Gay love, a "fairy" tale?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by wispandex_bulge, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. wispandex_bulge

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    "L" is for the way he looked at me.
    "O" is for the one-eye thrust in me.
    "V" is sensually...oohhh...extaoridinary.
    "E" is even more, yes, GIVE ME MORE!

    Sigh, yes its troubles of the heart. To women and str8 men, I love you much, but I need to hear this from my extended family.

    Gay couples, yoru advice is paramount. I'm looking for love philosophy. I work better with philosophy than advice because with advice you have to reverse engineer the philosophy, with philosophy alone, you can apply and learn.

    I'm a picky guy. Match.com confirmed it. When they had their physical attraction test (which they no longer have, a point I was so sore over that I deleted my profile of their site...), i found that I was more selective about physical appearance than 99% of the population. To make finding a partner even more difficult, I have my fetish to contend with. I have some fetish friends who advised: "Never hide something like this from your bf, it just wont work." Now, of the handfull of people left in the world that can meet those criteria, lets find those that are also interested in similar non-sexual things. I mean, two lovers cant spend ALL their time in bed. Oh just shush...yes, you...I heard that. It's so difficult being picky, but str8 people seem to do just fine. On top of that, I'm gay, there goes at least 85 % of the eligible population, and I'm fairly introverted, a limitation that has no real cure.

    If I had all teh time in the world and no familial baggage, I could devote myself to making one guy the happiest man on earth, but I realize that is a mistake only a fool would make. Besides, I have my own ambitions. I just really want to share them with someone. Sadly, as a societally and emotionally repressed young man, I now have incredibly strong yearnings for things which I dont need, and probably will never have. Big dicks are great, and i doubt I would be as fascinated with them if i wasnt as big myself. Still, its just not societally acceptible anywhere for a boy to chase dick, big or otherwise. I still dream about having a very nice bf with 10+ inches...and before you tell me I suffer deulsions of grandeur, I already know.

    Anyway, that enough for now. What I want to know is: How do gay men find love?...And where can an introverted young man, with a lot to offer and few ways to show it, get his foot in the door?
     
  2. crescendo69

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    Many times what we think we want or need in a partner is changed when we finally meet someone who is quite different but seems to just "fit" with you. You both may still have fantasies and desires that are not completely fulfilled in eachother, but there is a developing sense of belonging to eachother through avenues you never suspected. Try to remain open to those avenues and you may find that finding what you think you need and finding true love are two different things.

    That is about as philosophical as I get, so good luck!
     
  3. LouisVauban

    LouisVauban New Member

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    I had a 2.5 yr relationship with a man in Paris. He was not only an introvert, he had decided at the age of 20 he would become a total hermit... I met him when he was 29 and he had never had sex.

    We have since broken up and he has now moved on. Into a wonderful relationship he never dreamed he could have....

    You may have a starter one... to get you ready. And then, the right man will come along.

    Love is as infinite as the universe. Never think it can't be yours. It is for everyone.
     
  4. DC_DEEP

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    That's probably your greatest obstacle... your fetish would likely be much easier to deal with without your "pickiness."

    Being too narrow in what you consider "acceptable physical appearance" is probably the one greatest cause of people repeatedly picking the same wrong person over and over. It isn't easy, but you can train yourself to be more openminded.

    My current partner (about 6 years, now) probably would not have been the first one I pursued if I went into a bar, some years ago. But I had met and dated and been disappointed with so many flakes, jerks, and assholes that I had given up and resigned myself to the idea of being single the rest of my life. Friends introduced me to this guy, and I thought it would just end up being another friendship. It turns out he really was my soulmate.

    That fits perfectly with my paragraphs above, crescendo. Sometimes going outside the boundaries of what you think is your "ideal" is exactly what is needed.

    Good luck, wispandex!
     
  5. thk8plus4u

    thk8plus4u Member

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    You don't find love.
    Love finds you.
    When you least expect it.

    Corny, but very true. I can attest to it.
     
  6. crescendo69

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    I am so glad about you finding your partner, as I did for 7 years until he passed away in 1999 of heart complications. He was not my "ideal man" when I met him, nor I his, but as we dated, we grew into eachother in a beautiful way. Now the problem is trying to avoid finding another who is just like him. lol
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    It will happen when you least expect it. When you stop making it the paramount of your daily thoughts. When you become the person you would want to be with. It will happen to you, because I think it just happened to me again!
     
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