar, where the bar area is always crowded and it's often a struggle to get the bartender's attention due to the overwhelming amount of customers. (At least at the places I've been to for the most part).

Now my question is, assuming this is the case and my broad generalization that there isn't much drinking going on at gay bars is correct, why the difference in "straight" and "gay" bars?

I have my own feelings on the issue, but feel free to add your own opinion.
 

AtomicMouse1950

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I was invited to a leather bar. I didn't know the person very well, that invited me. I was newly gay(out), and I did not know what to expect? Maybe because of my nervousness, at the time, but I didn't really enjoy myself all that much. I haven't been to any gay bar since. Plus, I'm not a drinker.
 

rbkwp

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Maybe
its because we dont need to impress the ladies with how Macho we can be.

Just an observation and opinion, from years ago in Auckland and Sydney Specific Gay Bars, never really considered there were Straight bars, tbh

How can you tell??
 

KTF40

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you make one visit to one gay bar and draw broadstroke conclusions....? sheeeesh

No, I didn't do that at all. Read a little closer. I said "assuming this is the case and my broad generalization that there isn't much drinking going on at gay bars is correct", which clearly implies what I think is an assumption that could also be incorrect.
 

B_cockluv10

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Gay bars are as varied as straight bars. So there wasn't a lot of drinking in that bar on that night at that time. A different night or time might have left you with a very different impression.
I used to hang out at a bar whose clientele was mostly construction workers. It was very blue collar and on weekdays if you just wandered in off the street you would never know it was a gay bar unless someone started hitting on you. On Friday and Saturday nights, though, the power drinkers and flamboyant queens came out of the woodwork.
 
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The function of going to gay bars to cruise has been replaced by apps and websites. The use of gay bars as a place to hang out with friends is still popular, but if you are meeting a diverse group of friends why pick a gay bar? Some bars pop later at night...after midnight. Ten years ago, gay bars were pretty packed. Gay bars I've visited in the past year or so have been shockingly dead. Straight bars might have a few more dynamics involved...and those dynamic might make them appear more active.
 

Willifred

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I'm really not fond of our American friends using the, 'I had this happen, so..' or the 'Now, my question is,' approach, it's all a little too Dr Phil.

But yeah, gay bars are sometimes busy but sometimes they're not. As are straight bars too.
 
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OCMuscleJock

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I disagree...big time. Rarely ever see fights at gay bars...drinks are less expensive and MUCH stronger. Also, gay bars are much cleaner in the bar area and bathrooms.

there is no difference in bars other than the obvious mix of clientele. there are all sorts of bars catering to all types of people - gay or straight

you make one visit to one gay bar and draw broadstroke conclusions....? sheeeesh
 

KTF40

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It appears I described the "gay bar" incorrectly. It was actually a gay dance club.

They claim to be the largest gay dance club in DC. I went there on a saturday night and it was packed. And as I said before, the bar area was pretty empty relative to most "straight" bars/clubs I've been too. So not buying the idea of it being "not busy".

Here is a link to the place so people can get an idea of what to compare it to in their own area just for the purposes of the thread discussion Town Danceboutique | Home
 

NicholasSommerby

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I disagree...big time. Rarely ever see fights at gay bars...drinks are less expensive and MUCH stronger. Also, gay bars are much cleaner in the bar area and bathrooms.

Eh, depends on where you go. I've been to gay bars to where drinks where hell of expensive and not really that strong. Same thing with the whole bathroom comment too...I've seen some really dirty looking bathrooms and bar areas in some of the gay bars I've been to, and I've seen some almost completely spotless ones in the straight bars.

It's just as varied all around. It's not so much the orientation that sets them apart as just the person who owns the bars that you go to. There are "dive" bars in the gay world, and there are the well known ones that are pretty bad in other ways. Some have karaoke, some don't, and some have different types of shows that they do while others don't.
 

