Gay guy expressing his feelings to a str8 guy, what happened?

[zaynmlk1626]

i was wondering how many of you guys, had feelings/fell in love/wanted to have sex, with a str8 guy, like a friend or a co worker a random guy at a bar or someone around you, that you knew was str8 but couldn't help but have feelings for him. how many of you did have the courage to go tell him about it and what happened? how did he react?

in my case i had feelings for a str8 guy we were in the army together, we were close friends and we would talk about anything he would share stories about his girlfriends etc i did start having feelings for him and at some point when i was a little drunk i did find the courage to tell him. i can not say he took it well neither bad, he asked me if i was gay and that he would like to help me(take me to a shrink or something?!) nothing else happened after that.

 

[Wessex]

I have a massive crushes on several straight guys at work. I'd love to be able to tell them, and have my way with them.

But at work, I would not risk it!!!

 

[IntactMale]

I've had gay guys who were friends tell me they were interested, usually in very convoluted ways. There is something a bit flattering about it, but also something that a straight man needs to treat with disgust, as unfair as that may be. Sorry.

It never directly ended my friendship with anyone. Though, someone who pushed the issue too much and ignored my feelings would probably be indicating that they aren't really a friend.

 

[j06quinn]

At university one of my friends who is gay, on a drunken night out, told my girlfriend, that she was a lucky bitch because she was getting shagged by me . I was very bad as I shagged her long and hard that night, bed hitting the wall , knowing he was trying to sleep in the next room .

 

[328982]

At university one of my friends who is gay, on a drunken night out, told my girlfriend, that she was a lucky bitch because she was getting shagged by me . I was very bad as I shagged her long and hard that night, bed hitting the wall , knowing he was trying to sleep in the next room .

Why did you do that?

 

[328982]

something that a straight man needs to treat with disgust

Interesting. Disgust is a strong reaction. When you say 'needs' do you think that is a requirement from society/culture (how a straight man is supposed to treat a gay advance) or a more kind of visceral, natural, reaction that means you can’t help but treat it in that way. As a gay man, I haven’t felt disgust at a woman's advance or felt it needed to be treated with disgust, so I'm interested in the difference here.

 

[328982]

Interesting. Disgust is a strong reaction. When you say 'needs' do you think that is a requirement from society/culture (how a straight man is supposed to treat a gay advance) or a more kind of visceral, natural, reaction that means you can’t help but treat it in that way. As a gay man, I haven’t felt disgust at a woman's advance or felt it needed to be treated with disgust, so I'm interested in the difference here.

Sorry, I should correct myself, I said 'advance' which is more direct, you were talking more generally about gay 'interest', shown in convoluted ways, and the need to treat that with disgust.

 

[IntactMale]

Interesting. Disgust is a strong reaction. When you say 'needs' do you think that is a requirement from society/culture (how a straight man is supposed to treat a gay advance) or a more kind of visceral, natural, reaction that means you can’t help but treat it in that way. As a gay man, I haven’t felt disgust at a woman's advance or felt it needed to be treated with disgust, so I'm interested in the difference here.

I think its pretty rare that a straight man is truly disgusted by an advance from a gay man, but their reaction will in some cases be consistent with someone who is disgusted. I think its a part of straight man culture that certain things are supposed to be disgusting to you, and if they aren't disgusting then you aren't really a straight man. I think its pretty rare that any man is truly 100% straight, but they still feel shame about that and so a disgusted reaction is kind of an overreaction that is more about their own defensiveness than it is about the person making the advance.

 

[328982]

I think its pretty rare that a straight man is truly disgusted by an advance from a gay man, but their reaction will in some cases be consistent with someone who is disgusted. I think its a part of straight man culture that certain things are supposed to be disgusting to you, and if they aren't disgusting then you aren't really a straight man. I think its pretty rare that any man is truly 100% straight, but they still feel shame about that and so a disgusted reaction is kind of an overreaction that is more about their own defensiveness than it is about the person making the advance.

Got it, thanks.

