Gay! Gay! Gay!

[roblon26]

Its all a case of perspective. One I'm not too open to them about girls...or much of anything. So I'm sure they think they are just worried. More so cousins are questioning anyway. Even less openes, all apperance...And I'm eclectic, eccentric, friendly and don't talk to girls to much of anybody because of having so little confidence on the issue lately. Girls have shown their interest, but lately I can even trust myself enough to make a move. Intimidated by my past girls I guess.

Hi Ajoi. As a mostly gay man I cannot empathise with you but as an eclectic eccentric gentleman I can understand that part. Firstly: it's funny to see some guys on here offering oral sex - right guys - what's that gonna do apart from boost your cock craving? Just like the witches in the Wizard of Oz they always appear when you least need them :smile:

OK - now with serious mind in play - I used to have confidence issues. I've done a few courses in self esteem and assertiveness and they have made a major improvement but I did not start until I was 32 so take your time.

Family are the worst - you are emotionally connected to them - they know how to get under your skin. I cannot tell you what to do but the more assertive you are with them (look them in the eye, say nothing and smile!) when they ask you probing questions will help them get the message to back off.

I lived at home for quite a while and my old dear was a nosy bitch who decided to try and find out everything about me - well she did - her boy liked cock. So whatever you fear that your family will find out (you like girls, you are well endowed, you are a human being) once you realise it is not a big issue to you they will back down.

Re: issues from the past. It takes time to deal with it, for me it was an obsession with someone who was so wrong for me I desired them like a drug. I'm still dealing with it and every day it gets better.

Finally: Take your time, see where life takes you. When you feel the time is right to move away from family and an opportunity provides itself then take it - you will look back in a few years and see how everything has fitted together as a jigsaw - most importantly do not panic and find something that gives you pleasure (not what some of the guys on here are thinking :tongue and have some moments of solace.

Best wishes,

Rob.

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

Just be GAY and avoid the pressure. With your cock, the gays will welcum you into the fold with open mouths and holes.

You don't even need to be gay and gays such as me will cum to you with open mouths and holes.

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

Haha. Wanna thank everybody. Over the last year of experimenting sexually I've learned a lot about myself. At least sexually.

I still love women, but I gotta say - a guy can give an amazing blow jobs. That doesn't mean you can get any though :wink:

 

[FleshlightMouth]

Haha. Wanna thank everybody. Over the last year of experimenting sexually I've learned a lot about myself. At least sexually.

I still love women, but I gotta say - a guy can give an amazing blow jobs. That doesn't mean you can get any though :wink:

Have we met? :biggrin1:

 

[mitchymo]

Let them find a donkey in your bedroom and tell them they were right that you liked ass!.....

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

Haha. Wanna thank everybody. Over the last year of experimenting sexually I've learned a lot about myself. At least sexually. I still love women, but I gotta say - a guy can give an amazing blow jobs. That doesn't mean you can get any though :wink:

Is there a gay guy who would not want to suck you???

 

[petite]

I've been there. Just relax and let them think whatever they want to think! If they ask, tell them the truth. :smile:

When I was a teenager, my father thought I might be a lesbian or bisexual. I had lots of books on sexual politics, and a lot of other "suspicious" books, lots of gay friends, and I often dressed in an androgynous or masculine way, which I thought was cute look on me. (Actually I still do! Men think it's adorable on me. TheBoyfriend loves it when I dress like that!) I wore wingtips with my jeans, jungle boots with cut-off camos, button-down shirts with tailored trousers, things like that. I had a bulletin board with stickers and pamphlets about gay rights on it. I could tell that my father and my family wondered, but I just let them. It didn't bother me if they thought I might be a lesbian or bisexual, and I thought the exercise in open-mindedness might be good for them. :tongue:

 

[FuzzyKen]

What I do not understand is why people are interested in your orientation. There are a number of factors you have not mentioned. If the questions seem to come from one single family member towards you, and they continue to go in that direction the shoe may in fact be on the other foot and they are looking for a way to "come out" to you!

This often happens, and people are searching at times for markers which make a certain kind of conversation an assessment of how you may react to them if they were to reveal facts to you.

The one rule in the gay community is that you never "out" another person. I strongly advocate it's use and a reversal in your situation.

When they pop the question:

Here's Your Answer:

I don't understand what my sexual orientation has to do with our relationship. You are my (insert relationship to you) and I accept you for who/whom you are without question.

I am very accepting of gay and lesbian individuals so you should know by now that if you want to confide in and come out to me that it would not change anything. I fully understand and it takes great courage to do this.

I am also extremely protective of people's intimacy. This is the reason that I never discuss anything I do with anyone else, because this is a very sacred thing between the two people "making love".

- - - - -

By doing this, you place them in the position of defending or talking about their own sexual interests, and more important you inform them of how respective you are of the privacy of others and their "intimate rights". It tells them not to go into that aspect of your life.

I am open and out with the people who have reason to know what my orientation is. If they have no reason to know this means that they have NO RIGHT to know.

If you fail with the kind approach, the next alternative is to simply state:

"This is a part of my life that is private, my orientation no matter what it is is simply not your business, and the fact that we share this conversation over and over again, and I have said nothing is a great indicator that I do not want the most intimate details whether it be with women, men or farm animals to be a quiet subject behind my back of family discussion. In truth, your repeated questions on this issue tell me with little doubt that you have already made a decision as to where you think my orientation is. You have made a judgment and as far as you are concerned the ONLY answer you are going to accept is the one you have already pre-judged".

Then forcefully: "Permanent End of Subject!"