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Gay Meetup App Not About Hooking Up?

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by kr8zy, Jun 3, 2019.

  1. kr8zy

    kr8zy Cherished Member

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    Are there any gay meetup apps that are NOT about hooking up? I really need to meet new people. I travel frequently, and all I really want to do is find someone interesting to go out to dinner with. All the apps I have tried so far are all about the sex. I don't want that.
     
  2. fuckersplit

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    Maybe Hinge
     
  3. malakos

    malakos Superior Member

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    Sounds like:

    1) You're not looking for hookups.
    2) You move around a lot.
    3) This probably is not about looking for a relationship.
    4) You're primarily looking for a pleasant evening with an interesting acquaintance.

    I wonder why, then, it should have to be with a fellow homosexual man? None of your concerns seem to indicate to me that being necessary.
     
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  4. winesthel945

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    First, all of the apps offer something along the lines of "Networking" or "Friends" as options for designating what you're looking for. While many of them are indeed for people looking only for sex, or mainly for sex, there are plenty of people looking to make friends. Maybe less on Grindr, but certainly apps like Scruff have a wider array of options.

    The key is: BE CLEAR IN YOUR COMMUNICATION!

    Want to meet somebody for a no-sex dinner date? How about a profile headline that says: "Dinner first?" Then explain in the body of the profile exactly what you're looking for. Don't give mixed signals by giving your cock size, or using a shirtless photo. And when you message someone, don't say "Hey sexy!" And when you're chatting, don't get to flirtatious if that's not where you're going, because... again... mixed signals!

    That said, there are apps that are less "thirst driven," ones like OK Cupid, Tinder, etc.

    Finally, although it's not an app, you could look for activities in your area on meetup.com. Depending on where you are, there may be a number of gay events that are decidedly non-sexual in nature.

    Personally, I have made some excellent friends via all the apps without ever having the question of sex come up... and it was always because I was clear about what I was looking for, what I was NOT looking for, and I never confused folks or muddied the waters.
     
  5. kr8zy

    kr8zy Cherished Member

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    I have thought about that myself. But what it comes down to is it is awkward otherwise. I don't have better way of describing it, maybe it is just a comfort level thing, maybe it is just a function of not having to watch what you say or do, maybe it is just common ground.
     
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  6. ohiorod

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    That is excellent advice regarding mixed messages and muddied waters! I remember once I was just looking to meet some gay friends in a new area and 90 percent of the responses had a dick pic and close ups of their assholes. I never responded to those guys.
     
  7. Trickcyclist

    Trickcyclist Sexy Member

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    I've been in a similar dilemma - tired Gaydar with the explicit information that my partner and I were only looking for friends - it was pretty much a disaster, so I ended up setting up a Meetup group, explictly saying it was about meetups, not hookups. This worked well, and we ended up with a large group who would meet frequently for beers, dinner or walking groups. The best group for this I came across was "outintheUK" but that was 15 years ago now and don't know if it still exists. It was pre Facebook, but was similar in being social networking site, but explicitly not for hook ups. It was brilliant. If you can't find what you want, I'd recommend trying Meet up.
     
  8. kr8zy

    kr8zy Cherished Member

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    Where I live (spend a majority of my time, anyways) we do have two groups. It is the samegroup of guys each time, and can get a little cliquish, but it is something.

    Unfortunately that doesn't often work when you are traveling, especially if you havn't had the opportunity to do a lot of pre-planning.
     
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