Gay Black Men

Saint Raphael

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I LOVE black guys! Besides being one myself, I honestly don't know what it is that truly fascinates me and has me infatuated with so many of them.

Assuming you mean just sexual experiences, most of my mine have been with black guys and they have been overwhelmingly good (one of my "faults" is that I'm ridiculously selective to begin with). I'm versatile, so I'll usually top guys that are younger and (physically) smaller than me, but bottom for guys that are physically bigger and/or stereotypically more "masculine" for lack of a better term. (To this point, all of the guys I've bottomed for have been DL or self-proclaimed "str8 curious".)

I'd say a solid 80% of the guys I've been with have been at least 8". I've topped some 22-23 year old "kids" that were packing serious wood. Both the longest (9.5") and girthiest (7" thick) guys I've been with were black.

The best sex I've ever had was actually the second time I bottomed, and that was with a 26 year old DL guy (who I'm sure had a girlfriend). He was over 8" and was very fleshy. He was gentle yet assertive and had an amazing stroke. The sexiest part was that he forced me to maintain eye contact with him the whole time. It was a bad decision that luckily didn't amount to anything bad, but we were bareback and it was quite amazing to feel him cum inside me while staring deep into each others eyes. I may or may not have fallen in love lol.
 

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I LOVE black guys! Besides being one myself, I honestly don't know what it is that truly fascinates me and has me infatuated with so many of them.

Assuming you mean just sexual experiences, most of my mine have been with black guys and they have been overwhelmingly good (one of my "faults" is that I'm ridiculously selective to begin with). I'm versatile, so I'll usually top guys that are younger and (physically) smaller than me, but bottom for guys that are physically bigger and/or stereotypically more "masculine" for lack of a better term. (To this point, all of the guys I've bottomed for have been DL or self-proclaimed "str8 curious".)

I'd say a solid 80% of the guys I've been with have been at least 8". I've topped some 22-23 year old "kids" that were packing serious wood. Both the longest (9.5") and girthiest (7" thick) guys I've been with were black.

The best sex I've ever had was actually the second time I bottomed, and that was with a 26 year old DL guy (who I'm sure had a girlfriend). He was over 8" and was very fleshy. He was gentle yet assertive and had an amazing stroke. The sexiest part was that he forced me to maintain eye contact with him the whole time. It was a bad decision that luckily didn't amount to anything bad, but we were bareback and it was quite amazing to feel him cum inside me while staring deep into each others eyes. I may or may not have fallen in love lol.
Damn all that is very hot!
 
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I’ve had different experience than Saint Raphael. They weren’t all that in bed. A lot of black dudes let the bbc fantasies go to their heads and they get gassed up. I can’t recount the number of times a black guy will call his 6 inch dick a “bbc”. There’s nothing big about 6 inches. I think there’s a difference in interactions between two black men vs a black guy and a non-black guy. My sexual experiences with non-black dudes have for the most part been better than with black dudes. They were more open to new experiences, were down to kiss, treated me like the fem slut that I am (lol) and weren’t obsessed with being DL and being “bruhs”. Maybe if I leave the US, the black dudes from other countries might be better. I think it might also be the excitement and curiosity of having someone from another race, similar to how white bottoms obsess over black dudes even if the black dude is only giving him mediocre/trash dick.
 

Saint Raphael

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I’ve had different experience than Saint Raphael. They weren’t all that in bed. A lot of black dudes let the bbc fantasies go to their heads and they get gassed up. I can’t recount the number of times a black guy will call his 6 inch dick a “bbc”. There’s nothing big about 6 inches. I think there’s a difference in interactions between two black men vs a black guy and a non-black guy. My sexual experiences with non-black dudes have for the most part been better than with black dudes. They were more open to new experiences, were down to kiss, treated me like the fem slut that I am (lol) and weren’t obsessed with being DL and being “bruhs”. Maybe if I leave the US, the black dudes from other countries might be better. I think it might also be the excitement and curiosity of having someone from another race, similar to how white bottoms obsess over black dudes even if the black dude is only giving him mediocre/trash dick.
I agree with your point about Black guys letting fantasies go to their head, but I personally think that has to do with the stereotype of Black guys being sexual gods more so than it does thinking they have a “bbc.” And yes, there is also definitely a difference in interaction between two Black guys vs. a Black guy and non-Black guy.


