gay culture.....WHY?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by handcuffsfan4, Mar 26, 2008.

  1. handcuffsfan4

    handcuffsfan4 Active Member

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    i don't know if this is the right place to put this, but I'm fed up with it. why is it that guys that aren't macho get called gay? I'm sorry if i offend any one by this, but gay guys need to see that just because a guy is into fashion or looking nice, doesn't mean that hes gay. i don't know how many gay guys start hitting on me because i flat iron my hair or dress nicely. but the thing that ticks me off the most is, "You just don't know that you are gay yet." i think that i would know if i was gay, and I personally don't have a problem with gay people, or whatever you are, but i have a problem with the whole stereotype that makes me gay because i care about how i look and treat women with respect. i just kinda want to know why people think like this.
     
  2. nubian

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    because people are stupid.
     
  3. handcuffsfan4

    handcuffsfan4 Active Member

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    i guess so. i just thought there would be an actual reason or something.
     
  4. nubian

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    People fear what they don't understand and feel the need to push other people down in order to feel better about themselves.

    I've never been the average guy and I'm OK with that.
     
  5. hottcjimmyv

    hottcjimmyv Member

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    Conversely, as a "straight acting" gay guy (except for that whole sucking cock thing) as I have come out recently to friends from high school, their collective reaction has been, "no, you're not" including some gay friends.

    I understand your frustrations in a "photo negative" sort of way.

    Nice schlong, by the way.
     
  6. Sinnerly

    Sinnerly Member

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    There's never an actual reason why people take the easy route without knowing it. Sorry. Stereotypes, though they seem based in truth, are hurtful and wrong.
     
  7. handcuffsfan4

    handcuffsfan4 Active Member

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    thanks. and i guess that makes alot of sense. i wonder where the whole thing came from.
     
  8. hottcjimmyv

    hottcjimmyv Member

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    lol, i don't know either dude; I think that bastards are baiting me to prove i'm gay by blowing them!
     
  9. deano-uk

    deano-uk Active Member

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    Reckon it all comes down to the stupid thinking of some people, to say people are light on their feet - means gay why? bet they have nice nets (as in net curtains) if a couple of guys live together (gay or not but look after their place).
    People or that generation well more of a group- well guys actually - are probably of the group who will say I don't use deodorant, or I haven't changed my socks or pants for a week and find it acceptable. - They somehow think this makes them straight - well possibly but stinky..

    Guys should take care of themselves, look good, care for their skin, hair and body. Being sensitive to people is a good thing, we can all act hard when we need to or want to, but not all the time.

    some people seem to think wanting to be clean, smell good, well dressed and have a tidy and well mannered approach to life is a feminine thing, as opposed to ????? dirty male pig thing??? - I reckon some people are just programmed in that way. WEIRD!!!

    Carry on your life how you want to live it, be it straight, gay or bi, look how you want to, who would you rather sit next to on a bus or train, a stinky macho (so called) guy or a clean nice smelling presentable guy...

    ANSWER TO THE WEIRDOS - Fuck em!!!
     
  10. horneyoldguy

    horneyoldguy New Member

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    Agree 100%
     
  11. handcuffsfan4

    handcuffsfan4 Active Member

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    haha thanks
     
  12. midlifebear

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    Curious. Is it just gay men or men you perceive are gay who treat you this way or straight/straight-acting men, too?
     
  13. handcuffsfan4

    handcuffsfan4 Active Member

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    its pretty much anyone. i have had old married men and also women treat me weird because of it.
     
  14. midlifebear

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    Interesting. Then I'd regard you as I did the glam rockers and cross-dressing Goths who were/are straight. There's always been a segment of society that seems to be somewhat androgynous. Most members of that segment eventually change. Eddy Izzard, the genius straight cross-dressing comic comes to mind. He's now gone to the other extreme. Wait long enough and the dominant culture will define you for themselves; examples are "hippies," "X geneteratio" "Y generation" "metrosexual," etc. You may not agree with their eventual label, but trust me, if you are unique enough and there are others like you, you'll end up with a label so society can deal with itself as it deals with you.

    Just seems to be the way it works.

    So much for "the low spark of high-heeled boys."
     
  15. MuscledHorse

    MuscledHorse Well-Known Member

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    It's called stereotyping and the media helps it along (see Jack on W&G or that annoying queen on Lifetime. I'm a masculine gay jock and endure everything from the "you don't act gay" right on down. I don't fit any of the stereotypes: I hate drag shows and bars, don't listen to/worship judy/marilyn/madonna, etc., am masculine but a bottom rather than the assumed top, etc.
     
  16. slate_australis

    slate_australis New Member

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    Horse is right - it's stereotypes.

    I dress well, but I was with a gay friend who's very "obvious", and some girls sat down at our table and we were chatting. One of them leaned into me and said "OK, he's gay. But you're not are you?" OK, I'm not techinically "gay", but close enough for the argument.

    We still fall into those ridiculous attiudes that if you're well-presented and well-spoken, clearly make an effort in your appearance... you're gay. But it's not possible to be gay or bi and like sport, cars, action movies.
     
  17. Domisoldo

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    :baby:

    Equal Opportunity Stereotyping at last!

    We've come a long way!
     
  18. Rendell

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    Good topic handcuffs. Most of the comments here are right on. The reason that other people have to attach 'labels' to people and/or things is because of several things and most of the time it is out of their own fears, insecurities (insecure in being who they are) and guilt. And out of this they feal they must develop on on way to cope with it and how they are going to choose to relate to you and/or the situation as it pertains to them.
     
  19. Rendell

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    The key in all of these situations is how you choose to react to them. You seem to be on on very mature person and I hope that this helps. One thing I have always maintained in my life is that the way I relate to others is like amirror. I can only see in them what I have myself experienced. Don't be fake, Be real and they will respect you for it :)
     
  20. ausmaxx

    ausmaxx Member

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    People make assumptions sometimes. I don't think they always mean anything by it. I realise that doesn;t make it okay, but people are people. I'm gay and noone ever believes me, same as an earlier comment. I get hit on by some really hot girls sometimes and they don't realise. I'm flattered. You can worry about it or be complimented when someone fancies you. If they are totally outside your reality, gay or straight, never mind... it;s their issue that they don;t see you in context.... an possibly their loss, cause they may have missed out on making your friendship.

    Peace and patience.
     
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