Gay guys: do you learn to be a top or bottom?

Industrialsize

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As a straight male (probably better described as a bi-curious male), I actually really enjoy anal sex..... as a bottom! My wife regularly uses a strap on on me and I enjoy it. The only thing that I cannot seem to do is accommodate a "realistic" dildo, only the small slim types. I'd really like to play with her with a realistic cock strapped on. Any hints on how I can take a bigger toy?
In my experience, big cocks are far easier to accommodate than big dildos of exactly the same size
 

warren84

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I tend to enjoy bottoming more - having a big cock in my ass pounding away just feels so incredible and doesn't really compare to topping for me. My orgasms are also much more explosive, as the waves of pleasure seem to emanate from my ass, down my thighs and up my chest and back for a few seconds before and during ejaculation.

The only time I've really gotten off from topping was with a Chinese guy when I lived in Beijing who had an amazingly tight ass.

Re what you said about giving pleasure rather than receiving, flameboy, I agree, but for me that means topping a bottom, even though I'm more of a bottom myself. I would be willing to top a guy who was 100% bottom even if I wasn't that into it, just to get him off - especially as I know myself how good it feels! The problem is that I need the favour returned if its more than a one-night stand.:rolleyes:
 

headbang8

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@eastbaydude:

I think that you're not alone in being surprised. Gay sex is a lot more interesting and varied than people give it credit for.

To some degree, all gay sex is improvisation. Different gay men improvise in different ways.

To me, it really doesn't matter what my other half and I do in bed. Just being there, seeing his body, learning its intimate secrets, turns me on. It ain't difficult to work out a thousand new and interesting ways to come--hey, we're guys, remember?

Personally, I hate anal. During the annual checkup, the doc always finds it hard to locate my prostate. Are the two related? Do guys who like being penetrated--gay or straight--have a larger, more prominent, more active prostate? Something to ponder.

HB8
 

Stephenmass

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I think that most people don't enjoy their first anal receptive experience

Boy can I relate to this statement!!

His name was Jake; he loved to bottom for me all the time; no problems that way.

I used to ask him to top me and he'd say no. One night I got him to try it for me, and wish to this day I hadn't!!

It hurt like hell; also hurt the whole next day.

All top here tho I will admit I will occasionally bottom now for my current b/f.

With him for some reason it's different. I enjoy it much more with him and he is just as big if not bigger than Jake.

But that first time? No thanks.
 

Viking_UK

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I started off as a total top, but then got persuaded to bottom. These days, I'm more of a bottom due to my other half being more of a top, but I enjoy both roles pretty much equally. A lot of it depends on the other guy. Some you look at and think, "Oh, I'd love to fuck him," but others, and it's, "Fuck me, please!" I think it's a bit of a shame for guys to limit themselves to one or the other, but each to his own.
 

rockrod

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Wow good topic.

I will trow in my 2 cnts. I always was a top. Not that i do much anal, but if i did i topped. Now i have a bf who´s a top as well and i want to get more bottum, but how to start??

Anyone got any pointers. You can pm me as well.

Rock
 

bigbiboy

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I have never Topped a guy and it has never crossed my mind as any kind of sexual fantasy. It just doesn't appeal to me one bit, I'm just not wired that way. I know my roll in bed with guys and it is always only ever Bottom, Topping really doesn't turn me on in the slightest. I think I was made to Bottom. Even when I'm sleep with a girl I have to have some kind of anal stimulation to turn me on, often a butt plug or dildo. Being anally penetrated is one of life's truest pleasures, where penertrating can some times be a chore.
 

~quicksilver~

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I think a lot of it has to do with how you are wired (physically and mentally) and also the other person that you are with.

My journey to anal sex was interesting as I thought I was straight for my teenage years and fucked women, then discovered men. My first time with a guy I bottomed and it was so bad and painful (he was inexperienced, hasty and very drunk) that I didn't really bottom again for a couple of years after that apart from a few half hearted attempts. Then I had a long term relationship with a very versatile boyfriend who was patient and encouraging and next thing you know we were flip flopping with wild abandon (he, i should add, was a very large boy at 9.5 - 10 inches when most turned on) After I enjoyed bottoming so much with someone so large I was less afraid of bottoming, learned to relax more and now love it.

While I am still versatile I find that the men I am attracted to (older, hairy, beards/stubble, rugged) tend to be tops and/or are more interested in fucking me (slim, cute, younger, boyish) If I am with someone closer to me in age and closer to my own body size I am much more likely to take a more dominant role and want to fuck them.

So in short I think I was wired to be versatile, but had to learn how to enjoy bottoming (which I think is by and large the case with most people)

ps I will top or bottom or be versatile for you CuteGuyLondon :biggrin1:
 

hotbtminla

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Interesting thread. I don't think I "always knew" I was a bottom, though whenever I'd fantasize it was always about me getting fucked or sucking cock. I've tried just about everything, including women. I've enjoyed some things more than others, but during my experimental stage I don't think I had a defined sexuality or preference.

