Gay guys acting "gay"

[Redflame]

There are also quite a few guys out there who camp it up because it's what they like to do - especially amongst younger guys who can turn it on and off. One of my buds went from raging camp queen to deadly straight driving though hicksville on the way from Miami to Key West. Now that was an eye-opener.

But ultimately, who cares one way or the other though? Live and let live.

 

[cklover]

I'm a mature gay man. It took me the first 30 years or so of my life to gain some insight into other men and women like me, in terms of behavior. It seems to me that we're all some combo of what straights consider masculine and feminine, but that we tend to identify more one way than the other. Therefore, we can be gentle masculine beings, or we can be tough feminine beings. Once we've realized who we really are, as opposed to those hard and fast straight gender roles, we're pretty much basic people like everybody else. The flamboyant, flaming, butch, diesel personalities reflect a person's desire for attention...often just pure rage against straight society and the terrible hurt they caused most of us in general. This is MY opinion, based on MY life's experience. I hope it isn't too garbled, I hope it's not politically incorrect, but in any case, my life will continue rather happily one way or the other!

 

[Sklar]

DiegoID - thank you for your real response. For the rest of you; I know I sound discriminatory and pretty much am. But, I would never be outright rude to a super queen but it does bug me and I was just looking for a good explanation.

Wow. I guess that all the rest of the responses were fake. At least you have the balls to announce to everyone on here that you do discriminate.

So now when I read anything you type I can always filter it through the lens of someone who is discriminatory, just doesn't get it and slams people because of how they act, talk and walk.

I also noticed the way you avoided answering the questions I asked of you. Too bad your all mouth when it comes to deriding others but when asked to clarify your reasoning, you run away like a dog with it's tail between it's legs.

 

[krashdown]

I'm probably gonna take some heat for this from the other gay guys but I have a hard time dealing with the more effeminate gay men. I don't know why, but it irritates me. I don't want to perpetuate a stereo type but I feel more comfortable with the "butch" guys. Before anyone says anything about my not listing my sexuality in my profile, there is this thing called don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue. I'm not ashamed of who am rather the opposite. I do however enjoy getting a pay check.

 

[CUBE]

I think a person can't really help it.

 

[B_big dirigible]

...but I do prefer to be among flamboyant, authentic persons than the robotic, everything under control and programed etc.ones. or the plain boring.

Hmm.

flamboyant = authentic

under control = programmed = boring



Hmm, again.

 

[Gisella]

Wow. I guess that all the rest of the responses were fake. At least you have the balls to announce to everyone on here that you do discriminate.

So now when I read anything you type I can always filter it through the lens of someone who is discriminatory, just doesn't get it and slams people because of how they act, talk and walk.

I also noticed the way you avoided answering the questions I asked of you. Too bad your all mouth when it comes to deriding others but when asked to clarify your reasoning, you run away like a dog with it's tail between it's legs.

You maybe right as smelling descrimination in some.. call me crazy but many times I read between the lines..and really not responding to the OP...but someone who has a strong standing "no!no!" to someone, but in reality, deep inside, they are trully atracted to it...and dont know how to deal and even are angry with this attraction, fascinate situation etc.

Dont know but peoples minds can be way too tricky to adventure and get all of it...some may shout one thing and whispers another...

 

[Pye]

I'll admit it...I tend to avoid those gay men that tend to be more on the 'effeminate' side...I put "effeminate" in quotes because I have yet to see a female act in the same manner. Sometimes the "camp" act is fun but most of the time I find it irritating. I don't bash them for it..but I'm not too comfortable around it.

There are some "ultra-feminate" guys that can bitch-slap someone into a coma and there are some butch guys that would run shrieking from a spider.

I don't know it is that some gay men are more "effeminate" than others but it is a fact that some are and it is where most of the gay stereotypes come from.

 

[Gisella]

Hmm.

flamboyant = authentic

under control = programmed = boring



Hmm, again.

Yeh thats right. I'm talking about MY mind not yours...

To me equals attracts not the opposites.

Its natural to me.

 

[velvetsweat]

The irony is how over-used the term "straight-acting" is in the gay world
and how rarely someone dares to say that another person is "gay-acting" .
I don't go on the gay scene much but I've met gay guys who left me with the impression of being perfectly straight and nice guys , yet I know that on the scene they 're known to be very camp . I'm not gonna analyse
which is the true personality but if they're only acting straight they've presumably been doing it most of their natural lives . Either that or they are camping it up on the scene to " fit in " , yet the gay persona is rarely referred to as an "act " , only the straight one .

 

[fratpack]

I know it's OK to be gay - so don't consider this really gay bashing, BUT...

I just don't get super-feminine gay guys. Just cause you like cock, doesn't mean you have to act like a girl. You're still a man - you still have testosterone flowing through you - it doesn't make sense.

Why oh why - someone please tell me - why do gays guys feel the need to act like girls????????

first of all, I don't think that my fellow gays do not have the NEED to act like girls. We all do, say and act the way we do to feel comfortable in our own skin.
Plus how many people are there in your city, country, etc...do you really expect them to all act the same, what a boring world you must want to live in.
And why do SOME straight men feel the need to spit, curse, scratch their asses and balls and beat up on others they don't understand.
It is the 21st Century and there are many people in this world with many different personalities and traits, it is what makes us individuals and thank God for that.

