Gay hitting on Straight

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by MovingForward, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    For some reason, I attracted to a lot of straight guys, or maybe they might be bi, and I dont know it. Anyway, today I saw an old co-worker of mine, that I worked with about 6 years ago. This dude is soooo hotttt, and I wanted to hit on him but I didnt feel right doing that. Are there any others that like straight guys, or actually do hit on straight guys.
     
  2. Magic 8

    Magic 8 New Member

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    MovingForward, use your "gaydar" or if it's broken, get it fixed. It gives the rest of us a bad name when straight guys get hit on by mistake. Sure it's going to happen to the best occasionally, but try not to hit on a straight guy on purpose no matter how hot he might be, that's just wrong.
     
  3. Flashy

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    well, as an average looking straight guy myself, I have only got hit on twice. by an openly gay man once, it happened about 7 years ago at a party and before that, when I was in college, a teammate on my athletic team tried as well.

    the first time, he was a friend of my friend whose birthday party it was, and the party was in her home. He was also there with his boyfriend. both guys were very nice and very average looking, however (let's call him "J") J was sort of very flirtatious and rather effeminate in the stereotype that is commonly played up in main stream TV sitcoms etc. HIs personality was very much like the funny guy on Will and Grace (forget his name). now J's boyfriend "K" was much more reserved and quiet, but a nice guy and interesting to talk to. So the entire night J was hitting on me and flirting with me, which was fine with me as long as it was sort of joking, and I played along, since I am a pretty good sport and would never want to offend anyone, but then I became progressibely more uncomfortable as even though he was joking around he tried to sit on my lap and then hug me and peck me on the cheek and neck etc. I know he was joking and perhaps had a bit too much to drink, so I was a bit happy when he decided to move on to my friend

    It was not really that upsetting to me so much as it just made me a little uncomfortable when he was doing the whole lap thing because while he felt that I was a genuinely nice person, I think he took a bit of advantage of that niceness, and I personally would never hurt someone by jumping at them and being mean. Anyway, once he stopped, I guess he jsut lost interest, he moved on to my friend, who when he has a bit to drunk becomes one of those life of the party guys, god bless him, and gets silly and will do anything for a laugh, so although very straight, he humored J a bit more and let him sit on his lap and made jokes and they got along well and everyone was laughing when J asked my friend to spank him in front of everyone. I thought it was funny and wasn't too terribly bothered by the incident, and afterwards, the boyfriend spoke to me for a few minutes and apologized to me in case I had felt uncomfortable. I told him I really didn;t mind too much and it was no big deal, all in good fun etc. and had a really nice interesting chat with him.

    But I do worry about people like "J", because while I feel it does not necessarily give gay men a "bad name" or "bad image" I think it is playing with fire in that he is going to do that to the wrong person some time... the kind of person that would beat up or hurt just about anyone if someone said the wrong thing to them, regardless of orientation, but would use homosexuality and being hit on by a man as an excuse (justifiable in his own mind) to really harm someone.

    The other time, I was 19 years old, at my college and me and about 6-7 other guys from our team were hanging out, at a house rented by a couple of the guys, and we had all dropped acid a couple hours before...me and several others had experience with it, but one of the guys, who had only even smoked pot only maybe twice, started to really freak out on the acid. He was sort of a dumb goofy jock guy, but had a good heart, and was not one of those mean jock types that are so stereotypical.

    Having experience with LSD, I was a bit worried about him, and when he went upstairs alone and did not come down for a few minutes, I decided to check up on him after I used the bathroom. Anyway, there he was, call him "T", in his room with the door open, and he had taken off all his clothes except for his tightie whities, and he was just freaking out, and crying, and seeing things and was very very upset, so I began trying to talk him down. he was sitting on his bed on the edge, feet on the floor so I sat next to him and said "you're going to be fine...don;t worry....I'm not gonna leave you alone, you are going to get through this (I didn't have the heart to tell him he was going to have another 10 hours to go)...so he was crying, and saying "I am going to die, I wish this would stop, please help me please help me, call Sherry(his girlfriend, who knew absolutely zero about LSD, not a good idea)"

    So I put my hand around his shoulder and said..."you aren't going to die, I am going to help you, I am not going let you have a bad time or die, come one, we're going to get out of this stuffy house and go to the park or the to the quad and hang out on the lawn and play frisbee (middle of the night, but hey it was college and you do what you want) so come on, get dressed, it;s a nice night...come on, we'll call Sherry to come over and meet us..."

