I have heard the following references for a same-sex spouse:
1.) Husband & Husband;
2.) Spouse;
3.) Partner - usually from older men, who are still not fully comfortable using "husband", due to the lingering effects of homophobia;
4.) Little Man;
5.) The Wife - the guy, who said this was a big, bodybuilding truck mechanic, who had a petite, stay-at-home househusband;
6.) The ball-&-chain.