The second time I was fucked up the ass, however, there was no going back. I was lucky to be with a guy who was big but not huge (I got hooked on those later :tongue:), very talented, and very patient. Once I got the full-effect of someone really opening me up and showing me how pleasurable it was (to me) to fully give myself up and get fucked... HBLA was born. :cool:

Er, well, I guess it was more like HBLDN at that time. But you get my drift.
 

TripHammer

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My story is a bit different. I'm not a bottom, but I tend to act like one.
I rarely engage in anal sex, but when I'm rolling around with a guy i love to feel the weight of his body on mine, and i like him grinding on my ass with my knees up by my shoulders. I like to be manhandled some, and that certainly includes grabbing my ass and even a little spank... I just generally act like I want to get fucked.
But when it comes down to the actual penetration, the sensation ranges between uncomfortable and ouchie. I mean I've accessed my prostate with fingers and a slim toy and yeah it's not bad, but not bowling me over. Sure my orgasms are a bit more intense, but on the whole I'd rather have that thing out of my ass first.
But I love the frottage and teasing that goes on with my pseudo-bottomness. I always say the same thing - "I'd love to learn how to be a bottom. I just need a good teacher," which is true. No one I've liked and trusted enough has ponied up.
 

dtownguy

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i myself have always been pretty much a total top; its just what pleases me. and as such, i certainly am gladd that there are total bottoms in the world, but let me ask you a question i have never had answered satisfactorily: if you can please, how is it, with all the tactile sensations and receptors on your dick, that ypu wouldn;t enjoy topping? it re,mains, to me, a mystery
Bottom
Love bottoming.. tried topping on several occasions and did not enjoy it. I love getting pounded way too much to try. Although I will say that versatile would be ideal as you might be missing a great guy just because you don't mesh sexually.
 

OCMuscleJock

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I used to be a total top..but do enjoy a good flip with another hung fella. To me tho...it's not so much what i'm getting as to who i'm giving it to or getting it from. If I'm into the person and the chemistry is there... I'm up for whatever happens. I like making the person I'm with want more regardless of what the "more" happens to be. I like making them happy. Also, I'm never submissive...dominant both as a top or a bottom. Most of the time I'm in the top role...just how it happens I guess. :)
 

F_Man

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I think any man, gay, straight or in-between, can enjoy anal stimulation, if the mind is open. The prostate with its functions, and the nerve endings around the anus, and their possibilities don't disappear whether your mind is open to the idea or not. But bottoming is also a mental state, enjoying the masculinity, power, weight (physical and mental) of a man. I like to top, and actively bottom. But with a CERTAIN kind of guy, there's nothing greater than to bottom:)

There's a really interesting, fun & sexy Italian/Spanish film that has a central theme about a guy realizing he LOVES men, and to bottom, once he's actually forcefully penetrated; "Bambola" http://www.answers.com/topic/bambola-film?cat=entertainment
 

Industrialsize

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Wow good topic.

I will trow in my 2 cnts. I always was a top. Not that i do much anal, but if i did i topped. Now i have a bf who´s a top as well and i want to get more bottum, but how to start??

Anyone got any pointers. You can pm me as well.

Rock
Start by having him stick his dick in your ass...:cool:
 
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I have never thought of top/bottom during my own fantasies. For me it was always about the moment irregardless of how we got there and most often by mutual masturbation.

Being atop a set of gorgeous buns is one of my favorite things, so I would say from that I have always preferred top.
 

bigmuscleboi

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Its interesting that I have both topped and bottomed but my more natural role seems to be a bottom. Theres that unbelievable feeling about a guy rubbing his cock up and down my ass. Then the feeling of having someone inside of me is well, almost a religious experience, not that I am religious. For me to go there is all dependent on whether i am totally into the guy fucking me and most important he knows what he is doing. I love to fuck with the feeling of entering someone and taking over there body but there is just so much more for me when I am the reciever!~!:censored:
 

DenBoy

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Being both bi and versatile, this is a discussion that I have trouble understanding personally. I topped for several years before I had the nerve to try taking one in the shitter, but once I tried it I definitely liked it.

I find that as willing top it is easier to find bottoms, and most of them aren't interested in returning the favor. I used to have issues with bottoming for a guy with a cock smaller than my own, but I'm over that.
 

slurper_la

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I was a total, utter, complete TOP until I was around 38 years old. Then something just happened that made me ease up and want to try bottoming (I don't recall the precise moment or circumstances).

Once I did I realized how much sexual pleasure I was missing. Today it's fair to say I am 50/50 versatile, however given the right circumstances and the right partner I could see myself being a total bottom. I don't think I could ever revert to being a total top.

Anyone care for a test run? :tongue: