Gay Culture, Brunch And Binge Drinking

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deleted5493

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I’m curious of folks who hang with mostly or some group of gay friends and their individual and collective relationships with alcohol.

I made a conscious effort in my late 20s to meet new gay friends through sports leagues and other social outlets. Many of them are great people with fantastic qualities. Most are in the their early to middle 30s. I’ve noticed through the years that even those these people are well into adulthood they spend most of their entire weekends getting drunk and going out. Drinking Friday, Saturday brunch, drinking the rest of the day and again on Sunday. This is of course not to say people shouldn’t do what they want or that people are alcoholics. But I do think the normalizing of the sort of “college age” drinking habits well into middle adulthood that gay culture has adopted a lot of can be harmful.

just wondering other gay men’s experience with this culture. It seems pretty rampant in the big cities I have lived.
 

Capitolhillguy

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I like gay movies and tv shows but bemoan the fact that so many of the characters always have a cocktail in their hand. The Eastsiders was un watchable because of it for me. I used to go to discos all the time and never ever bought any drinks.
 

CatcherMark

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I find many of my gay friends drink alot, but I also know many gay health conscious athletic vegan-type guys. I think on average, I would say my gay friends drink more than my straight friends. I think that is because gay guys don't have children with wives, and therefore are free to party more. If my straight friends didn't have children, I think they would drink as much or more as my gay friends. Just my anecdotal experience, I don't really think gay guys act fundamentally differently than straight guys, or even women necessarily. There is a alot of cultural pressure to drink in general, and for a lot of people it's a fun easy way to have fun and relax.
 

winesthel945

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Having hung out with plenty of straight people, I can tell you that gay people don't drink any more or less than anybody else. If anything, you're more likely to see ridiculous excess around expensive "bottle service" in swanky straight clubs than I've ever seen in gay clubs. Alcohol is indeed a social lubricant, reducing inhibitions. But for a lot of gay people going to gay bars, at least in the days before the apps, the bars and clubs are about making connections with people for sex and relationships. Getting shit-faced makes that difficult. For straight people, while there's some hooking up, the drinking is the major goal.

Just beware of extrapolating your personal experiences onto the entire culture. The idea of going to a club and *not* having a drink in your hand is, in my experience, extremely far from the norm to the point of something that would stand out to anyone in your company.
 

Trekrider

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I find the whole club and alcohol culture repellent as well as being incredibly artificial. Nothing is more of a turn off than someone who is drunk. The gay friends I hang out with do stuff like work on cars, go to nude beaches, or hike in national parks. None of us drink alcohol.
 

MuscledHorse

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I am in the minority in the gay world--less so in the str8 world--in that I don't drink, smoke or use recreational drugs. Gays have a huge attachment to alcohol, as well as substance abuse (T anyone?). In fact, when I worked at Disney in the late 1990s, I learned the drink sales records at Pleasure Island (may it RIP) were mainly held by gay days, not new years eves. I attribute this to a life long being told you are immoral, inferior, a bad person, etc. so the only way they can let that side of themselves out is through this array of substances. Here in the Bible Belt, you see this among str8's frequently as well, since they too are told natural drives--especially where sex (and even masturbation) is concerned--is evil and sinful and they are bad people for desiring it.

I credit avoiding those pitfalls to the fact I discovered sex early and masturbation even earlier, so that by the time I stared hearing the 'sinful' rhetoric associated with physical desires, i knew it to be a load of crap and mainly ignored it. The fact no one questions the logical failings of sexual doctrine astounds me. Sex is dirty and sinful, unless it occurs between you an the one special person you have become monogamously joined with in marriage, and then it expresses your true love for each other. So wait, sex is dirty and sinful and then it somehow magically transforms into the ultimate expression of pure Love? Never mind that in the animal kingdom, sexual monogamy is the rare exception rather than the rule.

I hear all the time from guys how they see that I am casual about my body being naked in front of others or having sex with another guy, even if others are watching, and how they wish they could be that confident and free as well. And the more I've herd this, the more I have realized it's not confidence they lack, it's overcoming the mental block of guilt and shame they have been raised with that stops them. If you step back and look at culture, males are consistently raised to be ashamed of their bodies, embarrassed about their cocks, and guilty for having a libido. Alcohol and drugs become the coping mechanism for damage the Xian church has done to their psyche under the banner of "morality", though it can offer no rational basis fo the position beyond a couple verses from a several thousand year old pre-scientific book.

All that said, I do enjoy a good brunch, especially if i am the one that didn't have to cook it.
 

cedarizzo

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I think a lot of the alcohol use by gays has to do with gay bars used to be one of the few places we could meet and feel safe. This was long before the internet and cell phones. We used to refer to the gay bar we went to as our gay church. We would go there, feel safe and not worry about not being accepted. Our friends were there.

Being gay also wasn't as accepted back then. Alcohol and drug use and suicide were more common for gay people. We've come a long way, but there is still a long way to go.
 
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keenobserver

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Some nice replies here. Partying is not gender specific or orientation specific. We party, we drink, we do it often - everyone does it often. People start to ascribe habits to groups because they follow those habits and are oblivious to what others are doing they don't see. Generalizations are usually wrong over time. I don't drink or party like I used to. My tastes have changed, what I tolerate has changed. I see much younger family members doing the same type of partying I did at the same time in my life. Most are straight, BTW, but a few are gay. Don't look at the group, look at the individual.

As the culture changes people's habits change. Gay bars in my lifetime used to post look outs to warn about raids, because you could be arrested for dancing with a person of the same gender. When safe havens were found they became critical - there were limited places we could safely go. That has changed - we've changed.