TrueShot

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Step 1: Fall asleep in all science classes.
Step 2: Have personal experience.
Step 3: Make impressions and form anecdotes from said experience.
Step 4: Voice this as if the limited perspective is exhaustive.
Step 5: Become defensive when others challenge a limited perspective with other limited perspectives.
Step 6: Repeat steps 2 through 5.
 
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Infernal

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I find that bars are bars for the most part. There are always some nice people, and some pricks in every crowd. I found that I never really had the patience for the social games that go on in gay bars. The fake looks, the chit chat, the smile to your face and daggers behind your back, the narcissistic S&M (stand and model) boys. Maybe things have changed since I went last, but since I rarely drink it wasn't a problem to just not socialize there.
 

dude_007

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It isn't the case and your broad generalizations aren't correct.

Slurper had it right. There are all kinds of bars, gay straight and otherwise. You cannot make generalizations from one night at one club in one city.
 

Exbiker

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Gay bars are quite diverse.

As are gay people.

Around London, I'd say gay places are on average busier than straight places.

And gay people possibly drink slightly more alcohol than average.

But it's not a competition :wink:
 

jzac18

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Here in Sydney the main gay area is Oxford Street, with many gay owned and operated clubs, which I feel more than happy and safe to visit.
We also have Kings Cross here, which is all straight bars and clubs. I very rarely go to that area as homophobic acts are more common.

There is a HUGE difference in music and in the way the staff treat you I've found. Gay clubs generally revolve around dance music with female artists rather thn straight clubs being more hip hop, RnB etc.
The alcohol consumption proabably goes hand in hand with the use of illicit substances which is commonly found in the gay community... We also seem to drink "girlier" drinks.
 

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I'm guessing that you compared a dance club with a bar. One was straight and one was gay. Dance club customers are there for the music, the shows, the dance experience etc. and only secondarily to drink. Bar patrons would be firstly looking to talk, meet people, drink and (maybe) get a bit sloshed.

There are both gay and straight bars and dance clubs of course. I don't think I would draw conclusions like yours from the fact that one was gay and one was straight. I think it was because one was a bar and one was a dance club.

It wasn't always like this.

The gay scene back in the day produced unique artists and amazing music that could not have exploded from any other scene. The early years of Disco were sexy, underground and represented a radical "melting pot" blend of black "funk" and gay "dance/Broadway" culture later blended together with Euro-synth productions from Georgio Moroder. This was the exciting period just before the Bee Gees turned it into white pop music with Saturday Night Fever. At that moment disco crossed over from the gay sub-culture to the mainstream. In the late 80's DJ's playing the big gay clubs had to find a new sound - House Music was invented.

I do think the high point of the great gay clubs of the late seventies and early eighties is very much over, (Studio 54), but bars are perennials I guess. I think that in Europe and some other places the big dance clubs of the 90's and early millennium were popular with people who preferred to take "E" and other drugs rather than drink. (This could explain the higher door charge and few drinkers at the bar).

At the same time as the rise of party drug culture there was a breakdown of the separation of gay and straight social scenes. In the 70's it was unheard of for a straight person to be found in a gay club. In those days the gay clubs were often male only or female only. Now, from 30~50% of the crowd in a "gay" club would be straight/bi whatever, rather than "gay" identified. The mega clubs of Ibiza and their imitators don't seem to want to fall into a "gay" ghetto - I think this openness is a generally good thing for club culture - not so sure about the impact of the drugs.

These days, although club culture is still huge, it's core is no longer centred on the gay scene. The drivers of the old gay scene, the need to hook up, the need for secrecy, the need to show off and the need to drink and socialise in the ghetto have been replaced by other venues and media and, of course, The Internet Changes Everything.

So I hope you are willing to try another gay bar or dance club in the future, but keep in mind, these days you'll find plenty of straight couples and singles there as well. Get to know some of the bar staff at whichever bar you normally go to and ask them for advice on where they would go. Hospitality staff always know all the best scenes - where do you think they go after work?