Gay Men and Size

[yaoifun]

I personally don't care if the guys cock is big or not, it's personality that hooks me at the start. Then again, I'm still a vergin, but even so, personality is what gets me, not the size of some random piece of flesh some random guy has.

 

[zzorus]

Originally posted by yaoifun@Apr 20 2005, 03:06 PM
I personally don't care if the guys cock is big or not, it's personality that hooks me at the start. Then again, I'm still a vergin, but even so, personality is what gets me, not the size of some random piece of flesh some random guy has.

[post=302392]Quoted post[/post]​

Good to hear this wise comment from a young person!

 

[Onslow]

I myself have never gotten into a relationship based on penis size, however I do know a few guys who say that size is a major factor for them. They say this but I don't know if it's really true for anything beyond a quickie.

For me it's always been the initial appearance of a man. Something grabs hold of my insides and starts my heart a-twittering and there it is--INFATUATION. Good old fashioned lust. I have never based it on a size of a guys penis (although a nicely prepared package can grab my eye it won't hold me for any time). Over the years there have been small, average, large and huge but the physical attraction for me was always their body structure. A little on the heavy side-hefty or husky as it was once called and preferably a little taller than me (within reason). A furball always works for me, hairy arms, legs, chest etc. and I'm hyperventillating . Some whiskers on the face and I get extremely light headed. Bald is okay as well as full head of hair, although I'm not a big fan of long hair on men. Strange how the issue of genital size has never been a concern to me. I may need some psychotherapy to figure out what that's about.
Now, putting all that aside, there are other matters as well when it comes to serious relationship wants. The guy has to have a personality of some sort. What would the purpose be to a 14 incher if the guy was brain dead or a vapid asswipe?
I've been with one man now for a few years (and don't anyone get started again on my sideline oral romps with others-Ray knows all about it and it really is nobody elses business no matter what others may want to say or think) the point here is that I was never attracted to this guy for much in the way of physical attributes. He had a thick mustache and a smile and a certain charm. Somewhere about a year after we first moved in together I was looking at him one night and asking myself why him? Here was this pudgy, fat bellied, barrel chested, scrawny assed, bald guy who was 3 inches shorter in height than me (and I'm not even an average heighted man) who had bad breath and yet I was in love with him. It registered with me that it was who was inside him. His soul and charm. His this and that (especially his that). His caring and acceptance of himself even his occasional faults.

No, I can't say that penis size was ever a factor.


(And for the record Ray got his breath problem cleared up after he went to a dentist who a little too happily pulled his teeth. Who knew rotting teeth could cause bad breath?)

 

[ziggity]

i've got a lot less to say on this matter...

i'm part of the 'queer' demographic but i'm not 'gay' per se...

but i couldn't really care less.. my ideal is anything around average. if you're not around average cockwise, well, who cares anyway. i'm only worried if it's microscopic or absolutely too big to fit anywhere.

 

[Pappy]

How many people even know penis size before you get to know someone?? I mean I know you can judge by looking and sizing up the bulge but is that always an accurate indicator?? Who cares about dick size, as long as it works and it's owner isn't one then everything is good.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I suppose a lot of it boils down to what the involved parties are looking for. For example, where do you meet these guys? Random in a bar? Or a meeting of a special interest group? In the local college library? If you are wanting a relationship, and he is wanting a quick anonymous fuck, there will obviously be differences of opinion. I met my lover at a leather club meeting. I personally had no particular interest in or aversion to leather, just went with some friends. I just happened to meet a guy there who was intelligent and interesting, and had a lot of other common interests with me. I'm sure it happens, but most guys you meet in a bar are not relationship material - either just hanging out with friends, or looking for a trick. Some things were facilitated in the old days of the "hanky code" where wearing a bandana, of a specific color, in the back pocket, indicated your interests. Just a thought.

 

[13788]

Goon: For me the attraction always starts with chemistry, the kind you feel before you can try to explain away why you are attracted to someone. It starts with their eyes...they draw you in and then you can feel them. For me, without chemistry everything is mechanincal regardless of how big their cock is. The most amazing sex I ever had along with the deepest emotional attachment (before my present partner) was with a really, really sexy, intense guy I met in a bar. The cock was average, brown and uncut and I was whipped for 7 years. I came out in Los Angeles, the city of "types". Somehow a rumor got around that I only liked Latino guys because my first boyfriend was Mexican. Well, this was partially true but not the whole story. For a long time I was approached almost exclusively by Latino guys and so I got a rep of being a "bean queen". I found out later that perfectly good, adorable, sexy white boys steered clear of me because of my "type".

