Gay... but you want kids?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by SyddyKitty, Sep 14, 2007.

?

Gay and you want kids?

  1. Yes, I want kids. My partner does/should too.

    6 vote(s)
    30.0%
  2. Yes, I want kids. My partner doesn't.

    1 vote(s)
    5.0%
  3. No, I don't want kids. My partner doesn't/shouldn't either.

    10 vote(s)
    50.0%
  4. No,I don't want kids. My partner does.

    1 vote(s)
    5.0%
  5. I don't want kids and it hardly matters what my partner wants, in this case.

    1 vote(s)
    5.0%
  6. Yes, I want kids with little matter in how my partner feels about it.

    1 vote(s)
    5.0%
  1. SyddyKitty

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    Some gay men, on those online dating sites, have it listed that they want kids. Is this a common yearning for gay men?

    I personally don't want kids for a myriad of reasons:

    They are too expensive, especially if raised from infancy.

    They are too emotionally taxing - worrying about their welfare more than your own or even your lover.

    I don't have the nurturing spirit to raise a child. Rather, I have an experimental spirit in that I'd try various methods of shaping how my child mentally and physically develops in a more cold way. there isn't a book on parenthood, but I can say for sure that's not a good way to raise someone. This is the second-biggest reason for me, next to the cost. :p

    Did I mention they're expensive?

    I can't tolerate kids for even 10 minutes, right now. Not even family. They try my patience. Ever seen those parents with 3 kids and how unhealthy they, themselves, look? That'd be me with 1.

    I'm not ready, nor do I feel I will ever be, to father a child (but who is, at 21? o_O).

    Kids are EXPENSIVE! And, sometimes, the 18+ years investment doesn't pay off. :x

    That's BIG chunk out of my life. You're devoting MUCH more of yourself to this person than you would and/or could even do for your partner.
     
  2. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I prefer my cats.......angela, daisy, lily, and rose.........are those names gayenough?? LOL
     
  3. SyddyKitty

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    Pets all the way! They'll never hate you for loving them, unlike a teenager! XD

    And naw, I don't think those names are "too" gay. :p Now, something based off fragrance, fashion, fabric, or something of that sort... maybe. XD
     
  4. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    *hits the sarcasm button.*

    oh thank god... gay people shouldn't be allowed to have children, I heard in the bible that gay people like to eat children, fly around on broom sticks, and turn people to stone.

    ;)
     
  5. mindseye

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    Just as there's not much of a correlation between height and dick size (a common topic on here), there's also not much of a correlation between one's sexual orientation and one's paternal/nurturing orientation. So it shouldn't be surprising that a lot of gay men want children.

    You may find in a decade or so that you have a "biological clock" after all. ;)
     
  6. SyddyKitty

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    Please don't let that be true. ;~; Otherwise, I'll end up with like... 4 dogs and 8 cats to fill a void. XD Or something like that, should any portion of my current mindset remain. D=
     
  7. agnslz

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    I sometimes want kids, but whenever I babysit my nephews and nieces I get hit with the reality that I can't handle taking care of kids for even a short amount of time without wanting to tear my hair out!:biggrin: I'm sure if I ever do adopt kids it will be when I'm much older, so helpfully, I'd have the patience and ability to deal with them then. For now, though, I'm happy enough with the joys and frustrations I get to experience from my siblings' kids.
     
  8. D_Iskepee_Longwoodee

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    Where is the maybe?

    I at first did not want kids even though my long term girlfriend became pregnant and we almost had child. Today I would reconsider having a child if that is what my partner wanted. I however, do not want to be the parent who will not be there for the child because my partner and I have our own corporation and we are workaholics. I also do not see myself having that much free time to raise a child properly, unless a nanny is okay!
     
  9. nudeyorker

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    We are happy with my dog! and not paying school tuition etc!
     
  10. SyddyKitty

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    Oh yea, I did miss the maybe option. ;~; I want a poll edit option.
     
  11. Mem

    Mem
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    No, I don't want kids. I don't see a category for gay guys without partners.
     
  12. SyddyKitty

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    I'm without a partner, so I made the option "shouldn't" along with "doesn't" for those like me. After all, you should know what you want in a partner and I personally want one that doesn't want kids, so it counts as me saying "they shouldn't want kids".

    *pokes* D= Also, is there a way I can edit the poll to add a maybe?
     
  13. silvertriumph2

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    Do I want kids? Yes! Yes! Yes!

    I have a son already, but would like very much to have more children.
    However, I am not married at this time, so a biological child doesn't look possible at this time. I love being a father, and if I say so myself, I have been a darn good one. I would like a sister for my son.

    I have a partner who does not want a relationship including a child. My son is enough for him. But, I keep hoping.
     
  14. frizzle

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    There's always surrogate mothers and adoption to help you with it I guess, but it'll never be the same as having your own child with your partner. A depressing situation to be in.
     
  15. LeeEJ

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    I'm usually the same way with other people's kids. I only have one niece, but fortunately, she respects and listens to me (and, when necessary, does what I tell her to do).

    I think my niece's attitude is a product of what my sister teaches her and how she talks about me.

    That brings me to a reason (possibly the only reason) why I would want kids:

    I'd want to add a person to society who has the same kinds of values that I do. If I can raise a kid who's intelligent, compassionate, and generally optimistic about life, I'd be pretty satisfied.

    She's still young, but so far, I see those same kinds of characteristics in my niece. Needless to say, I'm pretty proud of my sister and her hubby.

    No, I'm not gay, but as mentioned earlier in another post, I think any orientation is capable (or incapable) of being a good parent, and I thought I'd relate my thoughts here.
     
  16. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Great thread Syddy. I was thinking of creating something like this awhile ago, but never did. I fully support gay couples having kids. I was asked by a friend to be a surrigate. And I totally would. I have no means of connection for me having a child for someone else. As my friend put it "we would have a piece of each other forever." And it's true, I would want to be in the childs life, but not as a main care giver.
     
  17. Principessa

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    You summed up how I feel perfectly. :smile:

    One of my best friends since the 2nd grade is gay and he and his husband adopted a beautiful little boy 18 months ago. He has always wanted to be a dad so when he told me they were adopting I was ecstatic! :smile: Truth be told, he has 3 straight brothers who I wouldn't trust to keep a hamster alive for a week let alone a child.

    Then again I have other gay friends who react to anyone under 21 as if they were poison oak. I swear to God they practically break out in hives. :tongue:

    As for me, I definetely want kids, and my clock is ticking . . . any healthy, donor daddys out there? :wink::tongue::smile:
     
  18. lvsxy808

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    I have no interest in having children, because I know myself too well, and I know I don't have the patience or the selflessness required to do the job properly. Neither do I have the money it requires - I make barely enough to support myself, never mind a child. My partner feels the same way.

    I suppose it's possible my feelings on the matter may change at some point in the future, but I'm not expecting them to.
     
  19. DC_DEEP

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    I have never wanted to have children. My partner already had two (in their teens) when he and I met. He does not want more.

    Your poll didn't really have a category for this... :biggrin1:
     
  20. whatireallywant

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    I also think that sexual orientation and desire/ability to raise children are not correlated.

    Many people think there is something "wrong" with me, because I am female (and straight), but have absolutely NO nurturing ability. It's a stretch for me to even take care of one cat! But really...not everyone is like me. If everyone was like me, the human race would die out! I think people should be able to have kids, if they are able mentally and financially to support them, regardless of sexual orientation. And I think that if people don't want kids, they shouldn't get flak for that, either!

    I also can't deal with the noise and tantrums (maybe because I'm an only child and was hardly ever around younger kids growing up), and don't want the expense (I have enough trouble paying the bills as it is!). I also like being able to come and go as I please without having to worry about who is going to be watching the kids and all that.
     
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