 

[fratpack]

BTW, the word "ghetto" has various meanings and has been adopted by many different groups of people and it does not always have an economic connotation.

 

[hypolimnas]

...but someone who has a strong standing "no!no!" to someone, but in reality, deep inside, they are trully atracted to it...and dont know how to deal and even are angry with this attraction, fascinate situation etc

Dont know but peoples minds can be way too tricky to adventure and get all of it...some may shout one thing and whispers another...

I would say that most of the hyper-masculine men I have met are gay rather than straight. They express their sexuality in a variety of ways. They include those who are in the military and physically demanding jobs. Some have chosen homosocial lives. I wonder how many gay people the OP actually knows? I think to be gay is to be diverse, rather than than a stereotype.

Gisella, I think you are right!:wink:

Oh wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
-Robert Burns

Sometimes we have glimpses of our own self deception -Steven Pinker

 

[hypolimnas]

first of all, I don't think that my fellow gays do not have the NEED to act like girls. .... It is the 21st Century and there are many people in this world with many different personalities and traits, it is what makes us individuals and thank God for that.

Even girls don't have to act like "girls" these days. My best female friend is straight and apparently "hot". Guys are coming on to her all the time.

She can also burp louder than me, has won a body building competition, stomps and bangs her way around the house, pisses loudly, and punched her last boyfriend (a fit 22 year old guy) to the ground in front of his friends when he turned out to be two timing shit.

 

[dags]

From all the information I have absorbed I understand it had become "unpopular" even within the gay community to be effeminate. Too bad. To be shunned and looked down upon within ones own community. I enjoy exploring the differences, likenesses, perspectives and diversity of people, especially people within my own group. I feel we are all here to learn while we are on this earth, absorb information and add it to your experience, try not to judge and just take it all in. The people who are most different and on the fringes can be the most interesting and really teach us something. Teach us how good we have it, how fortunate we are, how small our problems really are, you never know until you open up and reach out to someone.
Some men are effeminate, its a fact, big deal, some of them are also straight. Then what, do they make the OP uncomfortable? I am neither overly masculine or feminine, just a well rounded human being. Actors get paid, if your not then why waste all the time fronting I say.

 

[basque9]

Guys hanging out with other guys (whether they talk about fashion, cars, or football) are going to reinforce accents and mannerisms too. We all adjust a little to our cultural environment. Hearing a guy calling out "GU-URL" to another guy enough times, one tends to start accepting it as normal. This only becomes more pronounced the more ghettoized a particular group is.

This comment and your defense of it later on are spot on and very astute .....in my opinion probably coming closest to explaining some gay behavior patterns! You think intently about things, don't you!:smile:

 

[Gisella]

The irony is how over-used the term "straight-acting" is in the gay world
and how rarely someone dares to say that another person is "gay-acting" .
I don't go on the gay scene much but I've met gay guys who left me with the impression of being perfectly straight and nice guys , yet I know that on the scene they 're known to be very camp . I'm not gonna analyse
which is the true personality but if they're only acting straight they've presumably been doing it most of their natural lives . Either that or they are camping it up on the scene to " fit in " , yet the gay persona is rarely referred to as an "act " , only the straight one .

I notice that too...this change in behaviour...but in most of us when we feel relaxed, safe at home and acepted we are more ourselves...

Plus dont know if some feel pressure to act certain away, they pressure themselves act some way or everything together and just function like that. But some of us any gender, ages etc have those same pressures too.

This world still very hard and many times dangerous to a man that is gay, even he is not afeminate..but if some macho/s knows he likes another man they can be bully, hurt and he does not even go to the police because not will take them serious, etc. I think many times is asking too much someone not be protective and let our guards off - it hurts been hurt to anyone.


*Ps: You are very nice cute to be looked at Velvetsweat, you make my smille last longer. :tongue:

 

[t192087]

Wow-- that's like saying why do lesbians wear comfortable shoes, get short haircuts, get fat , work on cars, and drive jeeps

straight women wear comfortable shoes, get short haircuts, get fat, some work on cars and some even drive trucks... I don't see your point

 

[invisibleman]

Why oh why - someone please tell me - why do gays guys feel the need to act like girls????????

Whatever, girlfriend. :smile:

 

[hypolimnas]

From all the information I have absorbed I understand it had become "unpopular" even within the gay community to be effeminate.

There is not one way of being gay, there is not one gay community. Real life is much more complex. Everyone deserves respect. Some gay people may be judgemental, but I think it has been acknowledged elsewhere that that the acceptance gay people show others can be pretty extraordinary.

We should all show some respect for the drag queens. In many ways they advanced political reform arguably more visibly and successfully than conservative gays.

They were the ones that protested dramatically, faced the police with no sense of shame, got arrested and did it all in high heels. They looked elegant and still smiled radiantly for the cameras.

Weggee's photgraphs of 1939 are evidence of this. The Stonewall Riots, lasting several days 1969 were led by "transvestites". They were probably the best looking "emerging radicals" ever.

I won't be wearing high heels or calling anyone sister, but I can show respect.