So, to me a big cock is frosting on the cake. My current bf is tall, white and hung.

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by Goon@Apr 22 2005, 02:11 PM
For me the attraction always starts with chemistry, the kind you feel before you can try to explain away why you are attracted to someone. It starts with their eyes...they draw you in and then you can feel them. For me, without chemistry everything is mechanincal regardless of how big their cock is. The most amazing sex I ever had along with the deepest emotional attachment (before my present partner) was with a really, really sexy, intense guy I met in a bar. The cock was average, brown and uncut and I was whipped for 7 years. I came out in Los Angeles, the city of "types". Somehow a rumor got around that I only liked Latino guys because my first boyfriend was Mexican. Well, this was partially true but not the whole story.

[post=303312]Quoted post[/post]​

Theres a Stevie Nicks song in there somewhere........or maybe i'm just thinking that "The Rooms are all on fire"

 

[zzorus]

I've been with one man now for a few years (and don't anyone get started again on my sideline oral romps with others-Ray knows all about it and it really is nobody elses business no matter what others may want to say or think) the point here is that I was never attracted to this guy for much in the way of physical attributes. He had a thick mustache and a smile and a certain charm. Somewhere about a year after we first moved in together I was looking at him one night and asking myself why him? Here was this pudgy, fat bellied, barrel chested, scrawny assed, bald guy who was 3 inches shorter in height than me (and I'm not even an average heighted man) who had bad breath and yet I was in love with him. It registered with me that it was who was inside him. His soul and charm. His this and that (especially his that). His caring and acceptance of himself even his occasional faults.

[post=302488]Quoted post[/post]​

[/quote]


That's a nice story, Onslow! Good on you both.

 

[husky14620]

I fall for the eyes, the hair, the personality. If he's hung, that's fantastic.
I admit to preferring "hung" guys, especially since I prefer other things which make bigger a plus, but if he doesn't have the rest, who cares about the package.

Sometimes you can just look into someone's eyes and melt. But all a big dick does is make some other part of my anatomy itch. Sure, if I'm melting already, I really appreciate having that itch scratched. But it isn't a prerequisite.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Personally, if I were to have sex with a guy, Id prefer they were equal size or slightly smaller than me, Id feel inferior if he whiped out an 11"er and my paltry 7" was overshaddowed

 

[13788]

RLS: I say this all the time to my friends: Big ones are fun to play with, but don't amount for too much else. I don't really care how big the guys dick is, because my initial attraction is based on looks. I would never, NEVER make a negative comment to a guy about his size in bed or afterwards. What kind of asshole does that?

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Originally posted by RLS@May 11 2005, 10:27 PM
I would never, NEVER make a negative comment to a guy about his size in bed or afterwards. What kind of asshole does that?

Trust me, I know some guys who refused to have sex with guys they picked up when they found out about their penis size. It's callous and superficial, but that's okay: word gets around and even endowed guys often shun such overt size queens.

 

[husky14620]

Originally posted by ensignkc@Apr 17 2005, 03:14 PM
I'd like to pose a question to other gay men on the boards; how important is size in initial attraction? I'm not hung, but, before I began sexual activity with men, at least believed I was somewhere in the range of "average" (whatever that is&#33. But since then, the majority of my experiences have been with men who placed a premium on endowment and have been vocal in their disappointment with me. I've only been active with men for the past two years, and my experience has not been extensive, but I was curious as to whether this was the norm in gay life or just my own limited experience. I'd appreciate any advise or input people could provide. Thanks

[post=301467]Quoted post[/post]​

I am probably atypical, in that I would rather remain alone and celibate that "settle" for someone who is not my soulmate. That said, I would prefer that my "soulmate" be well hung, within limits, primarily because I prefer to bottom, and, as I said earlier, like to have a certain deep itch scratched. But then again, a perfect match would be a 40 to 45 year old, blond, blue-eyed, beach "bum" type, who would fall head over heels for me... That said, some of the men I have "dated" weren't anything like that EITHER, just as many of them weren't hung. In fact, most weren't either. The sex was usually, not always, better with the ones that were hung, but it's still what you have to talk about OUT of bed that makes a relationship work. I only ever picked one guy based on size alone, and he gave me the crabs. Some, including myself, would call that justice.

