Gay cuckold, alpha/beta, triad situation and question

[rjmoody]

I posted this on an old thread a week or so back, but decided to put it here in my community:

I am a small dick gay bottom, older (50). My husband is 40, hung, total top. We have been married ten years and love one another. The sex got stale and he asked to open up sex for a bit. I agreed, but mostly for him as he is younger, and I wanted him to have some more fun. He developed a "stable" of four guys, all under 25, all muscular and hot. One guy spotted me as a weak beta bottom. He set out on a conquest.

Fast forward--after a few months a muscular, hung, 23 yo marine was my husband's full time boyfriend and my sex was cut off. My husband stopped getting hard for me after we opened up. Now the 23 year old views me as a total submissive to him (he is 6 2, 200 and I am 5 8, 160) as well as to my husband. He sleeps over a day or two a week and I am in the guest room. My husband sleeps at his place once a week. The young stud targeted me and set out on a conquest, one he is winning, at least sexually. No, he has won the sex. My husband fucked me for two minutes last weekend and went soft. I see the marine trying to make an emotional connection to my husband as well, and he is making progress.

This weekend my husband told me he was going to focus on the marine and I should get used to the guest room. He said he loves me and that we are forever, but that the sex with the marine is amazing and they are falling for one another. I like the marine, and he likes me, but it is clear I have my place. Nature determines who breeds. I opened it up and the guys in their 20s who wanted an older, hung top daddy set out to demote me to secondary. There were 5-10 guys who were after my husband, even hitting on him in front of me in bars. One guy kissed him and grabbed his dick while looking at me. They left together 15 minutes later.

The marine is 8.5 inches, beautiful, muscular, bubble ass, and motivated. I am convinced he will move in this summer when his lease expires at the end of May. The only question that remains is where he will sleep.

We all know the answer...

So I am headed for poly, a poly v to be specific, with my husband as the hinge and me as the sexless mono sub.

I am keenly interested in thoughts, advice, etc. Honestly, I feel very secure in my loving relationship with my husband. I do not fear losing him. Am I crazy? I need some good gay advice.

Pics are posted on my profile.

 

[Nthngless]

I'm actually concerned. I'm not extremely familiar with these types of relationships but it seems like you are getting the shorter end of the stick here. It doesn't seem like a polyship... it seems more like it's an open one and it's benefiting the other man.

If I read this correctly, your partner isn't even sleeping in bed with you anymore? I find that quite strange because you are his main person to be with. There is no amount of sex that would make me section off my main lover from me.

If you feel secure in your relationship with this man, I would offer to get a bigger bed so you all can fit in it or find ways to have you more involved in this relationship. It seems like you are being put out by the way side. Have you and your husband develop any type of rules for your relationship, or are you just letting him do what he wants?

 

[rjmoody]

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it.

I sleep in the bed with my husband when the marine is not here, which is most nights. My husband and I are affectionate but not sexual right now. He has not sectioned me off emotionally in any way. I think we have separated sex and love for now, which is a very "guy" thing to do.

We do have rules and we communicate a lot. At the beginning he asked if I would be ok if something developed into a boyfriend situation, and I said sure, not thinking it would really happen. So I share blame here.

What is not certain is whether or not a guy (the marine) would move in. We have not had that discussion yet. Let me be clear: the marine would move in if it was offered. So far, no such offer is on the table, but I am watching closely.

The marine does message me sometimes via text. He has respect for me, I think, though he also suggests that he is after my husband for something longer term. He intimidates me a bit, but I respect him and enjoy it when he is here, even though when there is sex, I am not involved. Or even viewing.

My husband knows the marine wants LTR. So far my husband has not said the same thing. So far...

 

[rjmoody]

Bump.

 

[WCM3201983]

The whole triad thing can be a little tricky.
When I was 19-20 I had my first boyfriend, and he was a pushy overbearing prick. I was a 120lbs 5'3" 19 year old kid.
And he more or less bullied me into doing cuckold. His FIRST bull would come over and just talk shit to him the whole time while he got ontop of me. And the guy was rough and big, it was not enjoyable for me.

