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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Beachboy19, Mar 22, 2009.
How old were you and him? And how did you meet him?
Don't have one yet. Still looking !!!
I was 20. He was three years older and had had a previous boyfriend in L.A. before moving east. I was already married, but he and I managed to get together on a regular basis. My wife and I were the supers for a small apartment building, and he was one of the student tenants. Our first sexual encounter (my first ever with a guy) was in the hallway of the apartment building. Sucking cock proved to be even more exciting than I had anticipated it would be. I was hooked.
My first crush was at 7. I guess I was already a butch top because he liked to be my "wife" and pretend he was shopping by bringing canned food from the kitchen to the room we were playing in.
My first official bf was at 14. He was a little older. We hung out for four years.
I'm a bachelor now, and available.
I had a regular jack off/suck buddy from 8/9 years until 16.5 years. Lots of sex with lots of members of my own sex around my own age and many adults, too.
But my first long-time MAJOR love was a fatally romantic man 22 years older than me whom I met just before I turned 19. He was fucking stunning. Natural black curly hair that he kept combed as straight as possible down past his shoulders. Thick, black moustache. Bedroom eyes that made me melt. I really loved the guy and we stuck together solidly for more than two years until I realized I was just a replacement for his previous lover of 6 years who had broken his heart and moved to New York. Call me dumb, but he was a good mentor regarding being one's own person and gay during a time when the Stonewall riots had yet to happen. But after 3 years of being "accidentally" called "David" (the name of his previous lover) than by my own name . . . well, I began to feel sorry for the guy. And this sense of pity I felt for him changed my romantic love into the parternal love one has when caring for a family member who is terribly ill.
Of course, all of his friends who knew his previous lover insisted I looked like the previous lover's twin. And of course when we finally met neither the previous lover or I could see any resemblance between us.
Regardless, I owe that older man a great deal of thanks for helping me (corny, I know) "self-actualize" myself, learning to ignore the bitchiness that erupts in all people (not just gays) and to care for those less fortunate than me. But he also suffered from the worst broken heart I've ever witnessed. Call it depression or personality dependency -- what ever -- but he really carried a torch for his 6-year lover before me. And one day he left a bunch of notes, personal letters to friends, and instructions on what to do making certain that his long-time best friend, and not me, would find him dead. He took a gun and put in his mouth, but not before covering everything around him with sheets of plastic paint covers.
Despite the eventual tragedy -- yet another learning experience -- he was a major class act. Looking back at most of the three years we spent together is like trying to remember a lush, opium-induced romantic world that no longer exists. Did I mention he was stunningly handsome? Oy!
My awakening did not occur until I was in the my 30s, married and with children. I had seen the man who would become my first BF on Bigmusclebears.com and later ran into him on Manhunt (he was in his early 40s). We dated for a year and a half before he decided to dump me over email.
Since then I have divorced, played and met the man of my dreams. All things in time.
My first boyfriend was when I was 17; he was the reason why I came out to my parents, school and everybody else who didn't already know. It didn't last long, as neither of us really had much of a clue about how our bodies worked and what would give us pleasure.
About six months later, I met a guy and eventually moved into his apartment right after high school. That was even more disastrous than the first, and was all over but the crying in about two months. A similar thing happened again about a year later. I was 20 before I had anything like an adult approach to romantic relationships, and 24 before I really made it work for more than 18 months.
I was always much more successful with fuckbuds. Without the pressure of "deep feelings" fucking everything up, I just bonded and enjoyed the sex for as long as it lasted. Sometimes it was a month or two, several went on for more than a year, off and on. In hindsight, I wish I'd valued those relationships more without trying to find "true love" with unlikely suspects. My life would have been very different.
hmmm I met my first and only bf when I was 26...two months after i started messing around with guys. I decided to keep him... going on year 12 in November. *I think thats like 320 straight years* Never really went thru the gay dating drama...THANK GOD!
Oh ...and I met him on Gay.com. Odd thing was... he had no profile...no pics...just a name and wouldn't talk in the room..but always there. For some reason I HAD to talk to him...dunno why. He ignored me for 2 weeks... talked online for another 2 weeks till I got him to talk on the phone...so shortly after that I got him to come to LA to meet me for dinner and I never let him leave.
Never had one.
I first seduced another boy at the age of 13 - I guess he was kinda sorta my first boyfriend, even though he was basically straight and had no idea he was my boyfriend
After that I fell in love with another straight boy about 17-18.
Then met my first boyfriend when I went away to University at 18 and another boy asked me out. It only lasted a month and we only had sex once, because I realised I really wasn't into the guy at all - I'd only said yes to his date request because it was such a novelty.
My best friend and I both fell for each other when we were about 10 but didn't make love until we were both 14. He's still my best and truest male friend, although I'm more into girls at this point in my life. The love between us has only grown with time.
I haven't had one yet. All I've had is a handful of encounters. Most were one night that planned to have a second but never did. A couple involved travel so they were longer than one night but still no follow up. The closest I've come is one of the guys I traveled to visit who lives in TX. We spent almost a week together a few years ago and have continued to talk online and occassionally on the phone since. He considers me to be his boyfriend even though I've done my best to make it clear I don't consider it to be a relationship. So I haven't had a boyfriend but apparently I am one, lol.
My first is the man I am with now. I met him 3 years ago we were neighbors then we moved to Denver as roommates he got a job out of state for 4 months and when he got back we decided to be together. We have been together for two years.
I was 36 he was 28
I was 30, he was 23. We're still together 7 years later!
I met my first and only BF on guys4men.com 4 years ago. He was the first guy i ever messaged and we've been together ever since.
Why arent you dating now w/ him then?
Let's see....I was 24 and he was 21. I met him on the old school newsgroups. He was coming to my hometown for an internship and wanted to know someone before he got there. We talked for a while and when he got here, we thought it'd be an interesting idea to date.
That turned out being a mistake at the time. We still talk sporadically.
I was 12 and he was 13. It started out as the experimenting thing but after a year of experimenting it was clear to both of us that it was a lot more. We grew up together attending the same church. The relationship ended when I went to college (he stayed in small town USA). I met other people (guys and girls) in college and moved on. Looking back I think it really hurt him. We eventually both got married. I see him occasionally when I am back in town. We make small talk but it is very strained.
OMG that's why I love this site...thought I was the only pervy youngin' out there!!! :biggrin1:
I was in K when I had a tawdry affair with this girl named Frances Lee...but when we were taking swimming class, this kid named Zack blew me away in the changing room lol. I was a conflicted five year old.
Fast forward to high school (all-male, Catholic HS) and I had a number of crushes...but that was NO environment to act on them. My first real male-male relationship happened my Soph year of college with a bi curious friend I fell head over heels for. It ended badly....and I learned...allot.