Gay 'cure'

[chrispy]

I've just watched the new X Men film and it got me thinking, if there was an injection that could make a gay man into a straight man, how many gay people out there would take it? I think if asked three or four years ago my answer would probably have been yes, but these days i wouldn't even consider it; i don't think my boyfriend would be very pleased. What about anyone else?

No way! Having been out since my middle teens, I find that I get away with things that most straight people wouldn't dare (I guess the straight people I have known figure I am a big old perv, so they don't expect much!)

I love being gay!

 

[NovaBone]

Uh... I had no idea we were still stuck in the year 1968.

 

[BarebackJack]

No. However I would be 100% in favor of a pill, shot, or tonic that would "cure" heterosexuals of the asinine stupidity and bigotry that makes them believe that we should all be like them.

Oh wait... I have the answer! Burn bibles.

 

[Novaboy]

I love being gay too. I can be as serious as I want to be or totally outrageous and get away with it! The goal should not be to become straight, but to change the attitudes of the biggots etc. so that nobody would want to change.

If the biggots really felt that gayness was a disease, then they would, at the very least, feel compassion for us and not hatred. You don't see groups of people condeming people with MS or diabetes do you? Calling gayness a disease is just hateful attitudes disguised as religion etc.

Nova boy

 

[Gillette]

Um, guys, I think kank84's use of quotes indicates his opinion of the words use. And we all use eye catching titles for threads to grab the attention of posters.

I think it is a good question, even if the concept is horrific. How many young men, or women, just coming to terms with their sexuality might opt for an easy way out of their confusion ("Aren't I supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex?"), isolation ("Who can I talk to about it?") and discrimination (I don't need to explain this).

This should provide us with an opportunity to see how much more work needs to be done before kids can come into their sexuality being comfortble with who they are intead of fretting over who they think they should be so that others can feel comfortable.

 

[DaveyR]

Um, guys, I think kank84's use of quotes indicates his opinion of the words use. And we all use eye catching titles for threads to grab the attention of posters.

I think it is a good question, even if the concept is horrific. How many young men, or women, just coming to terms with their sexuality might opt for an easy way out of their confusion ("Aren't I supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex?"), isolation ("Who can I talk to about it?") and discrimination (I don't need to explain this).

This should provide us with an opportunity to see how much more work needs to be done before kids can come into their sexuality being comfortble with who they are intead of fretting over who they think they should be so that others can feel comfortable.

I think you make a valid point Gillette. More than one in this thread has said that they would definately not now but would have considered doing so when they were a lot younger.

By the same token dealing with that "tormented" period which modern society inflicts upon us can be an extremely character building experience for a lot of us. Unfortunately there are always some who cannot accept themselves for who they really are and that is sad.

 

[jfrsndvs]

I too thought that this was a interesting question.

I wasn't offended any by the word cure, maybe a different word could have been used, but it wasn't.

I voted no, I have never believed that there was a need for a "cure" for being gay, there are many reasons why some men and women are gay/lesbian, one is their upbringing, another one is being hurt so deeply from the oposite sex, some it's just a comfort zone, and though I never really believed this personally, but some are born that way.

when it comes to homophobia, it's taught to them, the same way racism was taught, and some kids just want to follow their parents foot steps when it comes to bigotry, it's what they grew up with, but certainly not all turn out that way.

I was brought up in a somewhat racist home, mostly from my mothers side, when I was a kid, there was some older black folks that would come by our house from time to time just to visit, my dad was more open to them than my mother was, she just tollerated them for the most part and was polite to them. but they were the nicest people you could imagine.

and as for all conservatives being homophobic, not all are, there are actually some liberals that are homophobic as well as racist, it's on both sides of the political spectrum. it will get to a point where gays/lesbians will be more widely accepted, sure there will always be some hated towards gays and lesbians, just as there are still hatred towards blacks and other ethnic people. it's just a fact of life, now people can focus all their attention towards the negitive shit, or the can take that same energy and focus towards the positive's.

Um, guys, I think kank84's use of quotes indicates his opinion of the words use. And we all use eye catching titles for threads to grab the attention of posters.