And I really got that my BF was enjoying it in that he enjoyed being talked down to and it was some kind of punishment for me.
It got to the point that I would have three guys in a night and one of them actually told me I should leave the guy because it was clear that it was hurting.

 

[rjmoody]

Yea, that sounds like it is not fun at all. Ours is nothing like that. There is respect for everyone.

The whole triad thing can be a little tricky.
When I was 19-20 I had my first boyfriend, and he was a pushy overbearing prick. I was a 120lbs 5'3" 19 year old kid.
And he more or less bullied me into doing cuckold. His FIRST bull would come over and just talk shit to him the whole time while he got ontop of me. And the guy was rough and big, it was not enjoyable for me.

And I really got that my BF was enjoying it in that he enjoyed being talked down to and it was some kind of punishment for me.
It got to the point that I would have three guys in a night and one of them actually told me I should leave the guy because it was clear that it was hurting.

 

[MisterB]

OP--You have described quite the interesting relationship. IF you like being humiliated and emotionally abused, then it sounds like this is the perfect situation for you. IF you don't, well, that's something you'll need to work through. Because none of us here on LPSG are present for all the day-to-day and night-to-night dynamics, I think it is difficult to weigh in with any meaningful advice.

I try to see things from differing perspectives. However, as someone who would never tolerate another human being "walking all over me", in any way, all I can say is that your postings have made me sad. You have posted "your story" in at least three threads now. That's what has made me think that you are quite bothered by the current status of your relationship and insecure/uncertain about its future. And that's understandable. Unless you get some kinda enjoyment posting about your "predicament". Then that's another story for another day.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT NOT TO BE HAPPY. And unless I'm misreading your posts, you don't strike me as happy in your relationship right now. And the only person who can truly make you happy is YOU.

I sincerely wish you well and hope things work out to your satisfaction.

 

[rjmoody]

Yes, there is some insecurity.

 

[Samantha Hopkins]

I was in a steady relationship with a really great guy. I was thrilled. He wanted to explore stuff and have people, guys and girls sleep with us, him or me. I didnt want any part of it. I was still very nervous about passing in public and I desperately wanted a normal couples relationship so I could have some basis for not considering myself a complete freak show.. He pushed this for a while, and I slowly relented.

The first few experiences were awkward. Basically I blew a few of his straight friends in our living room while he watched. It really turned him on and we would have marathon sex after they left. After a few weeks, what I learned is that married guys were really into me. We would hook up with a couple, he would do the wife, and I would do the husband. It was a surprise and exciting to be wanted by straight men that way. After we were invited into a couple of swingers club, and a few key parties later, I really became comfortable with having sex with strangers. I was enjoying it.

One night my BF brought his boss home from work. He is a great guy, in his 40's married. After way, way, way to many drinks, we all ended up in bed together. To our surprise he had a monster cock. it had massive veins and was uncircumcised. It didn't look real. It actually grossed me out at the same time, I wanted him inside me. I ended up doing a few more shots, lubed up, put a condom on him and spend the next 30 or 40 minutes trying to get him inside of me. It was pure agony and yet I needed it to happen.

Finally I got down on him, and was just frozen. Any movement would send shearing pain through me. After a while I was able to sliding up and down on him, very slowly and carefully. After a dozen careful strokes, he said "Sam, you gotta stop,it feels way to good. I think the condom broke". What had actually happened was that the condom was totally unrolled and he was so far inside me, that it just came off inside me. I fooled around trying to get the first condom out of me and to seem sexy putting another another condom on him. It was awkward.

He was fully inside of me and after a few minutes we needed to stop again, because the damn rubber had peeled off and was floating around inside me. Being smarter this time, I just left it inside me and put another condom on his massive prick. We started at it again, and by now the booze was hitting me, and my body had accepted his massive as a part of me. He told me when the condom came off, and I told him to be careful, like a teenage girl to her boyfriend. Before long I was in total heaven. It still hurt quite a bit, but it was a good hurt if that makes any sense.