 

[Gj816]

Hum, I've been approached by gay friends who were interested in me and offered to give me blow jobs.

I thanked them. Let them know that I was not interested in them. Wished them good luck. Told them we'd forget that conversation ever happened.

Alas, they decided they could not be friends with me any longer and moved on. Guess that they wanted to have sex with me more than they wanted to be my friends. Haven't seen either one of them in years.

 

[zaynmlk1626]

Hum, I've been approached by gay friends who were interested in me and offered to give me blow jobs.

I thanked them. Let them know that I was not interested in them. Wished them good luck. Told them we'd forget that conversation ever happened.

Alas, they decided they could not be friends with me any longer and moved on. Guess that they wanted to have sex with me more than they wanted to be my friends. Haven't seen either one of them in years.

i don't think they only thing they wanted was to have sex with you. they did care about you as a friend but mostly as a boyfriend. probably they had feelings for you both romantic and sexual and the fact that you made them lose all their hopes made them move on with their lives. i'm pretty sure they still think about you they just couldn't stand being around you knowing nothing sexual ever was going to happen with you. you broke their hearts even if you didn't want to this is why you haven't seen them for years.

on the other hand, i totally understand you, you're str8 can not change that, not interested in experimenting, the end. you were very cool if you reacted exactly like that to their blowjob offers. i really appreciate how nice and kind you answered to them. i would have stayed your friend, not as close as before maybe.

 

[Gj816]

i don't think they only thing they wanted was to have sex with you. they did care about you as a friend but mostly as a boyfriend. probably they had feelings for you both romantic and sexual and the fact that you made them lose all their hopes made them move on with their lives. i'm pretty sure they still think about you they just couldn't stand being around you knowing nothing sexual ever was going to happen with you. you broke their hearts even if you didn't want to this is why you haven't seen them for years.

on the other hand, i totally understand you, you're str8 can not change that, not interested in experimenting, the end. you were very cool if you reacted exactly like that to their blowjob offers. i really appreciate how nice and kind you answered to them. i would have stayed your friend, not as close as before maybe.

I tried to be kind. At that point in my life I was not interested in other men. Not that I am now either. But I suppose that they did what was best for them.

I still have a few gay friends. One, we were always close. Going out to bars, dinner, hanging out. And one night I had to tell him I wasn't his lover. He asked me why not? Told him I just wasn't interested in that kind of a relationship.

Sort of bummed him out. But we were more like brothers and we stay in touch several times throughout the year. Not as close as we once were. Nor do we have the same relationship we shared. Life goes on. We more or less just keep a check to make sure the other is doing okay.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I feel this way with my best friend. I didn't have such feelings for him at first but after years of him confiding in me and having such deep conversations, it developed. And I hate it. He's totally straight and a bit homophobic at times. I hate having these feelings for him because it tears me apart. I wish I could just see him as I did before as just a good friend. I'm sure if I told him he'd end the friendship immediately. 20 year friendship gone.

 

[CUBE]

I’ve mentioned this before. College buddy was so close to me I fell hard for him. He knew it. Lol. It did not have to be discussed. He was so cool with it. He was affectionate to me in so many ways and others might think he was leading me on. He liked the attention of it for sure. We tried to mess around but it was lame. Sweet but lame. He couldn’t really enjoy it and I knew it so it was not good for me either. It was painful on me but I couldn’t resist him at that time. I always knew he was straight. We are still friends though not as close. Initially, we took some time away from each other to get it sorted out but no hard feelings. We do love each other but like family. But damn he was so sexy. He is still a nice looking man but I’m not focused on it anymore thank god. He is a good guy.

 

[CUBE]

I should also add. If I had not had him in my life back then I could not have a good marriage to my husband today. I didn’t trust many people and never felt anyone ever really believed in me. He did. He believed in me and it fixed my head in many ways. In meeting his future wife, I told her this last part only. Of course I’d never say anything to anyone about our time. We stood up for each other at our weddings. So though we don’t see each other very often, there is a live there still from years ago.

