Gay... but you want kids?

Gay and you want kids?

  • Yes, I want kids. My partner does/should too.

    Votes: 6 30.0%
  • Yes, I want kids. My partner doesn't.

    Votes: 1 5.0%
  • No, I don't want kids. My partner doesn't/shouldn't either.

    Votes: 10 50.0%
  • No,I don't want kids. My partner does.

    Votes: 1 5.0%
  • I don't want kids and it hardly matters what my partner wants, in this case.

    Votes: 1 5.0%
  • Yes, I want kids with little matter in how my partner feels about it.

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Total voters
    20

ydkj_tx

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I believe the reason that *most* gay people do not want children is because they are too self-absorbed and couldn't stand not having it be "all about them". Parenting requires many years of self-sacrifice, but the love you experience and get back in return is forever. My partner and I have 3 kids (10,16 & 18) that are the joy of our lives -
 

SteveHd

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I voted no but I need to elaborate. When 30ish or so, I did, and the thoughts persisted beyond 40. But now I don't think I'd tolerate the hassle.

Kudos to Think Kink!
 

musclebutt2

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Please don't let that be true. ;~; Otherwise, I'll end up with like... 4 dogs and 8 cats to fill a void. XD Or something like that, should any portion of my current mindset remain. D=


Oh trust me, just wait. I hated other people's children since forever, but when I was 24 or so I suddenly had an urge to breed. I even picked out baby names. It has lessened now entering my 30's but the desire is still present. All my friends have told me I would make a great Papi, I think that's a good sign. Heck, I can just do the opposite of what my parental units did and end up becoming a good parent by default :rolleyes:.
 

findfirefox

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I have been told I would make a great parent...

Problem is that I don't think I have the ability to tolerate them, but I'm told that I'm just being crazy. (Whatev)

I may adopt someone someday (But I don't a baby/infant)
 

B_Chris63

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Some gay men, on those online dating sites, have it listed that they want kids. Is this a common yearning for gay men?

I personally don't want kids for a myriad of reasons:

They are too expensive, especially if raised from infancy.

They are too emotionally taxing - worrying about their welfare more than your own or even your lover.

I don't have the nurturing spirit to raise a child. Rather, I have an experimental spirit in that I'd try various methods of shaping how my child mentally and physically develops in a more cold way. there isn't a book on parenthood, but I can say for sure that's not a good way to raise someone. This is the second-biggest reason for me, next to the cost. :p

Did I mention they're expensive?

I can't tolerate kids for even 10 minutes, right now. Not even family. They try my patience. Ever seen those parents with 3 kids and how unhealthy they, themselves, look? That'd be me with 1.

I'm not ready, nor do I feel I will ever be, to father a child (but who is, at 21? o_O).

Kids are EXPENSIVE! And, sometimes, the 18+ years investment doesn't pay off. :x

That's BIG chunk out of my life. You're devoting MUCH more of yourself to this person than you would and/or could even do for your partner.

I do not want kids but did not answer the question as I do not have any boyfriend ! and having a boyfriend seems compulsory here ! je suis français et en France beaucoup de gays n'ont pas d'amis...
 

SyddyKitty

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I do not want kids but did not answer the question as I do not have any boyfriend ! and having a boyfriend seems compulsory here ! je suis français et en France beaucoup de gays n'ont pas d'amis...
Read my reply to mem0101's post... having a boyfriend is NOT required for the poll.
 

gjorg

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You will wish you had them when your older!Your kids always turn out good anyway.
 

silvertriumph2

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I believe the reason that *most* gay people do not want children is because they are too self-absorbed and couldn't stand not having it be "all about them". Parenting requires many years of self-sacrifice, but the love you experience and get back in return is forever. My partner and I have 3 kids (10,16 & 18) that are the joy of our lives -


Very well said. Congratulations to you both.
 

silvertriumph2

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Oh trust me, just wait. I hated other people's children since forever, but when I was 24 or so I suddenly had an urge to breed. I even picked out baby names. It has lessened now entering my 30's but the desire is still present. All my friends have told me I would make a great Papi, I think that's a good sign. Heck, I can just do the opposite of what my parental units did and end up becoming a good parent by default :rolleyes:.


Go for it, man! It's great!:biggthumpup:
 

dcwrestlefan

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i used to fret over this quite a bit. yeh, i think it would be cool to be a father. and think i'd be a good one.

however, this desire is cured whenever i get on an airplane, and hear screaming kids. i suddenly do not want to "go there" anymore.
 

DC_DEEP

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I believe the reason that *most* gay people do not want children is because they are too self-absorbed and couldn't stand not having it be "all about them". Parenting requires many years of self-sacrifice, but the love you experience and get back in return is forever. My partner and I have 3 kids (10,16 & 18) that are the joy of our lives -
Hmm, that's odd, I was thinking that being self-absorbed is what encourages *most* people (gay or straight) to have children... so everyone can see what a lovely product they made, and what wonderful parents they are.

I just never wanted to have children, because I never wanted to have children. To a large degree, it's based in my tendency to be a perfectionist. I resent it when I see bad parents raising bad children, and I never thought I would be a good parent (although I'm usually good with children.) For me, two things I can think of right off hand leave no room for making serious mistakes - skydiving and parenting. I have no desire for either.