Gay guys, please help.

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by vvv888, Dec 16, 2008.

  1. vvv888

    vvv888 New Member

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    So I am a regular reader, just not much of a poster.

    I've been with my boyfriend for four months but never had anal sex. For a long time, I was uninterested in trying it.. but now I think that I'd like to. Any advice? I'm more than a little intimidated by the prospect. My gut feeling is that I'd prefer to bottom, if that helps. Just looking for general advice here about people's first times and what to do/not to do.

    Forgot to mention.. his dick is pretty average lengthwise, although girthy.
     
  2. freakyscboy

    freakyscboy New Member

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    first ...douche your ass a couple of time...use alot of lube,toys and fingers to get your ass use to it..don't feel in a rush to take the dick right away... feel comforable with it...just adjust to it and let him know when u want more in....breath in and out and have fun...
     
  3. kundalinikat

    kundalinikat Member

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    Okay... first things first... have you ever put anything in your ass? Go do that. Some people like fingers. If you don't, don't go sticking your fingers in yourself hoping they'll feel nice. Just get yourself a dildo instead. A normal size dildo, not something ridiculous :)

    This putting-things-in-your-ass thing is important because it helps you realize that, while the ass is very sensitive in certain ways and kinda fascinating in certain ways, it's not magic, it's not going to bloom into a beautiful rose when the right man touches it (well, not immediately) and when you do something a little painful to it (such as use your fingers or toy too hard or fast) it ain't gonna kill ya.

    Also you get to practice Not Touching Things with your dirty hand and/or toy after it's been in a butt, until you've washed it (or wrapped it up in a *ahem* cumrag to deal with later). How fun! Seriously though, once you get used to this part of the etiquette, everything becomes more comfortable.

    Okay... ssssex.

    You may not come or even feel very close to coming, at first. Some guys hardly get there at all. So don't worry about it! Especially early on, you may be thinking about other things entirely, like the cock that's fucking your ass and what that all feels like.

    What will it feel like? Well, he'll have his way with you :) Until you're aware of what makes you come and can guide him into screwing you that way, or if you're someone who doesn't go for orgasm as a bottom, there's nothing wrong with just enjoying his lust and taking it like a good bitch, *cough* I mean bottom. Allowing a man to finish inside you takes a certain amount of submission I think, in the moment, but it is a nice feeling as well to be able to pull an orgasm out of a man, if you really want it, it can have an effect on him.

    Here's the deal, you have a series of rings inside your colon. The first one is the one nearest the outside, your sphincter. Then after you pass by the prostate area which feels really nice when it's with someone you trust, there's another inner ring, and after shortly that one there's another, and another, and so on. These are associated with ever deeper levels of emotional vulnerability. It's perfectly normal (if it is someone with whom you are still building trust, or if it's a bad day for you, or if you just don't feel 100%) that you can let him through some rings but not all. Don't worry about being closed off to him, it's not fun to try forcing it (emotionally or physically). If it's going to happen it will at some point.

    Things to experiment with if you're lost include:
    * Embracing him in different ways
    * Curling your spine
    * Making yourself looser or tighter
    * Trying different metaphors for motion between two bodies: riding him vs. fighting him vs. dancing with him vs. begging for him vs. claiming him vs. ... ...

    You can always breathe faster, hyperventilation helps with pain tolerance, but it's not necessary a good idea to breathe faster on purpose just to make yourself lightheaded because it can bring you out of sync with your guy.

    It is a good idea to start with just a penetration, just sitting on him or having him enter you, and going farther and farther just reacting to the coitus itself, not trying to move back n forth or any kind of thrusting. Try joining as far as is comfortable or for as long as you can stand to do this simple motion rather than something more complex ;) Just breathe and feel really aroused and reallly turned on and enjoy the feelings! I find that this helps because the bottom has no set 'depth' that he can always take, it really depends on his body and his mood and the time of day and everything and on and on, and it helps both of you become more comfortable when you find out first what he is happy to hold on to right now, and THEN start to see how much he can take in stronger motions.

    Unless he's a masochist or really submissive, don't actually hurt or try to injure the bottom, he won't be happy.

    You can never make your dick flare Too full of blood. :) If you bottom out and the bottom still wants more, then fold him up like a pretzel so you can go deeper, or start really vibrating his butt with the force of your hip slams on his tailbone, it's amazing what some thumps up the spine can do to a boy.

    EDIT: LLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUBBBBEEE.
     
  4. Realslik

    Realslik Member

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    I think kundalinikat has summed up almost everything, do as he says, I tried to bottom with my guy but i was too tight, well i was not all comfortable so i could not open up to him, i topped him but he said it was painfull so we have killed the idea of anal,,, :( might try sometime in future though..
     
  5. gmiles18

    gmiles18 New Member

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    This is graphic I know, but true......

    Do you sometimes get a boner when you poop cause it feels good? Then you're probably a bottom
     
  6. Badunkbadonk

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    If someone had told me the following a little earlier in my life, I think I would have had a lot more sex! Here is what I believe to be the keys to enjoying anal sex:

    1. There will be an almost immediate instant OWWWW! moment the first time someone penetrates you. Here's the deal - when they back completely out (because you will beg them to) you're going to feel a bit defeated and maybe even consider giving up. I gave up at that point the first few times, and eventually grew so discouraged that I thought I wouldn't be able to ever do it.

