Gay Guys - Dating up, Dating Down

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Rowan Ravenseed, Mar 17, 2010.

  1. Rowan Ravenseed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2008
    Messages:
    500
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    St Kilda East, Melbourne, Australia
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'm a single gay man with a healthy outlook on life I believe. I'm intelligent, friendly I have a decent sense of humor. I'm self aware and while admittedly i have a few quirks I rekon im a fairly decent catch.

    Whats my point? My point is i'm single.

    For some reason the only men i seem to attract are considerably older than me and while 5 or so years ago that would have been a boon at present i'm looking for some-one closer to my ade.

    The problem is the men my age all seem to be looking to date up

    Admittedly ill include myself in that, however while i do dream of dating mr gorgeous with with rock hard abs big arms and charming smile i'd be just as happy with with a guy who's around the same weight as me (89kg) kind eyes friendly smile and good sense of humour.... so where are they?

    It seems the majority of cute gay guys my age are either all ready in a relationship or looking to for some-one better.

    So just out of curiosity...... do you know any gay guys who you think are dating up? are you lucky enough to be one of those guys dating up? are there any gay body fanatics that see past the physical and date a person based on their personality? and how many gay men between 25-35 are with some-one that's on roughly the same level as you physically and psychologically?
     
  2. B_nyvin

    B_nyvin New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    412
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pensacola FL
    I only want someone with big money and big muscles
     
  3. crescendo69

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    Messages:
    8,142
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Knoxville, TN
    I've dated several guys for their personality. Of course, there wasn't any sex.:tongue:
     
  4. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I'm a single gay man with a healthy outlook on life I believe. I'm intelligent, friendly I have a decent sense of humor. I'm self aware and while admittedly i have a few quirks I rekon im a fairly decent catch.

    Whats my point? My point is i'm single.

    For some reason the only men i seem to attract are considerably older than me and while 5 or so years ago that would have been a boon at present i'm looking for some-one closer to my age.

    The problem is the men my age all seem to be looking to date up

    Admittedly ill include myself in that, however while i do dream of dating mr gorgeous with with rock hard abs big arms and charming smile i'd be just as happy with with a guy who's around the same weight as me (89kg) kind eyes friendly smile and good sense of humour.... so where are they?

    It seems the majority of cute gay guys my age are either all ready in a relationship or looking to for some-one better.

    So just out of curiosity...do you know any gay guys who you think are dating up? are you lucky enough to be one of those guys dating up? are there any gay body fanatics that see past the physical and date a person based on their personality? and how many gay men between 25-35 are with some-one that's on roughly the same level as you physically and psychologically?


    I think that maybe gay men are fickle at the moment. I have been on a few dates just to be out there dating. And I really end up meeting some confused men.

    I get frustrated to the point that I wish I were bisexual. At least I would have women to date while I put men on hold. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.

    I am stuck dealing with these men who really don't like me but these goddamned straight guys. I am not into trends. I don't want a fucking straight guy. I don't put fucking straight guys on a pedestal. But here I deal with these men wanting straight guys.:rolleyes:

    Ideally, I would like a man that loves sex and is monogamously minded. But that is really rare. So, I deal with that. But I don't tolerate abuse from any man no matter what. Dating is really harder for many people.

    All I can say is: if you ever meet someone that can deal with you...hold on and don't fuck it up by cheating on them or taking advantage of them. You can fuck around all you want if you want to...but it is harder finding men that are keepers.
     
  5. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Start going to circuit parties.
     
  6. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Irony is a bitch.
     
  7. willow78

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2008
    Messages:
    5,848
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    I don't have any personal experience in dating up or down, but I get the impression it's not common. I see a lot of gay couples where both guys look alike and it freaks me out. Straight couple-dressing is weird enough but gay couple-dressing is creepy. The same hair-style, the same outfit and in some cases, even the same facial features!
    Judging from what I see in the gay media, we seem to be focused on youth. Anyone over 30 is considered 'old' and we are obsessed with Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson and all those other simpering twink-boys that I personally find a turn-off.
    This may be a bit off-topic, but what bugs me about the gay media is the lack of diversity. All the guys in gay magazines seem to come from the 'Scrawny Blond White Twink Factory'. We seem to be focused on youth. Anyone over 30 is considered 'old' and we are obsessed with Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson and all those other simpering twink-boys that I personally find a turn-off. I've mentioned on other threads that I am attracted to dark-skinned men, but for some reason, there seems to be very little representation of them in mainstream gay media - both porn and non-porn. And the lack of diversity doesn't just apply to race. It also seems to apply to non-blonds and non-twinks. There is 'specialist' material - e.g. "Black Inches" and 'bear' magazines - but they're considered 'niche' or 'fetish' markets which seems a bit patronizing.
    Of course I should point out that my musings are pure theory. My opinions are based on what I see (and don't see) in gay media. As I have mentioned on another thread, I have little to no experience with the gay scene and community itself. Perhaps I could be totally wrong. Perhaps gay media doesn't truly represent gay people. Perhaps I have wasted your time. Oh well, make of my confusing post what you will.
     
  8. ewa123

    ewa123 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2007
    Messages:
    124
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    los angeles
    Yes, it is.

    Try reading Instinct Magazine. You can subscribe to it, even if you're in Australia. There's plenty of diversity within Instinct, if you're a regular reader. And though the magazine does cater to the younger audience, it still features some of the more senior community members.
     
  9. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    I guess you can say I "married up."

    My man is 10 years older than me. His body is not as gym-fit as is mine.

    None of this is a problem for me. We exercise and more together at least 4-5 days per week.

    I adore him.

    When I was dating men, it was RARE for me to find a guy between 27-33 (or so) who was mature and accepting of my life (career, lots of school and kids from a marriage). Rare as in never.

    Finding someone exactly like me was difficult and I think, in the end, would have turned out a bit boring.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted