Gay Men and Size

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Apr 17, 2005.

  1. Imported

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    ensignkc: I'd like to pose a question to other gay men on the boards; how important is size in initial attraction? I'm not hung, but, before I began sexual activity with men, at least believed I was somewhere in the range of "average" (whatever that is!). But since then, the majority of my experiences have been with men who placed a premium on endowment and have been vocal in their disappointment with me. I've only been active with men for the past two years, and my experience has not been extensive, but I was curious as to whether this was the norm in gay life or just my own limited experience. I'd appreciate any advise or input people could provide. Thanks :)
     
  2. Sabln7

    Sabln7 New Member

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    When I was younger, I really looked for size in a man's penis. That is no longer as important to me. The man and his attitude are more important. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate a large one! I do. But, sometimes they are difficult to take orally and anally. Very small ones can be satisfying if the man loves other things--cuddling, kissing, holding, even a few kinky things. I like them all.....
     
  3. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    Ensignkc: Regarless of penis size, it would be far below lots of more important qualities in my search for a relationship. Even the one-night-stand selection wouldn't totally depend on dick size. I wouldn't be able to focus on the main object if face, body, cleanliness, along with attitude, didn't measure up to my standards. Don't throw in the towel based on your previous experiences because I can't believe I'm all that different from other gays. Hopefully, future experiences will soon cause an about face in your rather dismal prospects, my friend. :)
     
  4. dickbulge

    dickbulge New Member

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    I top in anal sex with most guys so endowment is sorta secondary to what I'm looking for. Personality, style, "look", good attitude are what make a guy sexy when I'm on the prowl. Well, a muscular bubble butt too.

    I do like to suck cock but, as someone said, bigger is not better when it comes to oral. Frankly, a guy who aggressivly and emphatically enjoys having his cock sucked, even of a less than average size, can be helluva lot of fun. As a friend said to me long ago in regards to really big dicks:"What can you do but run around and bark at it".

    Maybe adjust your own attitude. Insist on respect and you'll get it. Be a little more aggressive and show those guys you have the best damn piece of meat on the street. Be a little selfish, get in touch with your own body, and try to get maximum sensation and pleasure from what you are doing or what is being done to you! When they fall back panting and cross eyed jump them and return the favor!

    Most of all don't let some jaded faggot's caustic comments get you down. Its part of the self-hating habit we get into and is meaningless. Remember you're proud, happy, and the best damn sex he's going to find!
     
  5. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Truthfully, I decide whether or not I'm attracted to a man before I ever see his cock. I don't say, "I think I might be attracted to you; whip it out so I can be sure."
     
  6. 714goodguy

    714goodguy Member

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    I could be very happy with a man with an average sized penis. A big penis would be fine too. But, there are size queens out there who only want a hung man. If you've only been with that type of man, I feel bad for you. Trust me, most men would be happy with an average penis. Heck, odds are very strong that their dick is average in size too; so who are they to demand a big cock?
     
  7. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    well okay then, they're assholes. unfortunately they're a substantial and apparently growing minority (and believe me, it's equally annoying to those of us on the OTHER end of their judgmental spectra, albeit for the opposite reason). I can't really offer any advice of my own except to point out that anyone who attaches THAT much importance to dick size is probably not someone you really wanna waste too much time on.
     
  8. Imported

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    kracken: Really, the only thing I can say is that penis size has never been all that important to me when it comes to sex. It doesn't matter how big someone's penis is because, chances are, they are a bigger dick, personality wise.

    I didn't have sex until I was 33. I always grew up with the belief that if you didn't have an 8+ penis, people would laugh at you. It wasn't until I started having sex that I was told numerous times, that what I have would be more than enough.

    let me tell you, that was a big relief. :D

    To me, there are a lot of other things that are more important than penis size.

    1) How friendly is the guy.

    2) How outgoing is the guy.

    3) Does he have a job? Don't laugh, you'd be suprised at how many gold diggers there are out there.

    4) Is he what I would call attractive.

    5) Is he passive aggeressive.

    Frankly, personality is the first thing I notice.

    Size queens drive me up the wall. As soon as someone tells me that they are one, I don't have anything to do with them. It's all for the search for the bigger, better deal.

    Luckily, I have found someone who appreciates me for me, not my penis and I sure am glad that he and I are SO compatible.

    Kracken
    Jewish, Republican & Gay - - - And you thought YOU had problems. B)
     
  9. taven

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    I'd have to say, Kracken, you sum it up for me . I'm not Jewish or Republican, but am Jewish empathetic and gay. I don't consider those two to be problems, though.
     
  10. jonb

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    LOL Yeah, us heteros are lucky in this area. We care about something too big to really hide. Well, unless she's wearing a burqa.
     
  11. tightfit

    tightfit New Member

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    For me, the initial attraction is looks. I cannot define what I find attractive because the men I am attracted to are all so very different.
    The size of his penis has absolutely no relevance for me.
     
  12. LuckyLuke

    LuckyLuke New Member

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    In my experience, younger gay males tend to be rather curiously 'size queens'. This seems to be a bit of a passing phase amongst a fairly large number of them - though of course, some remain so all their lives. The majority seems to develop much more healthy and realistic expectations as they get a bit older and a bit more experience.
     
  13. Kimahri

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    Well, let's see. Depends I suppose. I'm not a size queen. Since I'm trying to work into being a vers top, having some of our foot long LPSG members will not be a good experience. For me at least. :) Anyway, I have been attracted to guys that have later turned out to be very small or way more than I can handle (fortunately, they were bottoms).

    Penis size is more of an intimidator to me than anything. Sporting a 8 x 5.75 piece here, I'm on the receiving end of being turned down because of size. Which is interesting because I got caught playing someplace by a gay porn director years ago and she told me my penis was the perfect size for even the most discriminating of queens. I love that statement.

    If there is anything I "hope" for from a guy is an impressive orgasm and ejaculation. Neither of which can be told from penis size.

    As I've gotten older, my interests in guys has broadened. I'm currently dating a man nearly 17 years my senior and have no real regrets about it. We're hung about the same, though I think he's a little thicker. On the other end, I hooked with a bodybuilder type and he was on the much smaller end.

    Personally, I just think it's an excuse to turn down someone that certain types of gay men don't want to be involved with. I've been interested in plenty of guys that had no interest in me. They compliment me and then politely said I'm not what they are looking for. While disappointing, it's not a major blow because that's something you can accept. Being told your penis is not big enough is a bad situation because we really have no control over that situation.

    Be careful though, IMHO...the size queens are often the ones with expensive tastes, lame jobs to back them with, several bad experiences they won't tell you about (get tested) and are notoriously fickle. It's one thing to be turned on by a huge cock, another thing entirely to judge a man based on it.

    I suddenly feel better about myself. :)
     
  14. Child_of_the_sun

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    Well... I dont know what to say, are all size queens this evil?

    I meen I wouldn't call myself a size queen because its by no meens the most important thing I look for but it is on my "list" of important attributes, I dont know why exactly. But I have noticed that when and if I find out a guy is well hung he is more likely to win my interest, its like... if a guy is sweet great, kind to me and attractive but with a avarage dick I wont turn him down but if he were hung it would be a wild bonus. also if a guy who was horrible and nasty and had a big dick... he would not get a piece if me :9

    this is more complicated to explain then I thought.... A big dick is a bonus but in by no meens neccessery for a good fuck, it just happens to be a fetish of mine so when a guy is hung he is much more likely to hook up with me, so its just a personal thing of mine and I sincerely hope that not many guys have that :( its a very awful thing to be plagued by... :(
     
  15. DC_DEEP

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    Ensign, thank you for you post. Everyone makes good points in their replies. What you really need to do, though, is make sure first and foremost that you actually like yourself. I don't mean your physical attributes, but yourself as a whole person. Second, everyone gets turned down for some reason or another. Don't let a couple of flakes/jerks/idiots shape your self-esteem. Third, if you seem to keep meeting the same person, over and over (just in a different shell) then examine what qualities you are looking for in another person that keeps attracting you to the wrong person. My partner and I are both about the same penis size, and have a fantastic sex life. However, we are both intelligent, honest, and trusting, so in the right circumstances, we each allow the other the freedom to examine our fantasies and fetishes. He is more into the leather/BdSm scene than am I, and I do have a fetish for well-hung. Unfortunately, I am not successful so far at finding a 10+ incher to do my occasional fetish-fuck; fortunately, we do often find boys (state of mind, not age) who like to play on the wild side. Keep looking, and don't lose hope, and DON'T KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES!

