Gay Guys

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by woskxn, Sep 12, 2004.

  1. woskxn

    woskxn New Member

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    First off, .I am very new to the scene. I'm trying to meet some guys but it seems to me that there are very FEW guys who actually have any interest in getting to know me first and then have sex or whatever.

    I've posted some ads and I noticed a huge difference in interest based on what I had in my ad. When I made it originally, I didn't really concentrate much on making it and made it quiet liberal I guess (definetley nothing sex oriented) just that I like to have fun...and soon after I got about 10 messages for purley sex. And originally I didn't really think it mattered what I wrote.
    I saw the messages though and I just thought well these guys obviously just want to have sex..I'm new to the scene and I dont really feel comfortable doing that at the beginning, I'd like to get to know someone, at least abit, and then more after.

    So, I decided to edit my ad, made it much more conservative and now I get very very few emails and I'm sure .this is all because I said I would like to first get to know someone abit, but definetley more if we get to know each other abit.

    So are most gay guys like this? is this how the culture is? are most just interested in sex and thats all?
     
  2. Leanffm

    Leanffm New Member

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    Well, Im now in the scene for quite while. I have to say, most guys are very neurotic. Most of them must have a collection of pics in their head, how many men they had. Its like a trophy.

    I guess, you should write in your ad, that you are looking for a boyfriend. That makes it clear that you actually want more than just become a trophy in somebodys collection...
    J.
     
  3. txquis

    Gold Member

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    Nice post.
    I feel for you, because i was in your shoes about ten years ago,
    when i first came out.
    people wanted to
    sleep with me, not "date", as i had known dating in
    the straight world.

    A friend finally said, "There are gay guys like you
    who want the same thing...but they are at home in
    their apartments not knowing how to find you".

    Lots of gay guys want to be friends, or date romantically.

    You just have to word it the right way in your profile.

    For example,
    i have read things like...
    "IF YOU JUST WANT SEX GO AWAYYYY
    I DONT WANT YOUR EMAILS YOU NASTY NAKED BOYS!!!!"
    :p
    So,
    rather than that,
    you might say something like....
    "Sex is great, but i like to get to know somebody
    first. So, lets chat sometime....
    or let's meet and have coffee"

    try several different sites,
    since different sites attract different crowds.
    Outpersonals is one...
    Gaydar is another...
    Friendster...
    Yahoo Personals....

    Or, get involved in a gay organization of some sort,
    if there is one in your town.

    Good luck, man.
    Sounds like you know what you want and that is cool.
     
  4. hungthick

    hungthick New Member

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    I believe there are many gay men that want long term relationships (which i dont believe in) and LEEANFM said it best that you must instruct in your profile that you want a 'boyfriend' and not a sexual relationship in the beginning.

    I absa-fucking-lootely value friendship over sex any day of the week. But, generally it is true that sex is what most gay men are after. i dont judge anyone for it but i agree with you.
     
  5. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I can only speak for myself, not the majority of gay men. I don't look for boyfriends; I look for friends. If I chat with someone and notice a special chemistry between us, that's great. We might become involved after getting to know each other a bit. If not, well I still made a friend, and that's good too. In my experience, romance happens when you're not looking for it.
     
  6. woskxn

    woskxn New Member

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    DMW..that is what I want. I want a friend first and see what happens. I have friends obviously, good ones, but they are straight (as much as I know) and I cant just say "lets have sex" :D

    Dont get me wrong, I am horny as any guy, and basically, in the end you want and need the sex to be satisfied.

    And to go further, maybe the reason I want to handle this in this fashion is because I am new to the scene and still not comfortable (nobody close to me knows of my status).

    I am certain 100% that if I was comfortable with everything and not new to the scene, I would handle it like most gay guys.
     
  7. Imported

    Gold Member

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    Thanatos: See, that's exactly how I am. I cannot have sex with somebody I don't know. I feel too much like a slut otherwise. The only moments I do that would be if the guy is model quality looking and haven't jacked off for the last week (wich is impossible, being 19 :)).

    I was quite surprised myself when I noticed that most people I picked up only wanted to have sex and never do anything after that. It's fun to realise I'm not alone.

    -edit-
    On another note woskns (or wathever), where did you put your add ? A great place is http://www.gaydar.co.uk, you'll meet a lot of nice people there, so even for chat (since they can sort their search by what the other people is searching for).
     
  8. ericbear

    Gold Member

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    There's a funny thing about getting to be too much of a friend with someone. For me, at least, after a certain point I don't feel right having sex. I guess when I know someone too well the bond progresses to some level where sex isn't possible anymore. It would sort of be like fucking your sister. Alas, there are a couple of cases where we put the sex thing off too long, and now it will never happen, despite how much we both once wanted it. There are others where we started out having sex, but moved beyond that. Not because we tired of it, but because it just didn't seem right anymore.

    The sort of responses you get to an ad depend on where you have posted it. If it's a place that is oriented toward quick sex hookups, than that's the sort of responses you will get. I've actually met friends more through things like boards (like this one) than from an ad. On a board, someone gets to know much more about you by following your posts for a while, so they can better decide just how much common interest there is before making contact.
     
  9. woskxn

    woskxn New Member

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    trying to register at gaydar.co.uk..somehow though it wont take my email..says "Username exists, please try another"..I dont get that..thats not my user, but my email..and its my mine anyways..so what's the difference? :D I've tried a few of my email accounts.
     
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