For starters, the racial component isn’t even a factor in the first dynamic, whereas it might be a significant basis for the second. As I mentioned, the majority of the Black guys I’ve been with definitely fit the “bbc” stereotype, but only one of them has ever mentioned it in our interaction. (He admittedly sleeps mostly with non-Black guys, so that explains how that came about; I was a departure from his usual.)


I also agree with what you mean about a lot of Black men not really being open to new sexual experiences, kissing, etc.; that has been my experience too. Only two guys I’ve bottomed for let me rim them - for what they said was the first time - and they both stopped me after less than a minute because they said it made them uncomfortable. I’ve only actually deeply kissed one them (the abovementioned guy who mostly sleeps with non-Black guys, so that also probably explains his difference in mentality to this point as well).


To be honest, I don’t think you’ll find a much more “open” attitude among Black men abroad than you will in the US; perhaps similar or a slightly more open in Europe, but certainly not in Africa, or among the Black diaspora in the Caribbean and Latin America.


I’ll leave your points about DL, “bruhs”, and fem guys alone, as that’s an entirely different cultural matter altogether.
 
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I LOVE black guys! Besides being one myself, I honestly don't know what it is that truly fascinates me and has me infatuated with so many of them.

Assuming you mean just sexual experiences, most of my mine have been with black guys and they have been overwhelmingly good (one of my "faults" is that I'm ridiculously selective to begin with). I'm versatile, so I'll usually top guys that are younger and (physically) smaller than me, but bottom for guys that are physically bigger and/or stereotypically more "masculine" for lack of a better term. (To this point, all of the guys I've bottomed for have been DL or self-proclaimed "str8 curious".)

I'd say a solid 80% of the guys I've been with have been at least 8". I've topped some 22-23 year old "kids" that were packing serious wood. Both the longest (9.5") and girthiest (7" thick) guys I've been with were black.

The best sex I've ever had was actually the second time I bottomed, and that was with a 26 year old DL guy (who I'm sure had a girlfriend). He was over 8" and was very fleshy. He was gentle yet assertive and had an amazing stroke. The sexiest part was that he forced me to maintain eye contact with him the whole time. It was a bad decision that luckily didn't amount to anything bad, but we were bareback and it was quite amazing to feel him cum inside me while staring deep into each others eyes. I may or may not have fallen in love lol.

Just curious: The longest guy (9.5") and the thickest (7") you've been with... Did you actually measure them?
 

Saint Raphael

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Just curious: The longest guy (9.5") and the thickest (7") you've been with... Did you actually measure them?
No, I have their self-measuring pictures, which appear to be accurately done.
 
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I agree with your point about Black guys letting fantasies go to their head, but I personally think that has to do with the stereotype of Black guys being sexual gods more so than it does thinking they have a “bbc.” And yes, there is also definitely a difference in interaction between two Black guys vs. a Black guy and non-Black guy.


For starters, the racial component isn’t even a factor in the first dynamic, whereas it might be a significant basis for the second. As I mentioned, the majority of the Black guys I’ve been with definitely fit the “bbc” stereotype, but only one of them has ever mentioned it in our interaction. (He admittedly sleeps mostly with non-Black guys, so that explains how that came about; I was a departure from his usual.)


I also agree with what you mean about a lot of Black men not really being open to new sexual experiences, kissing, etc.; that has been my experience too. Only two guys I’ve bottomed for let me rim them - for what they said was the first time - and they both stopped me after less than a minute because they said it made them uncomfortable. I’ve only actually deeply kissed one them (the abovementioned guy who mostly sleeps with non-Black guys, so that also probably explains his difference in mentality to this point as well).


To be honest, I don’t think you’ll find a much more “open” attitude among Black men abroad than you will in the US; perhaps similar or a slightly more open in Europe, but certainly not in Africa, or among the Black diaspora in the Caribbean and Latin America.


I’ll leave your points about DL, “bruhs”, and fem guys alone, as that’s an entirely different cultural matter altogether.

But I think the bbc and sexual god stereotype are the same thing no? People don’t say “black bottoms are sexual gods” they say “black tops are sexual gods” - and this is connected to their bbc.

Also since most of the black guys you’ve been with fit the bbc stereotype is this because you prefer hung men? Are you a bottom? Do you seek these men out online/apps where you can easily see how hung they are before you meet them?