    and literally, out of nowhere, he picked his head up and leaned over towards my face really quickly and he tried to kiss me...tongue out and all...well predictably, I just kind of freaked and recoiled really quickly and pushed him back while at the same time saying "T!!!", and I stood up and took a step or two back really quickly ...and he didn't seem to realize and then for a second he was kind of shocked and then he realized what he tried to do, and that really caused him to become very scared and ashamed...so anyway, I was a bit shaken by this, and just then, two of our other friends came in the room, concerned, because they had heard me shout...and said "what's wrong"....by that point T was in a complete panic...he started saying over and over again "What's wrong with me, what;s wrong withm...I just tried to kiss him (me) oh no, oh no...please don't tell anyone"

    so my friends were a bit perplexed, they noticed I was a bit shaken up, and asked me if that happened, so reflexively, I said "yeah but I think he was just freaking out..."

    It was very weird, and to be honest, I was most concerned about the team attitude towards T, if it spread, because especially in the athletic locker room on teams, it could ruin a guys life and many of the guys were not mature, or understanding, or open enough to be able to deal with T if that was the case.

    Nothing was ever said further about it, and I have not seen him in many years, but I think he definitely had some tenedencies, because a couple of months later I saw him at the college Psychology counseling offices, where i went on a weekly basis to rant about how much I hated my father and hated my major and hated blah blah blah...and then I saw him there, he was shocked to see me, as I don;t think he believed anyone he knew would be there...anyway, he said to me..."please don't tell any of the guys on the team you saw me here...I don't want them to know"

    so I siad "T, getting psychological help is nothing to be embarassed about, everyone has problems, and you're much stronger for getting help then by leaving whatever problems you have to eat away at you."

    He said, "just please don't tell anyone....It is hard enough for me to look in the mirror, please don't tell anyone...I don't want anybody to know".

    Though he never specified what he "didn;t want anybody to know", it seemed sort of obvious to me when I thought about it, and obviously, I never said anything to anyone, but even though we were teammates, he never really spoke to me again, barely looked at me and was standoffish with me, as if he couldn't bear the thought that I knew his secret. What's worse for me, is that I was probably the one who would have been most understanding and least likely to judge him, having had a closeted father myself who tortured himself and my family for years and is still doing so, because he still cannot come out or even live the way he wants because of his fears of what others think, even though it would probably finally give him some peace in life.

    Anyway, I haven;t seen "T" in about 15 years....I just hope he has found some peace for his soul, since it seems so obvious all these years later that he was struggling with something he knew he was yet could not handle at the time...

    oh well.


    sorry for rambling.

    :smile:
     
  4. Late Knight

    Late Knight New Member

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    Hey there guy... I'm straight and so far nobody ever tried to hit on me at least in the last few years. But, in the gym, if some guy in the gym/locker room or other place, did... I don't really know what I'd do. At first I might be scared, but still I might be interested in what he was wanting to do. I mean like if a guy just wanted to jack off with or in front of me that might be ok. Kind of depends of the situation and place. I think if he just came right out and said something like he needed to unload or asked if I ever jacked off that might be a start... with me anyway. If he just didn't jump my ass or tried to touch me at first I'd probably warm up to him okay. I mean I like to jack off like any other guy so if somebody wanted to help I guess that would be cool. I just haven't done anything like that since I was about 13-14 with my buddies.
     
  5. HUNGHUGE11X7

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    GAYDAR is an exact science lol , at least in my case it has been.

    I have yet to be wrong. I have had the straightest guys on LPSG contact me saying dude I am "Str8" but love to suck big dicks like yours LOLOL .................. Hello table for 1, party of DELUSION.

    There are so few truly heterosexual men in this world and even less here on LPSG.
    Not quite sure I agree with FREUD but I do ascribe to the androgyny of the soul and the more freedom in the soul the more freedom in sexuality you will find.

    :banana:
    HORSE
     
  6. Nelly Gay

    Nelly Gay New Member

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    No !
    It would amount to harassment and create a bad atmosphere ,as well as, ruining a friendship ...
     
  7. SpoiledPrincess

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    I don't see that making a pass at someone on the grounds you think they might be straight should stop you - like any pass it should be subtle and if you get back off signs then back off, it's only when it's repulsed and someone carries on that it falls outside the bounds of normal behaviour - whether it's a man or a woman I think you're entitled to find out if they feel the same way as you, but no means no whether it's spoken or communicated by body language.
     
  8. No_Strings

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    As a straight guy, I find it pretty funny when a man hits on me, and I'm quite happy to flirt back and tease :smile:

    As for your situation, I would definitely not hit on your co-worker
     
  9. dudepiston

    dudepiston New Member

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    Who ever it was that said 'gaydar' is an 'exact science'?? wtf? How could it be. It's based mostly on intuition and educated guesses, but it IS guesswork. Gay guys & girls cannot read minds any better than straights can. Sometimes mistakes are made....it should NOT be the end of the world. "No thanks" means just that. A gay person should never be made to feel BAD about the emotions behind the flirtation. On the other hand, gay or straight, you come on 'too strong' and you're liable to get shot down.

    Also the original poster said it's an "old" co-worker which I take to mean a FORMER one. I say he's fair game. Ask him out to lunch, flirt a little, see where it goes. He might say 'no' but how will you ever know if you don't ask?
     
  10. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    Way, way, back when I was in the Army I was one who knew himself to be comfortable in both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. Several times I was "hit on" and each time I told the guy that I was flattered but was no fool; after all we were both in the Army and that Army was not yet up to speed on the subject of the varieties of sexual attractions that do/did exist. My advice was: don't be a fool, keep it off-base. Years later at a reunion I was pleased when I was quietly thanked. "You saved me from a lot of trouble." Back then I was no less horny, no less starved for the kind of male and female bonding that I had known, than he. But, hot as he was in his person and starved as I was, I was saved by my reluctance to have sex except with someone to whom I was already bonded in friendship, and that person for me was several thousands of miles away.
     
  11. DC_DEEP

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    I'm not sure what the point is in a gay guy putting moves on a straight guy. If he's straight, he won't be interested. If he is interested, he's not straight. Or am I missing something here? (Don't anyone start in with the "continuum" or "spectrum" argument. That's what the term "bisexual" is for.)
     
  12. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    Well I saw this guy again. This guy is now work for the electric company and goes around my neighboor hood and reads the meter. I think it's fate.

    Although I have never been wrong , thats why I say maybe bi. I have never had a crush or wanted to be with a guy, if I didnt think I had the chance.
     
  13. DC_DEEP

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    :biggrin1: In that case, give him a non-threatening opportunity to make the first move.
     
  14. fri2219

    fri2219 Member

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    No kidding, I've been at dance clubs and had gay guys who just wouldn't fucking take no for an answer. "Uh, I'm straight" ... (inanities deleted) The conversation usually ends when I point out that you probably wouldn't appreciate some misguided idiot trying to "convert you back" to being straight, why the hell are you trying the same?
     
  15. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    i've had str8 men hit on me. sometimes it freaks me out to be honest.
     
  16. DC_DEEP

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    So, if they are hitting on you, how do you know they are straight?
     
  17. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    I've never hit on a guy, but I've had guys hit on me. The odd thing is that the guys who came on to me in the most agressively were guys who I thought were straight. In fact, two of them were real pussy hounds. I think that maybe there are 3 orientations: gay, straight, and sex-crazed.
     
  18. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    All I can say is how I would react.

    For sure it would be a sort of appreciation of my looks, or of my attituide.

    On the other hand it should be clear that an appreciation is the farest he can go without annoying me. I would let him understand a "No, thanks, I have a wonderful girlfriend" and try to be as polite as possible, but clear in the mean time.

    I would never react violently, it's not on my way to approach people, but if he embarassed me, I would close all the ways of communication.

    In any case I wouldn't advise guys to hit on other ones unless they are sure they are gay or bi, or at least straight but not offended my such behaviours, because many are not as polite as I want (and try) to be
     
  19. suprainhabit

    suprainhabit New Member

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    I have always told straight friends who are worried about getting hit on to respond- "Thanks! I'm trying to cut back!" No worries!
     
  20. rob_just_rob

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    I'm with DC on this. If you hit on a straight guy, you're wasting your time. Guys who hit on me might get some clever repartee and perhaps some jokey flirting, but nothing's going to happen. If you're doing it as a way of joking around, by all means go for it... but if you're looking for sex, it's a nonproductive activity.

    I'm well aware of the "I'm-straight-but-I-like-to-suck-dicks" concept. The guy in question here isn't straight, obviously. So sure, hit on the guy who seems to be "straight, but...", but don't persist if he turns you down. Persistent come-ons in the face of rejection are more than a little annoying, especially when the impression you had of him (that led you to make the approach) is incorrect.
     
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