Gay Guy Want To Escape From His Muslim Country

Zesus

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Im a 25 yo guy living in one of the muslim country in asia(not ready to tell where cause im afraid im going to be attack). I was born and raise here, im not a muslim, instead a catholic but still have a very strict religious family. I have 2 siblings, me and my older sister which i respect so much.
Ive known that im gay since i was a child, i kept it as a secret but i have a feeling that my whole family already know by the act of them always indirectly lecture me how to be a true men and whats not supposed to do.
Last year, i came out accidentally during a fight with my sister. By her reaction i think shes on the fence, she seems ok with it but the fact that she told me to keep it to myself and not to tell anyone especially our parents is a sign that i cant be myself. And also she told me to wait until our parents died then i can do whatever i want. Which seems unfair compared to what she did during the time.
After i came out to her, i slowly came out to my friends, starting with the closest and i trust the most. And thankfully everything went good, i have lost some but i dont really want to think about it. Then i started dating, but its hard here because most of the gay guy here only want to have sex( which im not really looking forward to) due to discretion and also no future in any gay relationship.
So i started thinking to move to other country that accept the lgbt community, but im afraid to leave my parents alone (cause im a family kind of guy and its always part of our culture to live close with each other) and also cause i want to move to australia which are the closest to my country that accept lgbt but recently my country is kind of being banned to enter australia which makes it harder for me to move there. Im considering to move to america but its too far and im not from a rich family, so my budget to move there is very limited.
Im very excited to be free, but theres alot of going on that stop me from doing it. Do u guys have any suggestions or any good words so i can deal with this problem right now?
Thank u so much and i hope i will get a good responds
 

Sagittarius84

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Im a 25 yo guy living in one of the muslim country in asia(not ready to tell where cause im afraid im going to be attack). I was born and raise here, im not a muslim, instead a catholic but still have a very strict religious family. I have 2 siblings, me and my older sister which i respect so much.
Ive known that im gay since i was a child, i kept it as a secret but i have a feeling that my whole family already know by the act of them always indirectly lecture me how to be a true men and whats not supposed to do.
Last year, i came out accidentally during a fight with my sister. By her reaction i think shes on the fence, she seems ok with it but the fact that she told me to keep it to myself and not to tell anyone especially our parents is a sign that i cant be myself. And also she told me to wait until our parents died then i can do whatever i want. Which seems unfair compared to what she did during the time.
After i came out to her, i slowly came out to my friends, starting with the closest and i trust the most. And thankfully everything went good, i have lost some but i dont really want to think about it. Then i started dating, but its hard here because most of the gay guy here only want to have sex( which im not really looking forward to) due to discretion and also no future in any gay relationship.
So i started thinking to move to other country that accept the lgbt community, but im afraid to leave my parents alone (cause im a family kind of guy and its always part of our culture to live close with each other) and also cause i want to move to australia which are the closest to my country that accept lgbt but recently my country is kind of being banned to enter australia which makes it harder for me to move there. Im considering to move to america but its too far and im not from a rich family, so my budget to move there is very limited.
Im very excited to be free, but theres alot of going on that stop me from doing it. Do u guys have any suggestions or any good words so i can deal with this problem right now?
Thank u so much and i hope i will get a good responds
Dude...Get.The.Fuck.Out.Now..
I get maybe from the US im speaking from a privileged position here, and aren't really equipped to understand the hardships and efforts it would take to get out....I understand your family, upbringing, and culture all may obligate you to stay for whatever reason...i even know full well homophobia is a worldwide phenomenon and few locales can promise total safety from violence or death because if whom you choose to sleep with...but if you cant even mention where you're from for fear of attack, get out to somewhere where you can.
 

marriedasian

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i'm not sure you can do much right away where you are if all you've said is true. if your life may be in danger because of your sexual orientation then i would side with your sister and just keep it on the down-low until you can gather enough money or whatever to get yourself outta there. stop telling anymore people as the more people that knows, the more chances of it getting out in the open.

i won't pretend to know what it is like to be gay in that environment so i would caution on the side of safety. until you can be in an environment where you can be yourself, it's better to stay in the closet and be safe otherwise you risk a lot of trouble or even violence. the risk is up to you to decide.

about a decade ago, my cousin came out to a couple of his cousins (including me) that he was gay. he also shared that he had a boyfriend at the time too. his dad (my uncle) was certainly not homophobic but it was shunned in our culture so i told him to just shut up until he was old enough to be on his own; he was only 16 at the time. i said there was no way his dad was going to accept it and he would have nowhere to go if it got out so just shut your mouth, hunker down, and play in secret until he was strong enough to be on his own. fortunately, he did take my advice with encouragement from the other cousins and he kept it under wraps until he was 19 and able to move out on his own against his parents wishes (my culture promotes family staying together). he finally came clean to his parents when he was 20 and the shit hit the fan like we all knew it would.

since then, he's been shunned and disowned from his family, the culture, and the community of his own people. it was horrible however he stood his ground and kept going. the good thing was that he was capable of standing on his own and just walked away. i'm still his friend and cousin as normal but he did pay the price for ignorant people and family.

in closing, stay safe and start doing what you can to get away while staying quiet if you can. if you can't, then it sounds like you may run the risk of being in a situation that won't fare well for you.
 

greg_ca

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I admire your strength and courage to come out and be who you are despite the risks to your safety.

I know of refugees who have worked with this Canadian organization. Here’s some info about what that process looks like:
Get Help
 
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693987

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I can only wish you luck and hope you're safe. An LGBTQ+ online friend of mine has a GoFundMe running right now to help her get out of Russia. Her end goal is Canada. Her city has had a rising amount of violent crime against LGBTQ+ people. It's scary. I worry for her and others like her. I hope you are able to move to a country where you'll be safe.

You might look at crowd funding sites as a potential option to help fund your move.
 
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kr8zy

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First question - are you in physical danger? That is the first issue to deal with. If you don't have to deal with that then you are definitely in a better place. Canada is probably abetter bet for you right now than the USA. That may change in a few years, but for now I would definitely suggest the Rainbow Railroad.

It is hard when you have to decide between your family and your own well being. It sounds you are not in physical danger right now, so you may not have trouble getting in and out of the country once you can live somewhere else to visit. Perhaps you need to think long term - moving to one country, gaining citizenship there, and then making the move to Australia if you still want to. Keep in mind if a country actually prohibits citizens of your country from entering, long run you may not feel so welcome there even if you can gain entry.
 
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693987

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My friend in Russia has been talking with Raricanow about seeking asylum + moving to Canada. Might be worth looking them up/contacting them
 
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