    But if I had only known that if they try again in about 20 seconds, it barely hurts at all until they're a little deeper than last time. And then, once the head makes it past the first ring, it's a RELIEF. And then it feels really amazing to have someone inside you (or at least I think so.) So the trick is to plan for the first startling shock of pain and MAKE that guy back right back out. Then invite them in a second time. They may need to back up about three times before they POP! in and it's all good from that point on. They should not go hog wild and fuck your brains out until you are ready. But that's the best feeling of all, when you have relaxed enough to just go all grunty and animal.

    2.Yes, wash beforehand. Douching can be a little problematic, because sometimes a bit of water gets trapped and doesn't come out until an inopportune moment.

    3. There is always a chance that you won't enjoy it even when it's not painful - some guys just don't get off on the feeling of being "entered." But if you are even slightly aroused by the notion, I can guarantee that once you move past the initial pain-ouch-backthefuckout-okay try again - moment, the rest is progressively more exciting.

    4. As an added bonus - if your partner is horny enough to go at it again, it won't hurt a bit the second time. And if you go at it regularly, the awkward first minute becomes the awkward first 30 seconds, then it becomes the awkward first 10 seconds, and then it just goes POOF! and you're so used to the guy, you could probably fuck standing up in a bathroom with nothing but spit for lube. Don't expect that magical rapport on the first date. But it will definitely happen if you persist.

    5. Another piece of important advice - condoms cause a lot of added friction. Use copious amounts of lube to help . I will not encourage barebacking with a new boyfriend(but have tried it with long term partners...and it hurts a lot less.) When I say use lots of lube, I don't mean two squirts. If it's your first time, you should be fairly dripping with the stuff. Just put a towel down. Don't spread it on like it's low-fat mayonnaise and you're on weight watchers. Think more like spreading a whole lot of jam and butter on a scone and and you're closer to the right proportion.

    To summarize, anal sex gets a bad rap among men because it almost always hurts the first time, and most people won't stick with it long enough to figure out the secret I have generously revealed in item number 1. Some men are uncomfortable or offended by the idea of getting penetrated by another man, and they have every right to avoid it, no matter how much pleasure they're missing. With a generous helping of lube and a patient partner, the sky is the limit! ;-)
     
  7. lgtrmusr

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    [1] my first penetration by a guy was painless. he was an average size guy. the toys that kundalinikat refers to above were the key. first time i put a butt plug up my own ass it was a slow process with an absolutely addictive pain/fullness/pleasure feeling. i also discovered that once in, a normal sized dildo could go in and out painlessly. and i knew, from the dildo experience, that this guy would fit too.

    i had showered and had a small enema before leaving home. we'd had dinner, watched a little porn, had a little beer, and were relaxed together. he knew he was getting my cherry, was slow and careful, used lots of lube and his fingers. he was able to get a couple fingers in me while i was sucking his cock without my realizing he had done so. i had him lie down on his back, put a condom on him, lubed him up some more, and mounted him, painlessly. the riding was great. the thrusting was great. he pulled out so we could jack off together. powerful! i hope your first time is as good or better.

    [2] only two other thought from kundalinikat's post. even with a condom, safe practice is to come outside your partner. the condom protects against infection from precum, from an early spurt, also from an entire ejaculation. but condoms break, slip off at the last moment, whatever. best if the huge hot load is deposited outside.

    [3] finally, to echo kundalinikat again, lots and lots of condom friendly lube. to quote someone long forgotten, "Too much is almost enough."

    Enjoy!
     
  8. toad8it

    toad8it New Member

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    This is a very good topic,very informative.
     
  9. kundalinikat

    kundalinikat Member

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    Rereading this, sorry if I gave the impression that it's A-OK to let any strange man ejaculate inside your body. I've been monogamous that way with one guy for a year now, and we don't use condoms, it rather slipped my mind to mention them.

    Yeah, condoms mean more lube, like a lot more, and make sure that your lube is not oil-based when you use latex.

    We both got tested right away, because I just don't like wearing condoms and prefer to just get dual-tested right off the bat and be monogamous, and also when he wore a condom we wanted each other so hard he would break them ;) That was fuckin HOT, he would just break through them and then we'd have to stop :D
     
  10. surferboy

    Gold Member

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    izzat true bruddah? do bottoms get turned on from goin shi shi?


    with that outta the way brah, there is something you should know. when you do douche yourself, as freaky said, make sure it's not an enema like you get at the drug store. those contain a lot of harsh things, yah? the best thing you can do is get one of those kine bulbs for cleaning out snot from a baby's nose, fill it with warm water, insert and squirt. do this over a toilet! fill yourself up until you feel filled, then let it out. keep doin that until the water coming out your okole is clear. flush between releases.

    and no, i've not had anal sex. honestly, it's not a turn on, be it with one guy or one girl. but my best friend is gay, and i asked him about how and his ex would do it. i always wondered about cleaning out. so, he and his ex told me how they do it, so i'm passin that knowledge onto you. as for the enema thing, i learned that working in the pharmacy where i work. i overheard the pharmacist talkin to someone who takes opiates regularly for pain control. she told the woman not for depend on them because of the chemicals.

    the chemicals, used regularly and often, have lead to colon and rectal cancer. so, as i said, use the warm water in a bulb method.

    also, you said you might be one bottom, yah? well, i say be sure for try both, yah? that's the only way you'll know what you like. experimenting is fun, like how i learned i like just a bit of okole play, but not insertion (my ex was a freak in bed :biggrin1:)

    and listen to the others that have actually had anal. but please, though i've never done anal, listen to my advice, especially about avoiding the enemas on the shelf!


    oh, and have fun bruddah!
     
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