Gay connections with married men

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deleted15549531

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Just asking gay guys out there if they’ve ever had a regular / long term sexual relationship with a married man? Do you like it or do you prefer fully out openly gay men?
 

jaybee0560

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Just asking gay guys out there if they’ve ever had a regular / long term sexual relationship with a married man? Do you like it or do you prefer fully out openly gay men?
Used to fuck around with a married bloke years and years ago - did not end well!
Met him thru Craigslist when I was living abroad in Chicago - he was living in Pittsburg but travelled to Chicago often. Had no idea he was married. I just put an ad out to hook up - which was all I was expecting.
First meet - his plane landed late and we were meeting at his hotel in town (I was out in the burbs) had driven into the city to meet him otherwise would have just canned it when I knew he was gonna be a few hours late.
Ended up meeting up - he was pretty cute, slight muscular build, Italian, nice olive skin. Not exactly my type but hot enuff. Had a fun night, he was a pretty smart, likeable guy. Kept getting the impression he was trying to alpha dog me a bit but - we got along great so that was that.
Anyways - so after our hook up he kept emailing me so we developed a bit of a relationship - he'd come to town a bit so hooked up a few more times. Turns out, he was married, had hooked up with men on the regular before - and his Mrs was preggo ..
As things developed I notice he started getting reasonably possessive. He would always ask if I had hooked up with anyone in-between our meets (I obviously had) - I bottomed for him but - at that point, was not a bottom, didn't even really enjoy anal as a top or a bottom.. He always fucked raw and made a point of saying that he didn't mind if I hooked up with guys (which he was clearly jealous of) but just asked me to not bottom for them (wasn't really in any danger of that so - yeah fine) cos he was worried about STD's ..
We ended up getting bolder - met him in Boston for a weekend together - then he joined me for two weeks on a trip back to Australia (No idea how he got that past his Mrs)
All the time the relationship bounced between super fun and arguing over him getting pissy with me if I ever hooked up with anyone while he wasn't around. We'd even organised a small orgy type thing (5 guys us included) and he got pissy cos a) I spent more time with one of the hotter guys there than him B) the guys seemed more interested in me than him in general and he figured I was playing up to that .. whatever that means.

Anyways - this went on for maybe two years before he asked if I wanted to visit his home town and stay at his house with his Mrs for the weekend. He assured me they had a contained unit in the house and it was pretty private - which I stupidly agreed to (still have no idea why) .. anyways .. the unit was a finished basement in his house - which was mostly private but right next to their laundry. One morning he came downstairs early and slipped in with me to give me a blowie - the Mrs came down after we'd done but - I guess it looked suss .. so apparently her and him had a bit of a closed door discussion - things were obviously uncomfortable after this but he managed to talk her out of any suspicions ..we went to the football and while we were out - she went thru my gear and found a few things that he had given me taht he'd obviously taken from his house ..I left the next morning so only heard about the fallout.
Apparently he finally confessed that we had played around ..but made it sound like i was his first and it was all at my instigation .. He ran the story by me to see if I would co-operate so, which I agreed to .. his Mrs then called me with him on the call to go thru his fictional version of what happened and after than - he and I met up once more and called the whole thing off ..

Was super weird - pretty morally compromising and I'd never do it again!
 
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Well damn, there’s always a risk that for sure. Sounds like it was bumpy from the start…
 
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jaybee0560

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Well damn, there’s always a risk that for sure. Sounds like it was bumpy from the start…
It was bumpyish from the start I guess - what annoyed me most was that he was an actively married man who felt like me fucking around on him while he was cheating in his Mrs was bang out of order. At first I felt pretty comfortable just lying about it cos .. what the hell do I owe him and also I never really saw this as anything more than fucking around with a guy who was, in most other respects, a pretty decent/ Funny/Smart dude ..

Then as the whole thing progressed it got more and more complicated. You end up in a "relationship" of sorts ..not that I gave a shit that he was married or felt that it was more than a mates with benefits type situation, but I really liked him as a guy and so felt that I'd like to keep things smooth if we were going to keep seeing each other.

The wife thing was a fucking night mare tho given, she was actually really sweet and I totally get how fucked up the entire situation was.

They split up not long after all this and now share custody of the kid - He remarried and is now the CEO of a smaller company in Pittsburg - I am 100% sure he is still fucking around with men on the side. I have him on my linked in and we've chatted a couple of times but never talking about any of that .. he's in the States and I'm in Australia .. at one point he was saying his company was trying to expand out here and would I like to meet up if he came down .. Probably will!
 

Infernal

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I have had some regular fun with a few married guys over the years. One was separated from his wife and dealing with his curiosities. We fucked a few times and then they got back together. It was fun. He was adventurous and willing to try just about anything. Another was a guy in his mid 20's. We would hook up mid-week and he would want me to pound him into the mattress. It worked for both of us. One day I asked him what his plans for the weekend were and he said he and his wife were just going to do some yard work. I had no idea he was married. He loved fucking his wife but loved getting fucked long and hard as well. I was able to give him something she couldn't. It wasn't anything serious, but it was fun. I ran into the two of them at the mall one day. Literally turned around and bumped into him. Nothing was said, just an excuse me and he went on his way, but looked back a few times with a smile on his face.
 
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That situation pretty much describes me..
 

ArabicBottom

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I’ve been with a lot of married men (a lot of gay Arabs get married) and even been dating some. Sexually I don’t really care what’s his relationship status is tbh. Currently, I’m sexually active with two married men.