I think that the black diaspora is slightly more unplugged from the matrix than black Americans but the issue still persists. We deal with a lot of annoyances in the US because we’re surrounded by white people, and the US produces the majority of interracial porn that relies on stereotypes from slavery. Other countries have this issue but I don’t think it’s as bad as it is here given my travels abroad and my experiences.

I think the DL, “bruhs” and fem guy points are connected to why black men usually are lackluster and experiencing new things in bed because it connects with their “masculinity” and what they would consider to be feminine.
 

Saint Raphael

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Yes, BBC and "sexual gods" are related to a large degree, but the latter more so has to do with actual performance/stamina, irrespective of size. Think of it in the same way how a lot of people view Black men as having "swag", a certain air about them and the way they carry themselves, regardless of what they're packing below the belt.

I've ended up with mostly hung guys due to sheer luck (if you can call/consider it that) to be honest. Although I'm versatile, I have a preference for topping, so the thought of me bottoming for a hung guy isn't even remotely a fantasy of mine. I'm not experienced enough as bottoming to have that desire as of yet. As I mentioned, I'm very selective, so I go based solely on how the guy looks. It has simply turned out that not only were they all incredibly attractive to me, it just so happened that most of them were also well hung. In fact, the very reason I started bottoming was because some of my hookups wanted more than oral and refused to budge themselves, so I took one for the team and laid on my back (lol) because I was at least open to the idea of bottoming. I have gotten plenty of nice dick pics but haven't not attracted to the body they're attached to. So that goes back to a point I made in the previous post about the "two types of guys" on apps. I definitely fall in the first category.

As for the Black diaspora being unplugged, I would use your arguments for that being the case in explaining why that actually isn't the case . I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm a PhD student of African Studies, so I do a lot of research on African and African-descended societies. (I've even just finished an academic article with forthcoming publication on Black men in str8 porn, and had the privilege of interviewing some of the top dogs in the industry :)). Overall, predominantly White societies are more liberal than predominantly Black societies (why that is is an entirely different conversation, but take a moment to reflect on the ironic nature of colonialism and lingering effects of religious missions in Africa, especially those of the Protestant and Evangelical type). Pull out a map and name a predominantly Black country with a politicized and visible LGBTQ community. Depending on how you classify race, you won't find one beyond Brazil. So if anything, in my opining living among White people has contributed to Black people in the Americas to being more liberal in the sexual realm than we would otherwise be. It is beyond taboo to even publicly discuss sex and issue below the belt and in the bedroom in so many predominantly Black societies, let alone openly talk and sing about them like is so prevalent among our entertainers here in the US. And that goes for str8, gay, and everything in between and beyond.
 
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KuronoB

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Black American guy here, and I have many thoughts!

1. I'm definitely bigger than average, and when I think about the gay or bi black men I've been with, they've all been above average except exactly one, who was noticeably below average. I can see why the BBC myth sticks around. And no, I didn't purposefully seek out hung guys.

2. Black men, overall, don't seem better or worse in bed than non-black men. But it does seem like black bottoms are better than average at bottoming, whereas black tops, despite having bigger dicks in my experience, are less good at topping. I am a versatile top, so maybe I just enjoyed the bottoms more than the tops, so my perception could be flawed. However, I have a theory: when black guys become sexually active (especially with non-black men), they are asked or expected to top more often than non-black men would be asked. This means that there are black tops who basically got drafted into being tops, despite it not really being their calling, and they might have gotten used to it and stuck with it. But the black bottoms were those who really knew topping wasn't for them, so they're more dedicated to and better at bottoming.

3. In my experience, college educated black men are more sexually adventurous and less concerned about protecting their masculinity than black men without college educations. I am college educated and run in professional circles, so most of the black men I've been with or met have been university educated or were in school at the time. These educated black men were reasonably adventurous, actually a bit more adventurous than the non-black average, and did not seem super concerned about protecting their masculinity. However, some black guys I've been with or met who were not college educated seemed to have more sexual hangups; the tops were more concerned about protecting their masculinity, but the bottoms didn't care about heir masculinity, and didn't have hangups.