I think it is a good question, even if the concept is horrific. How many young men, or women, just coming to terms with their sexuality might opt for an easy way out of their confusion ("Aren't I supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex?"), isolation ("Who can I talk to about it?") and discrimination (I don't need to explain this).

This should provide us with an opportunity to see how much more work needs to be done before kids can come into their sexuality being comfortble with who they are intead of fretting over who they think they should be so that others can feel comfortable.

 

[emu]

pose the question to straight men.

if there were a pill to cure straightness, would you take it? and why?
would any straight man want to be gay?

100% of all straight men will say NO. why...?

as some straight men have said here on this very site, being straight has alot to do with the social circles you are a part of, part of what defines and identifies your straightness is the influence of your friends and family and how they "reinforce" and mirror what it means to be "socially" straight (even though you may secretly desire to suck cock)...in other words...society's standards judge you as more of a man if you are straight or just look straight even if you really aren't. because people automatically have more respect for straigght men by default, without question. many people see gay men as weak and submissive, a role traditionally reserved for women. so men will tend to lose respect for gay men, because they see them as a female equivalent.


sucks, but it's true for the most part.

just a thought.

E

 

[elf]

It'd be a more interesting question if it was about a pill that either made you bisexual or made you totally relaxed about whatever your sexuality happened to be. Sorry for the tangential thought...

 

[Lordpendragon]

No way, I hear the side-effects are nausea and dry-mouth.

Too high a price to pay for my liking.

Apparently another side effect is to loose your dress sense.

 

[Gillette]

Sorry for the tangential thought...

All forms of genital thought are welcome.

Just as an aside. GACK! Highlighting green text for editing turns it pink.

 

[Nelly Gay]

I've just watched the new X Men film and it got me thinking, if there was an injection that could make a gay man into a straight man, how many gay people out there would take it? I think if asked three or four years ago my answer would probably have been yes, but these days i wouldn't even consider it; i don't think my boyfriend would be very pleased. What about anyone else?

God no !

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

Would I want a pill to cure me of being straight? Neither gays nor straights need curing. They are manifesting their natural being. Taking an anti-gay pill smacks of the tendency of too many people who take drastic measures to alter their apprearance. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and eventually society will come to accept that.

 

[fortiesfun]

Still, surely we should be aware that many support groups for gay men and their families have used a variation of this question as a standard discussion opener for decades now. The question doesn't just get at homophobia and self-loathing, although there is more than a tinge of that in there, but also about the fear and isolation that many young people feel. In other words, "What are you so afraid of?" is not as good a discussion opener as this one, but both open up the pathways to understanding what there is to value about being different, even when there is a price to be paid.

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

Still, surely we should be aware that many support groups for gay men and their families have used a variation of this question as a standard discussion opener for decades now. The question doesn't just get at homophobia and self-loathing, although there is more than a tinge of that in there, but also about the fear and isolation that many young people feel. In other words, "What are you so afraid of?" is not as good a discussion opener as this one, but both open up the pathways to understanding what there is to value about being different, even when there is a price to be paid.

I agree with your sentiments completely, FF, but even though gay men have a rougher than usual rite of passage, IMO they emerge stronger from the experience. Granted, I hang out with only a few gay men in the "real world," but I have also observed an inordinately high number of strong gay men at this site who embrace their sexuality despite their having coped with the inevitable angst of coming to grips with it in our homophobic culture. That seems to occur to all people who are different from the norm -- artists, for example. The fear and isolation some feel should dissipate when the person achieves some degree of acceptance of self and celebrate his uniqueness. Of course, I may not have a full understanding of the impact of that isolation and am willing to alter my opinion if it is skewed out of ignorance.

 

[Lex]

ColJohn--the rates of depression, drug/alacohol abuse and suicide are alarming among people in the gay community. It's rather staggering, actually. And the isoloation can be maddening. I am never physically alone (As I have afamily) and I often feel alone. It's crazy. I do, however, feel I will be a stronger person at the end of my journey for having struggled so mightily.