He finally tells me he is going to cum. This distant voice in my head says I need to get off of him but I hear my own voice saying "shut up and fuck me". Then his cock gets so hard in me that In think it will come out my belly button. I can feel him cumming in me and I just explode all over him. It was totally amazing. It was incredible. I was a crying babbling idiot. I didnt even say good bye. After I finally rolled off of him I balled up in the fetal position, sticky and wet from his cum, wondering what the hell had just happened to me. It was earth shattering.

After that night, my boyfriend didn't say much. Finally we talked it out and he was pissed because not only did I let his boss cum inside of me, but I seemed to enjoy myself too much for his liking. I told him it was the booze. I tried to make it up to him and then finally got mad and told him this was all his idea. It was never the same after that night. We broke up. Got back together, broke up again.

The lesson I learned is that the threesome thing changed the power dynamic in our relationship. At first he was doing me a favor by treating the massively insecure and totally neurotic cross-dresser like a real chic. When he discovered other guys not only wanted me, but could really rock my world he got pissed.

I have shared boyfriends and have been shared by boyfriends since, but its a very delicate process. Once something happens, its hard to take back. My gut says it will never go back to normal.

 

[rjmoody]

It will never go back to normal, no doubt about it. Once the dick is out of the pants, so to speak, it does not want to go back. I can already tell he is going to do this indefinitely. He can get guys so easy, especially young ones.

He has the bf, the other night it was a 20 year old who dropped by to blow him. This week he is visiting his FB for a night. Today and tonight is the hung bf.

I let it happen. It is my belief that I can reel him in when I decide to do so. But I am not so sure.

I was in a steady relationship with a really great guy. I was thrilled. He wanted to explore stuff and have people, guys and girls sleep with us, him or me. I didnt want any part of it. I was still very nervous about passing in public and I desperately wanted a normal couples relationship so I could have some basis for not considering myself a complete freak show.. He pushed this for a while, and I slowly relented.

The first few experiences were awkward. Basically I blew a few of his straight friends in our living room while he watched. It really turned him on and we would have marathon sex after they left. After a few weeks, what I learned is that married guys were really into me. We would hook up with a couple, he would do the wife, and I would do the husband. It was a surprise and exciting to be wanted by straight men that way. After we were invited into a couple of swingers club, and a few key parties later, I really became comfortable with having sex with strangers. I was enjoying it.

One night my BF brought his boss home from work. He is a great guy, in his 40's married. After way, way, way to many drinks, we all ended up in bed together. To our surprise he had a monster cock. it had massive veins and was uncircumcised. It didn't look real. It actually grossed me out at the same time, I wanted him inside me. I ended up doing a few more shots, lubed up, put a condom on him and spend the next 30 or 40 minutes trying to get him inside of me. It was pure agony and yet I needed it to happen.

Finally I got down on him, and was just frozen. Any movement would send shearing pain through me. After a while I was able to sliding up and down on him, very slowly and carefully. After a dozen careful strokes, he said "Sam, you gotta stop,it feels way to good. I think the condom broke". What had actually happened was that the condom was totally unrolled and he was so far inside me, that it just came off inside me. I fooled around trying to get the first condom out of me and to seem sexy putting another another condom on him. It was awkward.

He was fully inside of me and after a few minutes we needed to stop again, because the damn rubber had peeled off and was floating around inside me. Being smarter this time, I just left it inside me and put another condom on his massive prick. We started at it again, and by now the booze was hitting me, and my body had accepted his massive as a part of me. He told me when the condom came off, and I told him to be careful, like a teenage girl to her boyfriend. Before long I was in total heaven. It still hurt quite a bit, but it was a good hurt if that makes any sense.

He finally tells me he is going to cum. This distant voice in my head says I need to get off of him but I hear my own voice saying "shut up and fuck me". Then his cock gets so hard in me that In think it will come out my belly button. I can feel him cumming in me and I just explode all over him. It was totally amazing. It was incredible. I was a crying babbling idiot. I didnt even say good bye. After I finally rolled off of him I balled up in the fetal position, sticky and wet from his cum, wondering what the hell had just happened to me. It was earth shattering.