4. I don't think that black men are on the DL more than non-black men. Yes, "the DL" as a pop culture term is associated with black men, so it is a high profile idea, but when you think about it, non-black men just say things like "discreet" instead of saying DL. I can't count the number of non-black guys on LPSG who talk about living a generally straight life who mess around with guys on the side, but they don't call themselves DL. When you think about all those guys, the ratio of blacks who are DL doesn't seem higher than average.

5. The black diaspora covers a very large number of people across many countries and cultures. Blacks in the USA/CAN/EU, vs, Jamaica vs, Brazil, could have very different experiences. Heck, a lot of people in Brazil don't even think of themselves as black, despite the fact that they'd be labeled black in the USA. The impact of colonialism, slavery and white supremacy are different across countries, so be careful when talking about the diaspora in broad terms.
 
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Yes, BBC and "sexual gods" are related to a large degree, but the latter more so has to do with actual performance/stamina, irrespective of size. Think of it in the same way how a lot of people view Black men as having "swag", a certain air about them and the way they carry themselves, regardless of what they're packing below the belt.

I've ended up with mostly hung guys due to sheer luck (if you can call/consider it that) to be honest. Although I'm versatile, I have a preference for topping, so the thought of me bottoming for a hung guy isn't even remotely a fantasy of mine. I'm not experienced enough as bottoming to have that desire as of yet. As I mentioned, I'm very selective, so I go based solely on how the guy looks. It has simply turned out that not only were they all incredibly attractive to me, it just so happened that most of them were also well hung. In fact, the very reason I started bottoming was because some of my hookups wanted more than oral and refused to budge themselves, so I took one for the team and laid on my back (lol) because I was at least open to the idea of bottoming. I have gotten plenty of nice dick pics but haven't not attracted to the body they're attached to. So that goes back to a point I made in the previous post about the "two types of guys" on apps. I definitely fall in the first category.

As for the Black diaspora being unplugged, I would use your arguments for that being the case in explaining why that actually isn't the case . I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm a PhD student of African Studies, so I do a lot of research on African and African-descended societies. (I've even just finished an academic article with forthcoming publication on Black men in str8 porn, and had the privilege of interviewing some of the top dogs in the industry :)). Overall, predominantly White societies are more liberal than predominantly Black societies (why that is is an entirely different conversation, but take a moment to reflect on the ironic nature of colonialism and lingering effects of religious missions in Africa, especially those of the Protestant and Evangelical type). Pull out a map and name a predominantly Black country with a politicized and visible LGBTQ community. Depending on how you classify race, you won't find one beyond Brazil. So if anything, in my opining living among White people has contributed to Black people in the Americas to being more liberal in the sexual realm than we would otherwise be. It is beyond taboo to even publicly discuss sex and issue below the belt and in the bedroom in so many predominantly Black societies, let alone openly talk and sing about them like is so prevalent among our entertainers here in the US. And that goes for str8, gay, and everything in between and beyond.

Wow that's really intriguing and I'd actually like to read your work. Are you able to disclose who you interviewed from straight porn?

I don't agree with your first paragraph at all. It has nothing to do with performance and stamina because no one says anything about black men who exclusively prefer to bottom and the performance and stamina that they may have. As gay men, we don't hear anything like, "oh wow those chocolate cheeks of a black male are just incredible, etc." It's performance based on size alone aka BBC.

As for black societies, I don't know if I agree. I agree with you that on the surface level, yes predominantly black societies/countries tend to be very homophobic and have difficulty maintaining open discussions with regards to all sexual orientations, birth control, rape, etc. However, I think on a deeper level sexuality is still very present. For example, Jamaica is extremely homophobic - though getting better and homophobia on the island is class-based as upper class Jamaicans tend to be less homophobic than lower class Jamaicans (who make up the majority of the population). However, Jamaican music, in particular dancehall, is very sexual. Caribbean Carnival in Trinidad is very sexual. A typical outfit for Caribbean women tends to be sexual with showing off a woman's curves, etc. So, I think that sexuality is being discussed albeit maybe behind closed doors. I also think that more black men are attracted to other black men and this is huge. I think less of them have qualms about actually being black and how that will affect them in a diverse society that is predominantly white. Maybe they think this way because they see and live around plenty of people that look like them - idk.