 

[rayray]

Hum, I've been approached by gay friends who were interested in me and offered to give me blow jobs.

I thanked them. Let them know that I was not interested in them. Wished them good luck. Told them we'd forget that conversation ever happened.

Alas, they decided they could not be friends with me any longer and moved on. Guess that they wanted to have sex with me more than they wanted to be my friends. Haven't seen either one of them in years.

I'm confused @Gj816 Didn't you post an ad on CL in May 2017 wanting a blow job from a guy? The one that didn't look like his pic that had a beer belly that you turned down? I thought you were straight. I ask in this thread because of the subject in the OPs title question.

 

[Gj816]

I'm confused @Gj816 Didn't you post an ad on CL in May 2017 wanting a blow job from a guy? The one that didn't look like his pic that had a beer belly that you turned down? I thought you were straight. I ask in this thread because of the subject in the OPs title question.

You're funny. Receiving a blow job from another guy makes one gay? Or not straight? At that time in my life I did not engage in or have sexual relationships with men.

Since you seem to know so much about me. When was the last time I let another man suck my dick? Or perhaps you can tell me why I stopped using cocksuckers?

 

[rayray]

You're funny. Receiving a blow job from another guy makes one gay? Or not straight? At that time in my life I did not engage in or have sexual relationships with men.

Since you seem to know so much about me. When was the last time I let another man suck my dick? Or perhaps you can tell me why I stopped using cocksuckers?

I really have no argument with you i thought i remembered your screen name in the using a cocksucker . Your screen name looks like a few others . But since you verified it for me i just got to say i can't quite figure you out after reading what you say in this thread and on another thread you are advertising for head on CL from a gay guy . I'm not saying what you are who which way you sway...Do you know? I think you stopped using a cocksucker since you know longer have CL to find one ...If i remember right and I'm not confusing you with another letter number combo screen name similiar to yours, you did well in the political forums defending Kavenauh in the justice hearings.

 

[Gj816]

I really have no argument with you i thought i remembered your screen name in the using a cocksucker . Your screen name looks like a few others . But since you verified it for me i just got to say i can't quite figure you out after reading what you say in this thread and on another thread you are advertising for head on CL from a gay guy . I'm not saying what you are who which way you sway...Do you know? I think you stopped using a cocksucker since you know longer have CL to find one ...If i remember right and I'm not confusing you with another letter number combo screen name similiar to yours, you did well in the political forums defending Kavenauh in the justice hearings.

Craigslist had nothing to do with me and my using cocksuckers. If that was the case I could've just moved on to doublelist. I stopped because it was no longer what I wanted. It wasn't just gay guys on CL there were"married" guys and "curious" a well.

I realized that using other willing guys to get me off wasn't really satisfying me. Sure temporary relief, but It wasn't making me happy. I have put that energy elsewhere. Yep of course I know what I am. What my preferences are in sexual relationships. Since I got serious about my body and going to the gym i have made that my priority. Besides it has so many added benefits.

Thanks on the Kavanaugh thread.

 

[AMTZ410213]

i was wondering how many of you guys, had feelings/fell in love/wanted to have sex, with a str8 guy, like a friend or a co worker a random guy at a bar or someone around you, that you knew was str8 but couldn't help but have feelings for him. how many of you did have the courage to go tell him about it and what happened? how did he react?

in my case i had feelings for a str8 guy we were in the army together, we were close friends and we would talk about anything he would share stories about his girlfriends etc i did start having feelings for him and at some point when i was a little drunk i did find the courage to tell him. i can not say he took it well neither bad, he asked me if i was gay and that he would like to help me(take me to a shrink or something?!) nothing else happened after that.

Hey, dude! I think it's all about being respectful of the other person. If your friend is straight, then it's not very respectful to him to confess feelings for him. It would be more appropriate to express something like @CUBE described where you treat each other as family. Of course it's never a bad thing to express your appreciation of others, but it this case you just have the be careful in how you do it.