After that night, my boyfriend didn't say much. Finally we talked it out and he was pissed because not only did I let his boss cum inside of me, but I seemed to enjoy myself too much for his liking. I told him it was the booze. I tried to make it up to him and then finally got mad and told him this was all his idea. It was never the same after that night. We broke up. Got back together, broke up again.

The lesson I learned is that the threesome thing changed the power dynamic in our relationship. At first he was doing me a favor by treating the massively insecure and totally neurotic cross-dresser like a real chic. When he discovered other guys not only wanted me, but could really rock my world he got pissed.

I have shared boyfriends and have been shared by boyfriends since, but its a very delicate process. Once something happens, its hard to take back. My gut says it will never go back to normal.

 

[622675]

I had a good friend (now passed) who would constantly caution me about making pronouncements about other people’s relationships. He would tell me, “you don’t go to bed with them at night so you don’t know how they connect”. For the most part he was correct.

However, it is clear that you do not now have the kind of relationship with your husband that you once did, or one that you would choose to continue.

Forget about reeling him in. Based on your description of his appetite for other guys and his willingness to subject you to roommate status, there is little of value to reel back in.

You need to see your self as the resident doormat you have become, get mad, and get out if possible. If you are legally married, (even if you are not) this is the time you start working with a lawyer and an exit plan.

 

[rjmoody]

I appreciate the comment, Levi. It is something to consider and I shall. But I need to talk with him before I start down that path. Love is hard to find and if you love someone, I think you always will. Maybe I have not communicated enough about how I feel.

Thank you.

 

[CUBE]

You aren't treated well and not happy. Fuck that noise. You deserve better

 

[622675]

I appreciate the comment, Levi. It is something to consider and I shall. But I need to talk with him before I start down that path. Love is hard to find and if you love someone, I think you always will. Maybe I have not communicated enough about how I feel.

Thank you.

Like my friend said, I don’t know what connections you and your husband have now or have had at other times in your relationship.

I do know that love is ultimately a product of interpreting how the other person treats you. That is the only real way you can know that the other person loves you.

You can love memories, but they are history. And you can love hopes (aspirations), but those are vapor until they actually happen. Either way these love strategies lead to delusion when they do not reflect what is actually occurring.

You mention that you need to talk to your husband before making a move. Sorry, but there is no reason that you should need to communicate the injury your husband is sending your way.

Were he to be standing on your foot or burning you with a match, would you need to make him aware of the pain? If he is this oblivious to you now, it is difficult to believe he will ever become that person who voluntarily treats you like you want to be treated (this is love)?

 

[malakos]

I know it sounds over simplistic, but I think you need to talk to your husband about the dynamic that has developed, how he feels about it, and how you feel about it, and pay attention to of what consequence that is to him. If you two do still in fact love each other, and if your emotional bond is still solid, and if you're comfortable with being the sexless cuck, then maybe it could work out. Or maybe there are improvements that could be made. Like your primary relational status as the husband being reaffirmed. And/or you being allowed to sleep with others as well.

If, however, your husband's emotional attachment to and care for you is indeed slipping as others above seem to suspect (I'm not sure and am more inclined to take your word for it), then of course that would be a cause for great concern.

 

[rjmoody]

We talked. At length, very openly and honestly. We both love each other very much and reaffirmed that. Our emotional bond is solid. He noted that I have always been submissive to him, and that he has always been in charge. True. And he says that dynamic has worked and we have both been fine. Also true.

He said this is just taking it to another level, and that he wants to experience some young studs while he still can. He said I allowed this and also said it would be ok if he had regulars. He is right.

So I agreed to be the sexless cuck, to continue to submit to him and also to his boys. He says ok to sex with others with his permission. Last night I was denied and today he was hitting on the guy I wanted (he is 32). I have no doubt he will get him, humiliating me subtly in the process. When we used to play together my tops always ended up bottoming for him and the hung guys eventually ignored me. So really nothing has changed.