 

[wispandex_bulge]

Originally posted by husky14620@May 11 2005, 11:01 PM
I am probably atypical, in that I would rather remain alone and celibate that "settle" for someone who is not my soulmate. That said, I would prefer that my "soulmate" be well hung, within limits...

[post=310329]Quoted post[/post]​

Actually I totally agree with that first statement. I'm not a bottom but am very much versatile and would love for my bf/partner to be well hung. The thing is ive never really foudn my limits of what I can take. I do know that a big dick is a huge turnon for me, but so is spandex. In the end its hard for me to tell who I will be most attracted to, however im sure I can do without a big dick longer than i can spandex. Thats another tricky element: finding a guy who shares or can at least tolerate yoru fetish.

Now, as a final note, I would liek to go back to my post about what frightens me off. I said that size queens frighten me off. Its one of the bad things about being decently well hung. I have ppl ask about my dick which I flat out refuse if that is the case... I definitely act like a size queen at times but dont really consider myself to be one. I'll admit ive asked guys about their size, but generally its when a guy is borderline--as in there are attractive things and things I coudl take or leave--when im undecided about a guy a nice dick can make all the difference in the world. Its all about the total attraction. Then again I'm young...but why should I settle even now?

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper@May 11 2005, 06:01 PM
Trust me, I know some guys who refused to have sex with guys they picked up when they found out about their penis size. It's callous and superficial, but that's okay: word gets around and even endowed guys often shun such overt size queens.

[post=310287]Quoted post[/post]​

Actually, in a casual-sex context, I wouldn't mind overt size queens, simply because it's not love, and you'd have to be very naïve to think it is love.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Originally posted by jonb@May 13 2005, 04:21 AM
Actually, in a casual-sex context, I wouldn't mind overt size queens]

Jon, please tell me that doesn't mean that you're going to toss me aside like an old overcoat!

 

[hung9mike]

The poster who started this thread asked:

Originally posted by ensignkc@Apr 17 2005, 01:14 PM
how important is size in initial attraction?

[post=301467]Quoted post[/post]​

I think there always has to be a physical attribute that makes someone attractive to someone else initially; maybe for some gay men it's "size", for others, maybe it's a good looking face, muscles, stockiness, hairiness, hair color, eye color, etc. Or some combination of the above! Some guys might be fixed on "size", IMHO it's their loss, there are a lot of physical attributes that men have that can make them attractive. I think the physical attribute is the "hook" that draws you to someone. But it's no more than just a hook-- whether or not you'll "bite" is dependent on the chemistry (the compatibility) you have with that person. I think there are two elements (physical and personal) to this process, and if you only have one without the other, there will be no sexual attraction.

Things become more complicated when you start to think about what it takes to build a relationship beyond the initial meeting!

 

[Landshark77]

Originally posted by kracken@Apr 18 2005, 12:32 AM
Really, the only thing I can say is that penis size has never been all that important to me when it comes to sex.  It doesn't matter how big someone's penis is because, chances are, they are a bigger dick, personality wise.

I didn't have sex until I was 33.  I always grew up with the belief that if you didn't have an 8+ penis, people would laugh at you.  It wasn't until I started having sex that I was told numerous times, that what I have would be more than enough.

let me tell you, that was a big relief. 

To me, there are a lot of other things that are more important than penis size.

1)  How friendly is the guy.

2)  How outgoing is the guy.

3)  Does he have a job?  Don't laugh, you'd be suprised at how many gold diggers there are out there.

4)  Is he what I would call attractive.

5)  Is he passive aggeressive.

Frankly, personality is the first thing I notice.

  B)

[post=301622]Quoted post[/post]​

You forgot to put "Does he have good teeth".

 

[txquis]

My attraction happens before i see a dick.......
but....I think many of us also say, in the back of our minds, "i hope he
has a nice dick.....or a hot ass.....or.." whatever turns us on.

Men are turned on by a "visual", and i understand that size is a factor
for many of my gay friends.

I suppose the question is, would i turn someone down because they
*arent* hung? Of course not...if I was attracted to them.