    Bear hugs to ya!
     
  16. likethembig

    likethembig New Member

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    I have been in a relationship for 15 1/2 years with a great guy, and we are about the same average size. around 6 X 5.5. I realize my name on here "likethembig" is really mis-leading, I guess I like the fantasy of a big dick to look at, especiallly when I'm having "alone time". Before I met my partner I dated a guy with 13 inches and thick, in retrospect It wasnt' that much fun, really he wasn't that much fun with it. He had the attitude that it was big enough to not have to work that hard at the "business" of lovemaking.

    BORING!
     
  17. Kimahri

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    Ok, to correct what may look like a judgemental thing. That's all my opinion based on my experiences. We as people are not fond of things that upset us or offend us.

    :shrug:
     
  18. hungniceblack

    hungniceblack New Member

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    Ensignkc,

    I think you have raised a sensitive subject, as demonstrated by some answers that I don't believe completely straightforward. My opinion, which based on my own experience, is that the gay circle is very size oriented, especially when it comes to date a guy in order to have sex with him. I don't mean that all gay people are focused on big cocks, but I have got many examples of men who are very successful simply because of the size of their manhood. Maybe Europe, where I live is different from the US...However, from my recent visit in New York, I tend to think that this inclination to big dicks is the same (at least in this city) as it is in Europe and even more pronounced. I am not judgemental, but I just recall that we are in a site which openly support the large penis group, and I personally doubt that most of the gay members here depart from the real world.
    This said, I fully agree that the cock size SHOULD not be the parameter when dating a guy. Though I confess that I myself like big cocks, I refuse to make size the parameter for my sexual relations. Brain normally helps making the difference between preference -a positive orientation- and discrimination- a reducing exercise-
    Last year, I visited Berlin and I met a guy in the darkroom (not so dark though) of a discothec. I guess from his attitude that he approached me because of the story that most black men are supposed to have a big cock. When he realised that I have one, he became very angry towards other guys who attempted to touch me and started fighting openly against them. This over-aggressivity upset me so much that I leaved.
    To sum up, yes, size matters. But being or becoming a size queer is simply sad...
     
  19. jimmyjoejeater

    jimmyjoejeater New Member

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    Hi, I'll give you my oppinion on this from the other side of the coin so to speak, 99% of the men who have shown interest in me have shown that interest because of my penis size. It isn't until after their thrill of finding a man with a large penis has warn off that they realize that their is this person behind it with his own way of running his life and beliefs that may or may not match their own. I call these men size queens and have learned that they are only good for a fuck or 2. LOL! I no longer loose sleep over the fact that these relationships don't last.

    As for the men who are vocalizing their dissapointment with you, I am disgusted! I would never be able to face myself in the mirror again if I did that to someone regardless of how small the penis. In fact all but 3 of the men I have played around with were what I would concider small in endowment (4" or 5"). Perhaps these men couldn't tickle my tonsils while fucking me but they all had positive attributes and those are the things I look for in a man. To do otherwise in so superficial.

    I am so sorry that you have had to put up with these insensitive jerks and I know you can do better. Keep the faith and keep trying.

    Jimmy
     
  20. dickbulge

    dickbulge New Member

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    I understand what you're saying and that's one reason this site has thousands of members but relatively few posters. People come here for the pictures and to sort of eavesdrop because they are fixated on size. We call them "lurkers".

    But I also think most people, like yourself, can distinguish between fantasy and reality. They do "depart from reality" when they visit this sight and they can hold completely seperate attitudes about the real persons they want to spend time with. Hey, Hungniceblack, I've spent lots of hours in back rooms my self so I'm not judging, but speaking from experience, that's not a very good place to do research!

    This site in addition to being a shrine of bigness is also a good source of info, facts, speculation, and advice on being male. Not to forget the female perspective too. It's "support" in that sense.

    Besides, how do you account for all the straight members on this site? I suggest that an interest in large peni is just that: an interest, like an interest in cars you'll never own. Doesn't do any harm but it's fun.
     
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