One is Egyptian, 32, fit/muscular with an 8” cock. He steps out every chance he gets to fuck me, we don’t get to see each other often but he gives me a lot of attention. That kinda the biggest issue, him not being able to be there because of his other obligations. But the sex is usually amazing, he dumps multiple loads since he wants to get the most out of our encounter.

The other guy is Qatari, 36, beefy with a thick cock. Meeting isn’t much of an issue to him. He would literally get out of his wife’s bed to come to mine (it happened a few times). Been seeing him a couple of years now since COVID came around. He does this thing where he’d compare me and his wife sexually, I do feel bad for her since he clearly isn’t into women but I also feel like it’s none of my business.

I also wanna mention a guy I was dating years ago. He’s Iraqi, 34 att, bearish with +9” and a high sex drive. First time met from Grindr as a hook up and he wanted more and more after that. So we started dating and being sexually exclusive (something I’d never agree on nowadays). I was seeing him all the time and he’d spend nights with me sleeping (with slot of fucking). Was just like dating any gay guy but that’s because he was working here while his wife/kids were back in Iraq. We dated a couple of months before actually telling he’s married. It wasn’t a big deal to me, I was at a point where I saw no future in dating so I didn’t really mind. But it got annoying him talking about her and stuff. He learned about my sexual history and didn’t like it (kinda hypocritical of him). It got kinda ugly and I broke up with him
 

dreambridger

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I've been with quite a few closeted married men that lead to repeated encounters -- I wouldn't quite call them "relationships" but we continued to meet up, and they were great experiences and the hottest sex I've ever had. I was a little bit hurt by one of the younger closeted guys though with the whole avoiding eye contact when I saw him in public. It's like, we had some good times and we're the only two in the grocery isle, ya can't even smile and wink at me? But the older closeted guys who had been living the lifestyle for a while were always really cool about everything.

these are generalizations, but many openly gay man have weird standards that I don't meet but closeted men don't care about, like how fashionable or financially secure I am. I never fit in much with mainstream gay culture. Also, this is just my own dysfunction and it's gonna sound bad, but I've been hurt badly in relationships with openly gay men, and the nice thing about being with a closeted guy is that I have the leverage of having their secret. They can't do anything seriously fucked up to me because I have their secret and therefore the power to ruin their life. With that sort of weight in the balance, there's actually quite an incredible mutual respect and feeling of sacredness that arises out of that which simply doesn't exist in a fully out-of-the-closet relationship.
 
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Brodie888

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At a time when I wasn't out yet, I was regularly seeing this guy in his early forties.

It suited me because I thought it was better to be with someone who had something to lose than take the risk of being outed by someone who moved around in my circles.

I have always been submissive sexually so the idea of an older, heavier, more muscular guy was perfect for me.

He had been married for twenty years, his kids were in high school. He loved his wife but the sex had dropped off over the years. Once a month if he was lucky.

But it wasn't just the frequency issue. He felt that he couldn't fuck his wife in the way he could fuck me.

Sex with me was always very physically aggressive and forceful. He loved to bite and choke and command me to say what he wanted as he fucked me.

After about six months I was sad when he ended it. He said it was getting too real and he had to put his family first. Something I always remembered from that point on.
 
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keiser_soze

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I’ve had encounters with married men in the past specifically for the reason they have a lot to consider and loose. However I do not consider my self a gay man. I enjoy women more than men in many ways but i still enjoy being submissive to a guy. I find it easier to be involved with a mostly straight guy who’s happy in his current life and not looking for someone to share his with. And the whole STD issue is taken much more seriously with men who are married.
Years ago I met a recently out of the closet single guy who was a few years older than me and even though he respected my wishes 100% I knew he was looking for a boyfriend. He had the biggest dick I’d seen up until that point and absolutely loved letting me slurp it down all night. After a few of those encounters we ended up drinking too much for him to drive home so he stayed over. I had told him once that if it ever came down to it I would want to bottom. I had never at that point. He was sitting on the couch with me bobbing up and down on his stick for probably the 4th time that night when he said he wanted to fuck me. It took some patients but he ended up banging me all night, and I ended up cumming 3 times. After that I had to walk away from him because he and I simply wanted different things with different people. We tried to remain friends but shortly realized we had nothing in common.

Maybe 2 years later I met a married guy who just wanted head. He was also older and had other men in the past “service” him. He was completely honest about what he wanted and was willing to give right upfront. He in turn complained to me about gay men wanting more from him that he could not give. He was a fairly dominant, verbal and very respectful. He had one thing he insisted on and that was that I swallow. He said he required that his load be swallowed every time. He never said why but did say his wife would never. When I told him I never had before he said he would love to get together but I needed to think about it and let him know. Through our endless emails I was confident he was clean because he repeatedly told me he was looking for one guy for this purpose and would not do random. I believed him. We met up about a week later after he kept emailing me asking if I was thinking about what he required with pics of his fat dick. Swallowing took it to a whole other level of submission for me and it was hot! I was meeting him a couple times a week for half an hour or so and we had some real hot times.
 

theplayerking

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What part of hooking up with married men do you like most about?
The sex can feel edgier and more transgressive. A lot of gay guys (myself included) hook up so much that the stakes can feel low after a while. I’ve always feel an extra charge when I’m with someone I know is married to a woman.
 
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