Gay bars and travel

kr8zy

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I travel a lot. It's almost always by myself, for a weekend. Sometimes I want to meet new people when i travel.

I usually find it pretty easy to talk to people when I travel. But sometimes I want to talk to other gay guys. Not trying to hook up or cruise or anything like that - just have a conversation. Yet the one problem I always have is striking up conversations in bars. It seems like if you aren't there with friends you are stuck by yourself. People will stare right at you and won't even acknowledge you. Especially in a busier place, for instance if they have Karaoke (I always seem to find Karaoke night every time even though I hate it!) or some other event going on.

How do you get people to start having conversations. Conversely, if someone new came to your local hangout, how would you want them to introduce themselves?
 

Brodie888

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You'd probably have more luck going on the gay aps and chatting with people, then agreeing to meet up with them and their friends at a club than going into a club by yourself.
 
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kr8zy

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The problem with the apps is that it takes a day to catch up to you, and so by the time everyone starts replying to you, you are already back at the airport.
 

kr8zy

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What would be cool would be an app that also had a way to put in your upcoming travels and maybe a discussion board where you can post for upcoming places you will be.
 

Brodie888

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What would be cool would be an app that also had a way to put in your upcoming travels and maybe a discussion board where you can post for upcoming places you will be.

You can search in a desired future location already with some.
 
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You can go to the gay bar early for happy hour and chat with the bartender. Usually the bartender will be friendly and chat with others and then next thing you know you have a group conversation going on. It's easier to make conversation when the bar is not super filled.
 

OKCLane

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What would be cool would be an app that also had a way to put in your upcoming travels and maybe a discussion board where you can post for upcoming places you will be.

You can use Squirt for this.
 

OKCLane

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This may seem silly but talk frankly with you friends. Ask for their help. Ask for their honesty. Do some role play with them.
Take a public speaking class at your local community college. Take an acting class perhaps you have a “look” that isn’t friendly or open.
Years ago I was the director of a center that employed 3000 people. I was always rushing from here to there, one meeting to another. I learned that people were afraid of me because I walked by them and had a frown on my face. It was a revelation to me. I thought I had a neutral expression and I’ve never been a small talk sort of person.
So I took an acting class. It was more terrifying than delivering speeches to huge groups. I could give a speech to a couple thousand people and not lose sleep. Doing a “performance” in this 20 person class made me nauseous. I have advanced degrees but this class taught me more than many of the classes I’ve taken.
How you carry yourself says a lot about you. You give off signals both consciously and unconsciously, you just have to learn how to master and control the unconscious ones.
I had a job where I traveled two weeks each month. Read the local paper. Be able to discuss current issues but avoid divisive topics and temper your opinions.
Good luck.
 

takethecurve

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What would be cool would be an app that also had a way to put in your upcoming travels and maybe a discussion board where you can post for upcoming places you will be.

You could kind of do this on adam4adam
 

Tomas26

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I know Scruff lets you post upcoming travel locations and dates, and lets you search for guys in that area to chat up/plan with in advance. Works quite well. I’ve used it when planning trips and have been contacted by lots of guys about to visit my area.
 
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