In terms of my experience as a gay black man who has not been to Africa but has been to places in Europe, the Caribbean and Latin America - I don't think that the BBC fetish is as huge or at least as blatant as it is in the United States. And I've really thought about this and I'm sure you have too hence your thread: https://www.lpsg.com/threads/do-bbc-lovers-have-black-friends.550892/#post-8936132

I think this is because I've never had someone outside of the United States come at me in a way that let me know that they want BBC or just have a thing for black men like Americans do. This only happened to me once in Spain out of the many guys who topped me in that country. And I think that it is this way because black Americans are surrounded by white Americans and their racist entitlement to black bodies. The only other country that I can see being similar to the way this operates in the United States is Brazil with their "negao" stereotype but I still don't think they are as bad as Americans. So I really don't agree with you when you say: So if anything, in my opining living among White people has contributed to Black people in the Americas to being more liberal in the sexual realm than we would otherwise be. I disagree and think that living among white people has put gay black American men in a position where they can't just be. A lot of them feel the need to fit into a stereotype. A lot of them feel the need to be accepted by a community that will never accept them fully. I think a lot of them understand the "gay totem pole" here and how blacks are at the bottom along with Asians in terms of desirability but can move up a few notches if they top. It's even more so annoying because I think that when a lot of gay immigrants move to the United States, they feel that this is the way things work in this country so they partake in this behavior. I find it ironic that I have no problem getting men and getting hookups when I travel to Latin America, but in Miami (where I have been living for years) my number of hookups are much less. I've had Latin men ask if I was Latin, I say no, they disappear because they find out I'm "just black" - mind you they are behaving this way in my country. They wouldn't behave this way where they are from.


I'm pretty sure James Baldwin
 
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Sorry, I meant to write that I'm pretty sure James Baldwin wrote about many of these things. I've already written enough for now.
 
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Black American guy here, and I have many thoughts!

1. I'm definitely bigger than average, and when I think about the gay or bi black men I've been with, they've all been above average except exactly one, who was noticeably below average. I can see why the BBC myth sticks around. And no, I didn't purposefully seek out hung guys.

2. Black men, overall, don't seem better or worse in bed than non-black men. But it does seem like black bottoms are better than average at bottoming, whereas black tops, despite having bigger dicks in my experience, are less good at topping. I am a versatile top, so maybe I just enjoyed the bottoms more than the tops, so my perception could be flawed. However, I have a theory: when black guys become sexually active (especially with non-black men), they are asked or expected to top more often than non-black men would be asked. This means that there are black tops who basically got drafted into being tops, despite it not really being their calling, and they might have gotten used to it and stuck with it. But the black bottoms were those who really knew topping wasn't for them, so they're more dedicated to and better at bottoming.

3. In my experience, college educated black men are more sexually adventurous and less concerned about protecting their masculinity than black men without college educations. I am college educated and run in professional circles, so most of the black men I've been with or met have been university educated or were in school at the time. These educated black men were reasonably adventurous, actually a bit more adventurous than the non-black average, and did not seem super concerned about protecting their masculinity. However, some black guys I've been with or met who were not college educated seemed to have more sexual hangups; the tops were more concerned about protecting their masculinity, but the bottoms didn't care about heir masculinity, and didn't have hangups.

4. I don't think that black men are on the DL more than non-black men. Yes, "the DL" as a pop culture term is associated with black men, so it is a high profile idea, but when you think about it, non-black men just say things like "discreet" instead of saying DL. I can't count the number of non-black guys on LPSG who talk about living a generally straight life who mess around with guys on the side, but they don't call themselves DL. When you think about all those guys, the ratio of blacks who are DL doesn't seem higher than average.

5. The black diaspora covers a very large number of people across many countries and cultures. Blacks in the USA/CAN/EU, vs, Jamaica vs, Brazil, could have very different experiences. Heck, a lot of people in Brazil don't even think of themselves as black, despite the fact that they'd be labeled black in the USA. The impact of colonialism, slavery and white supremacy are different across countries, so be careful when talking about the diaspora in broad terms.

I agree. I really like how you brought class and education into this for Point 3. This is my issue with gay black men in the US. A lot of them don't have the education, nor the class, and thus don't have the eager approach to new sexual experiences. It's not true for all gay black dudes but it's a trend. For Point 4 I never believe this as well. I went to a very white undergrad and a third of the guys were all discreet bisexuals with girlfriends.