Gay hitting on Straight

[Beanie]

I always find myself falling for str8 guys it really sucks and kinda depressing aswell, especially the guys that i normally fall for are like real str8 and like "im not gay!!" you know. I thought i had gaydar but recently i think i got it a bit reversed? i need help....

 

[D_Lee_Iacuckold]

well would be flirting and hitting on a guy be the same thing? cause when your flirting, its more like hahaha(cant find a better combination of words to explain), but hitting on someone is more blatant. ive never actually hit on a guy. but ive flirted with a lot of them.

recent experience :

i worked with this guy at work and we didnt really "talk" until about 8 months in. he was 34, i was 20. all of sudden, were talking and were flirting, having lunch together, texting,calling,etc..and it was confusing the hell out of me. im like how straight are you? it was to the point that i dont want to say that i fell in love with him, but almost. because this little situation was affecting my life overall, i decided to ignore him cause i couldnt take it. all the time i was thinking if he liked me or not. so ignoring him meant that he turned into a total jackass, and a two-faced bitch. i ended up leaving because of him.

if straight guys cant understand gay people, i certainly can not understand straight guys when it comes to emotions. i can hit on straight guys who i have no real attraction to, and they hit on me because they know that im not attracted to them. i can usually flirt with any guy without getting attached, but a few times, some guys just get to me for watever reason.

 

[D_Foscurinus Ambrosine Freedicke]

I'm usually attracted to str8 men...it is so fucked up! They are just way more my type then any average gay (I consider myself as an avarage gay btw). But it really frightens me when I see this str8 guy that I like and I make eye contact or something, I just get freaked out! Don;t know why...I am a bad hitter I believe
So str8 men are safe from me! Allthough I would like to make out with them, I'm just to shy to make any moves

 

[budbugger]

i dont think you're fucked up different86, but then, i may be fucked up. i don't like to participate in gay culture at any level, but i love and adore men. that is not to say that i don't enjoy the company of gay cultural participants, i just am not attracted to them sexually, and am a bit...hate to use the word...repulsed sexually. i love men, don't know why, just do...and femme guys are not men per se. they ARE anatomically, but not altogether.

now and then, however, i do have latent sissy-esque tendencies, and will bang a sissy boy. wow, that sounded way harsh.

 

[Balljunkie]

Damn, sissy guys get no love. It is so sad, too. Why waste your time trying to bag a straight boy? After the sex, how much do you have in common? Can you hold a conversation about sports? Can you deal with belching, and farting that some straight guys do? Can you deal with wanting to go out and throw the ball around or play a game of 21? Can you sit around and watch sports all day? These are things that my straight male friends do. Yes, they may be attractive because they give into that male fantasy, but I need a gay guy that is a balance of both. We can sit around and talk about sports, and then pick up a magazine and talk about fashion.

 

[psidom]

live and let live!
i would never get mad at someone for wanting to kiss me.
i may not let them...but i sure as hell would not get mad.

 

[fivesalive]

i dunno... one time in particular this girl was unabashedly coming onto me the whole night... and i thought it was more annoying than flattering. but this girl was literally relentless and gave no thought to her personal image...

which makes me say, if you think you look like a fool doing it, you probably are.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

These gay males who hit on straight males should consider this: What if a woman hit on them and was relentless, or even deceitful about it.

Part of me thinks that it's a total waste of time for a gay guy to hit on a straight guy, but part of me remembers some straight guys who hit on me after realizing that I was bi. I find it a very confusing issue.

 

[HotBulge]

These gay males who hit on straight males should consider this: What if a woman hit on them and was relentless, or even deceitful about it.

Women hitting on gay men is not a hypothetical; it happens in life as well. It may place a gay man in an awkward position, but it should ultimately be received as a compliment....

I can't help but to remember an episode of "Are you being served?" (BBC production from the '70s and early 80s). Mrs. Slocum, the middle-aged, multi-colored hair, saleslady pursues with Mr. Humphries, the (not so) ambiguously gay menswear salesman at a London department store. He flits about the place in an evasive manner, but he ultimately confronts her and diplomatically resolves to be friends.... Whatever the sexual mis-attraction, two people should ideally resolve to be on good terms, knowing that the initial attraction was usually innocent.

 

[TxAg]

I wanted to hit on him but I didnt feel right doing that. Are there any others that like straight guys, or actually do hit on straight guys.

It's probably best to wait for him to hit on you. :wink:

Otherwise, I imagine you're going to just end up ruining a friendship because most straight guys will freak out, and those that won't will still probably treat you differently after that.

Unshared sexual interest usually creates tension between any two people.

 

[cfr]

I use to think that I had exceptional gaydar so I rarely ever hit on anyone that was straight and really did not want to. But as I have gained on the age bracket I have noticed like the rest of my senses have become a bit dulling so had the gaydar.

So this is a problem and now that we have metro sexuals and all such male fredoms in clothing and such I really have to watch my step.

I really do not want the title of a dirty old man so I just have a real hard time being myself towards some males that i meet.

 

[LouisVauban]

This thread is terribly disturbing to me.

One the one hand you've got the "terribly nice" straight men suggesting that since THEY were gay-friendly, they didn't mind too much, but "Watch out, you might hit on the wrong straight boy and.... " TRUST ME! Am not a violent person, but if there's any straight man who stupidly cruises me and rushes me because I followed-up on it, I'll LAY THEM OUT! Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't take on a "bad mothu-fucku" - so spare me the condescencion. Gay does not equal non-manly.

And on the other hand, I'm reading gay men who intentionally hit on straight men, knowing they can't have them and causing the rest of us to be held liable.

CRAZY!