Bottom line, we love each other, I know my place, that was reaffirmed, and he has the power. And it's all good.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Those are all make-believe categories, nobody here can answer any question about what came out of your own creativity.

 

[rjmoody]

Make-believe? If so, then life is make-believe. Say what you will. Married is a make-believe category applying your logic.

Those are all make-believe categories, nobody here can answer any question about what came out of your own creativity.

 

[amazzzed2]

I was in a steady relationship with a really great guy. I was thrilled. He wanted to explore stuff and have people, guys and girls sleep with us, him or me. I didnt want any part of it. I was still very nervous about passing in public and I desperately wanted a normal couples relationship so I could have some basis for not considering myself a complete freak show.. He pushed this for a while, and I slowly relented.

The first few experiences were awkward. Basically I blew a few of his straight friends in our living room while he watched. It really turned him on and we would have marathon sex after they left. After a few weeks, what I learned is that married guys were really into me. We would hook up with a couple, he would do the wife, and I would do the husband. It was a surprise and exciting to be wanted by straight men that way. After we were invited into a couple of swingers club, and a few key parties later, I really became comfortable with having sex with strangers. I was enjoying it.

One night my BF brought his boss home from work. He is a great guy, in his 40's married. After way, way, way to many drinks, we all ended up in bed together. To our surprise he had a monster cock. it had massive veins and was uncircumcised. It didn't look real. It actually grossed me out at the same time, I wanted him inside me. I ended up doing a few more shots, lubed up, put a condom on him and spend the next 30 or 40 minutes trying to get him inside of me. It was pure agony and yet I needed it to happen.

Finally I got down on him, and was just frozen. Any movement would send shearing pain through me. After a while I was able to sliding up and down on him, very slowly and carefully. After a dozen careful strokes, he said "Sam, you gotta stop,it feels way to good. I think the condom broke". What had actually happened was that the condom was totally unrolled and he was so far inside me, that it just came off inside me. I fooled around trying to get the first condom out of me and to seem sexy putting another another condom on him. It was awkward.

He was fully inside of me and after a few minutes we needed to stop again, because the damn rubber had peeled off and was floating around inside me. Being smarter this time, I just left it inside me and put another condom on his massive prick. We started at it again, and by now the booze was hitting me, and my body had accepted his massive as a part of me. He told me when the condom came off, and I told him to be careful, like a teenage girl to her boyfriend. Before long I was in total heaven. It still hurt quite a bit, but it was a good hurt if that makes any sense.

He finally tells me he is going to cum. This distant voice in my head says I need to get off of him but I hear my own voice saying "shut up and fuck me". Then his cock gets so hard in me that In think it will come out my belly button. I can feel him cumming in me and I just explode all over him. It was totally amazing. It was incredible. I was a crying babbling idiot. I didnt even say good bye. After I finally rolled off of him I balled up in the fetal position, sticky and wet from his cum, wondering what the hell had just happened to me. It was earth shattering.

After that night, my boyfriend didn't say much. Finally we talked it out and he was pissed because not only did I let his boss cum inside of me, but I seemed to enjoy myself too much for his liking. I told him it was the booze. I tried to make it up to him and then finally got mad and told him this was all his idea. It was never the same after that night. We broke up. Got back together, broke up again.

The lesson I learned is that the threesome thing changed the power dynamic in our relationship. At first he was doing me a favor by treating the massively insecure and totally neurotic cross-dresser like a real chic. When he discovered other guys not only wanted me, but could really rock my world he got pissed.

I have shared boyfriends and have been shared by boyfriends since, but its a very delicate process. Once something happens, its hard to take back. My gut says it will never go back to normal.

I'm glad that you had such a great sexual experience, but sad that your boyfriend was jealous, and handled the situation so badly.
Obviously, men are attracted to you.
You are very smart and insightful. Especially about the power exchange.
That is one of the most important parts of any cuckold relationship.

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Make-believe? If so, then life is make-believe. Say what you will. Married is a make-believe category applying your logic.

Humans can't be categorized into alphas or betas. That's no better than putting on a fursuit and calling yourself a wolf during sex. It's just a fantasy.