Gay! Gay! Gay!

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

[Initially I wrote alot, but it's simple question]

My family thinks I'm gay. I'm not. What do I do?

 

[nudeyorker]

A simple "I'm not gay." should suffice; if not then they have issues that need to be worked out.

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

This site is filled with gay guys. I get hit on by them here. When I log off, I get hit on at PEETs coffee. Guys offer to give me head when I'm putting library books in the care. I say "I'm flattered, but no." Something about me says "Hmm...bi...maybe?" Maybe its my smile. Could be the clothes. Possibly how slim I am. I don't know. I am not bothered by being hit on or the advances.

I am bothered by my family, though.

I get this vibe they think I am gay. Some have asked behind my back. Some make innuendo, or comment on things homosexual infront of me. Makes me feel uncomfortable, and misunderstood. With no girlfriend to speak of, I guess its hard to make it obvious too. Now, I hate to go around screaming out "I'm straight - I'm not gay!!" to them all, because its stupid.

Either way the dilemna is how do I deal with this delicately. How do I make it clear to my family I like girls, thats all, drive it home, and leave it at that? Also, am I alone in this? I feel like it. I've had friends come out to me. I haven't had issues with gay men since high school - such as silly homophobia - and its so past age I don't even know how to deal with people still in that mind state.

How do I?

So lets talk "Gay"...haha.

Start chasing women.

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

Start chasing women.

What if I trip?

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

A simple "I'm not gay." should suffice; if not then they have issues that need to be worked out.

Just out of the blue?

 

[340120]

You're gay. Get over it.

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

hahah. appreciate the input

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

Here are some ideas --

Give up ballet lessons
Start watching football
Stop wearing pink tube tops
Start scratching a lot more. Everywhere.
Stop going to cat shows
Start going to cat houses
Stop getting manicures (sorry guys, I think manicured manhands are sissy)
Spit
Stop using correct grammar
Breathe through your mouth
Stop collecting dollhouses
Start working on cars and don't wash your hands afterwards
Don't say -- What a fabulous window treatment!
Say -- Yo, Baby. You wanna get some this? (But only say it to women)

Ok, I had to do that before someone else did. It was just too much fun. Hope I didn't offend any straight guys. Especially the hot ones.

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

So much for my funny answer, now for my serious one. If you're attractive and not threatening you will get hit on by gay guys. That doesn't mean they think you're gay! Some gay guys like str8 guys as we all know.

As far as your family goes, that's a little more difficult. Have you had serious girlfriends in the past? There is a line from My Best Friend's Wedding that says "And yes, like all devastingly handsome single men his age, his is gay." If you're goodlooking and over a certain age and not married or not with a serious GF, SOME people, maybe your family included, will assume you are gay.

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

What if I trip?

:biggrin1:
Get up and start chasing again!

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

And speaking of car mechanics with dirty hands, that reminded me of this joke --
http://www.lpsg.org/161491-car-mechanic-having-sex.html#post2486015

We now return to your regular programming.......

 

[HUNGHUGE11X7]

Sounds a lot like Me thinks the lady doth protest too much . Also sounds like your family is more tuned into you than you are . You could be BI but definitely not str8, Sounds like you need to prove it to yourself before proving it to your family . Hell you are young maybe you either dont KNOW yet or are in denial . Anyways you should talk to your mom about this maybe she can give you some insight




HH

 

[Pendlum]

What if I trip?

Get a rascal, or a hoveround.

 

[JacobFox]

Just out of the blue?

That would be amusing... just walk in the door "I'm not gay" and walk out... will get the family talking

Even better, do it during Christmas dinner

 

[HotBulge]

Ajoi is being reasonable and is also demonstrating courage to ask the board. Ajoi is 19 years old - not even quite his own "man" yet. His family's opinion probably does matter to him psychologically, whether it should matter or not. I also suspect there is a racial component to it as well where Black (and some other ethnicities) may be somewhat more homophobic culturally.

To answer the question with hopefully a little more sensitivity:

- If it's the extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins - then you don't owe them any explanation

- If it's older siblings who are wondering, you may want to have a one-on-one private conversation one day and ask they are so concerned about your sexuality. Dont' be defensive, but you can point out to them that they seem more concerned about your sexuality than you do at the moment.

- If it's Mom/Dad, just a one line answer will do. Their question violates that boundary that adult children have with their parents anyhow...

 

[CuriousGuy]

I really wish I had some great advice for you, since most of the repsonses seem to not be taking your question seriously. Don't mean to imply those who gave short, comical replies don't care about your situation, I just think they are trying to tell you that you should'nt worry about it so much. I know, easier said than done. Just hang in there and it will become obvious when you start dating a girl or girls for an extended length of time and don't show any interest in guys that way.

In the mean time you sound like a very open-minded caring man who others feel comfortable confiding in, and that's a great reflection on your character. What others think may be a bit annoying or embarrassing for a while but as you get older you will be less concerned with what other people think and just be proud about who you are.

 

[ledroit]

[Initially I wrote alot, but it's simple question]

My family thinks I'm gay. I'm not. What do I do?

Laugh and enjoy the ride. Enjoy the girls, enjoy your friends, enjoy sex, enjoy guys if you want, and love whom you will. Don't worry about tripping. There is nothing criminal about a dick, in and of itself, nor about a kiss, cumming, or being naked if and when you feel like it, alone or with others.

Only you know who you are and what you want. Define yourself any way you like. Your family will love you, no matter what. If they sense this is a sensitive area and their teasing works, that will keep them going. Don't fall for the bait. Find something to tease them about. Accuse them of being gay or lesbian. How can anyone prove they're not? How can anyone prove what they think or feel?

 

[eyescream]

People think I'm a lesbian all the time because I:

1: don't talk about sex to anyone
2: don't talk about boys
3: am not 100% feminine

I don't really care what people think and my sexuality is my business. What I do know is that I like sucking and fucking dicks, and I'm not into anything a woman has. As far as I'm concerned that's good enough to make me as straight as an arrow.

So don't let it get to you too much, people will think what they want to think.

 

[Mickactual]

Take the Zac Efron posters off Your wall & listen to Streisand in private, and You should be fine.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

[Initially I wrote alot, but it's simple question]

My family thinks I'm gay. I'm not. What do I do?

Any why do they think you are gay?