The world is full of people. And there are many games. Some straight men are closeted gay men. All gay men love a beautiful man... TO LOOK AT.

To the OP, run with your gut. Sounds like there may be something there. But, be cautious and respectful... the truth will play out as long as you do this.

Cruising is not dangerous as long as you are mindful that the other may not respond. Be respectful if they don't.

I would NEVER INTENTIONALLY hit on a straight guy. But, I will admit to a flirtation here and there. If the person picks up on the flirtation and continues, that's his problem... Have had three straight men in my bed: one was a latent homosexual, one never spoke to me again (and left in the middle of the night) and one said he was just having fun and ran off to his wife the next morning. IT DOES HAPPEN. But, never did I hit on them... it just "happened"

I've said before... I want someone who wants me. And I don't go looking for someone who doesn't. Gay man who INTENTIONALLY hit on straight men give the rest of us a bad name. Get some therapy.

 

[D_N Flay Table]

I love it when gay dudes hit on me, i consider it to be the ultimate compliment.

 

[LouisVauban]

I love it when gay dudes hit on me, i consider it to be the ultimate compliment.

You ARE cute and I WILL flirt.
But, I think it's probably best that we not go any further and leave it this way. <SNIFF>

I hope you'll understand.

 

[Mike0950]

I remember the first time it happened. I was so clueless, I didn't "get" it.. I just thought to myself... "that's a nice guy noticing how hard I'm working out".. I figured it out hours later and burst out laughing at my own naivety

 

[novice_btm]

I love it when gay dudes hit on me, i consider it to be the ultimate compliment.

Well, I've been going back and forth lately, but I've definately complimented you, and now I guess I know why you like me. :tongue:

 

[rasar]

MovingForward, use your "gaydar" or if it's broken, get it fixed. It gives the rest of us a bad name when straight guys get hit on by mistake. Sure it's going to happen to the best occasionally, but try not to hit on a straight guy on purpose no matter how hot he might be, that's just wrong.

What does that even mean? Bad name? (sorry, I don't mean to pick on this particular post...I've been holding off to say something, so sorry! hehe)
Honestly, I'm a person who tends to be attracted to straight guy and I'll openly admit that. I don't have gaydar, nor do I want it! How is it anyone's responsibility to figure out who's gay or who's straight or who's whatever?

What a waste of time life would be sitting there and yearning and constantly being like..."look at him! daaaammn....oh wait, he straight...oh but what about him....dang, straight.....or him....crap, straight again".
Life waaaaay to short for that kind of craziness!

My eyes DONT discriminate. If someone attractive catches my eye, it isn't because they're gay, or straight, or bi....ITS BECAUSE THEY'RE HOT! That's it and that's all!

So, I go up to them and say Hi because I would hate if someone didn't say hi to me because I was gay. Why discriminate against guys who are straight?


Personally, I naturally flirt with anyone who has legs, but I first came out, I was terrified of making someone feel uncomfortable or yahtah yahtah yahtah. But then I realized...honestly, NO ONE CARES. So many guys are just laid back and if you're cool, they're cool. That's what's great about being a guy and liking guys.

If anything, it amazes how many really sweet straight guys are out that either aren't being noticed, etc. and it's really a shame. I think we're at a day in age that even if someone isn't interested, you've paid your compliment the same way straight guys do to girls that may not be interested in them.

I think the thing we all have to remember is fundamentally, despite all out differences in who we're attracted to, we're all still guys and that is something that will always unite us, you know?

So just go out and have fun slick!! (That's to whoever posted the first thing in this forum) And do what feels comfortable and natural and don't just base everything off someone's personal sexual interests.

=) Phew, glad I got that off my chest! It's frustrating seeing people discouraging others from going out and just being comfortable with who they are...I hope my post is at least a little bit encouraging to those of you out there that also find you're attracted to straight guys. You're not, and were never, alone!

Have fun everyone!


"Give. Give endlessly, for if you give to a thief he can not steal from you and he is no longer a theif." -The Human Comedy

 

[ganja4me]

I think rasar made a good point. Even if the guy is 100% straight you might make a good friend out of it.

 

[HazelGod]

I remember the first time it happened. I was so clueless, I didn't "get" it.. I just thought to myself... "that's a nice guy noticing how hard I'm working out".. I figured it out hours later and burst out laughing at my own naivety

You and me both...happened years ago at a wedding. Most of my aunts on one side are nurses, so the reception had a lot of people they worked with. Some doctor came up to me at the keg and started asking how long I'd been working out. Naive little college kid that I was, I stood there and had about a twenty minute conversation with him about exercise regimens and medical school thinking it was small talk.

Well, my aunts had noticed this and when I wandered back over toward the family, they ribbed me quite a bit. I really had NO clue, but they apparently knew him to be very much the 'mo. I just thought he was a nice guy who'd recognized a fellow athlete in a roomful of typical Americans. Live and learn, n'est ce pas?

 

[yngjock20]

Rasar, when a guy says he has "gaydar" it really means that he's worked on his intuition and body language reading skills enough to tell which way a guy swings through his mannerisms and behaviour in certain situations.

Beyond that, "gaydar" can help you in case of a bad situation. If you like men that are more masculine, even straight acting...you can decipher them from a truly straight man who might kick your ass if he found you staring too hard.

Personally, I've been very intuitive from an early age, so I was able to pick up on the gaydar thing quickly. Some guys are more obtuse in the sense that they don't really notice things that may be subconcious actions or slight nuances. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you find that that's you...you should probably stay away from trying to find those "curious" straight guys.

I've had an experience where I was tricked by a straight guy who was obviously a "butchie" but was cruising. It sucked because I can usually catch on to someone who's straight, but this guy was really selling it...bad times.