Gay Closet Long Distance WTF

[thirtyseven]

I recently ended a long distance relationship with a very sincere boy. He's only out to his closest straight buddies. We broke up because the long distance was definitely not meeting our needs although the relationship itself was an excellent one in my opinion. He initiated the break up saying he is very confused and although he loves me, he is unable to withstand the loneliness of a long distance relationship. As well, he's not looking to date others at the moment.(Most likely because of me)

Some of the things he said were "I have no idea what we should do."
And "I don't know how I'm feeling about everything"

I genuinely believe everything he said is true, and to skip to the point I tried to stay neutral, and offered tips and advice for him, rather than be the upset ex-boyfriend. So I mentioned maybe he should get a gay bestfriend who is in the closet as he is who is local. I at first suggested we shouldn't speak to each other as we may develop more than just a friendship and go back to old habits. But he didn't want that. I am his only real "gay" support he has that he can trust and confide in. But also to make it clear, we want each other in our lives. Just right now is not a good time to be in a relationship with each other.

I think I have dealt with this pretty maturely, but I was wondering is there something more (or less) I could be doing? All I have done is given him space and offered him support if he ever needs it. I told him I'm not saying goodbye or hi. I'll be there if he wants to talk. I left it open so he doesn't feel forced or left behind by me. He's a real sweet kid so I was wondering what are some other advices for him?

Oh!! Please don't slam him or me. I'm obivously still in love with him but I'm not crossing any lines and will act like a friend for now.

 

[steveorleans]

I think you've done all you can do. He is the one who needs to be seeking advice on his own. Leave him be for a while and let him figure things out.

 

[erratic]

All I have done is given him space and offered him support if he ever needs it. I told him I'm not saying goodbye or hi. I'll be there if he wants to talk. I left it open so he doesn't feel forced or left behind by me. He's a real sweet kid so I was wondering what are some other advices for him?

Sounds pretty damn mature to me.

I guess the problem for you now is that you have to let him go. So he knows you're there. All you can really do now is let him make the next move. In the meantime, I guarantee you that as you get further and further from the relationship you'll start seeing the flaws in it, and where you'd prefer to be moving forward.