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

ColJohn--the rates of depression, drug/alacohol abuse and suicide are alarming among people in the gay community. It's rather staggering, actually. And the isoloation can be maddening. I am never physically alone (As I have afamily) and I often feel alone. It's crazy. I do, however, feel I will be a stronger person at the end of my journey for having struggled so mightily.

I guess I am maybe both right and wrong, then. Do those rates of depression, etc., occur because of the isolation or because of the gay genetic make-up?

Lex, I am stunned that you of all people would ever feel alone. I assumed that people gravitate toward you and that you derive much pleasure from companionship because you are so self-assured and compassionate. It seems I am wrong again. My batting average is weak today.

 

[tygrrr]

I guess I am maybe both right and wrong, then. Do those rates of depression, etc., occur because of the isolation or because of the gay genetic make-up?

Thanks for the thoughtful last posts in this thread all!
Personally I don't think there is such a thing a gay genetic make-up, but that's an other discussion...
The rates of depression, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, etc. occur because of real experiences and/or feeling of being rejected by family and/or (parts of) society - alienation, loneliness, self-loathing - the list is endless.
It actually takes of lot struggle, of energy and drive, of inner work, etc. etc. for a gay person to create for him/herself a safe and harmonious place in this world and not the least to achieve a clear self-image. All of those things that any straight person takes for granted and never have to give a second thought to, gay people have to struggle for.
And for many this becomes a life-or-death struggle.
- From the moment a gay person comes aware og his/her sexuality it is almost double the work to create a place for themselves in the world - for years and even decades ahead. As all of you know, simply getting done with education and finding a professional path takes a lot, often it takes all you've got - now imagine doubling that effort and you'll get an idea of what it takes for a gay person to create their base for a good life.
Sure, it makes one stronger - but I sometimes feel really annoyed about those years upon years I have used to come to terms with myself and society - in many ways they feel like wasted years and wasted energy - they could sure have been used much more constructively than to dig through the prejudices of the masses and the hostility towards gays and general self-loathing that is baked into much of religion, etc. etc. - It's not an enjoyable task, I can actually well understand that some just can't deal with it - especially if the support of close family is lacking.

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

Thanks for the thoughtful last posts in this thread all!
Personally I don't think there is such a thing a gay genetic make-up, but that's an other discussion...
The rates of depression, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, etc. occur because of real experiences and/or feeling of being rejected by family and/or (parts of) society - alienation, loneliness, self-loathing - the list is endless.
It actually takes of lot struggle, of energy and drive, of inner work, etc. etc. for a gay person to create for him/herself a safe and harmonious place in this world and not the least to achieve a clear self-image. All of those things that any straight person takes for granted and never have to give a second thought to, gay people have to struggle for.
And for many this becomes a life-or-death struggle.
- From the moment a gay person comes aware og his/her sexuality it is almost double the work to create a place for themselves in the world - for years and even decades ahead. As all of you know, simply getting done with education and finding a professional path takes a lot, often it takes all you've got - now imagine doubling that effort and you'll get an idea of what it takes for a gay person to create their base for a good life.
Sure, it makes one stronger - but I sometimes feel really annoyed about those years upon years I have used to come to terms with myself and society - in many ways they feel like wasted years and wasted energy - they could sure have been used much more constructively than to dig through the prejudices of the masses and the hostility towards gays and general self-loathing that is baked into much of religion, etc. etc. - It's not an enjoyable task, I can actually well understand that some just can't deal with it - especially if the support of close family is lacking.

Between you and Lex, you have convinced me that I am wrong in my thinking. I wish I could delete my former post. What an ignorant fuck I am sometimes.:redface:

 

[Hatched69]

Between you and Lex, you have convinced me that I am wrong in my thinking. I wish I could delete my former post. What an ignorant fuck I am sometimes.:redface:

Now, now....
Not ignorant. Don't beat yourself up too much. Just not totally aware of the situation would be a better way to describe it.....
I have friends who deal with their sexuality and acceptance very well, and I have friends who consider me as their only "outside" (for lack of a better term) support. One can never completely understand any individual's situation until you've walked a mile in their shoes, and that's pretty hard to do, considering the nuances would be missing....
On a side note, I'd never ask any of my "gay" friends to take a cure pill. I love them for who they are, not their sexuality.:tongue: