Gay men did you move away from where you grew up?
- Thread starter Mem
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Yes. And I prefer being where I am than in my own country even though I'm making less money here.
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crescendo69
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Part of being Queer is the exodus from where you have been , where you are from. I have lived in many " gay places" , London , Key West, New York, San Francisco . This past Christmas I moved the farthest away from my family , I stayed right here in the same town and ignored them. Wow , what a great Christmas
Yes I did, and not because of being gay at all...
When I was in seminary I lived in Baltimore, Maryland (2 years).
Then I came back home.
My first two apartments were in my home town in a northwest suburb of Chicago. I was totally out and I had no problems. I did develop more friendships in the city, that's Chicago. So, I moved there and lived there for seven years. I loved Chicago and I thought I'd never leave. All of my family comes from Chicago and a majority of us live in the Chicago area. But the dotcom bust happened in Chicago as it was happening in the Bay Area and I didn't want to change careers. So I had to look into moving to places where others didn't want to live to find work in my field.
Then I moved to Davenport, Iowa because I got an offer I couldn't refuse. It was a much higher salary doing the same thing I had done in the dotcom world in Chicago (at one time called "The Silicon Prairie"). After 9/11/2001 everything changed and the market took yet another dive. In the beginning of 2002 my company had a loss and had to let go of we the contractors.
So, I decided to go back to school to become a therapist. Which is what I wanted to do since I was about 23 (I was 32 and living in Iowa when I finally made the decision. I found the perfect school for me and I moved to Oakland, California.
I, never in 1,000,000,000,000,000 years would have EVER thought that I would even consider moving to the San Francisco Bay Area, honestly. I am a Midwesterner at heart, even still. I still miss it. When I first moved here, I loved the school and that is what kept me here. I HATED this area. It was too expensive. The people were cold and superficial. The cultural depth is lacking here. And it's almost impossible to find anyone decent to date here. Sometimes it seems like anyone who might have anything together is out for sex only because there are so many choices here. And that leaves the crazy ones to date.
Thus, I'm single for the longest time I've ever been single in my life as an out gay man. I even had a lover in Iowa, and we still love each other and talk often. We miss each other very much. We never "officially" broke up. I had to leave because I had to go to school. He couldn't follow. He owned his own business and couldn't move it. He sold the business a while back, went back to New Orleans where he was originally from. He survived Katrina and now he resides in Green Bay, Wisconsin (because he got a sweet job offer there from someone who knew him and knew that he was on Louisiana with no prospects because of the Katrina devastation).
We would like to get back together. I have to finish my licensure (as a Marriage and Family Therapist) here in California because that will make it easier for me to get another license in another state if I choose to move to be back with him. He still doesn't want to leave the Midwest. He loves the Midwest and regrets having moved to New Orleans briefly. He has considered the possibility of moving here to California. But, it's ridiculously expensive to move here and neither one of us can afford to move him and I cannot support him here while he looks for work.
So, I stay here. I do have friends (finally) here who I dearly love. Two of my dearest friends are moving to St. Petersburg, Florida in June because they can actually afford to buy a house there, which is an impossibility here where real estate is priced beyond reality. So when they leave, I'm not so sure how long I'll last here.
I might try to convince my guy to move with me to Chicago where I know I could find work in my field because I still have connections there and my family is there. He likes Chicago and he could find work in his field there and he'd be happy because Chicago has winter (he loves winter).
Anyway, I have to say that being gay hasn't affected any of my decisions about where I live. I've never wanted to live in a "gay ghetto" with white guppies (gay yuppies). So I've never lived in Boystown in Chicago or Castro in San Francisco. I like living with everyone else, and I find acceptance no matter where I go. And yes, I find hate too. Then again, when I've visited Boystown and Castro are the times where I've experienced the most hate speech from straight people shouted at me randomly.
OK, this was long and rambly. I'll stop now...
When I was in seminary I lived in Baltimore, Maryland (2 years).
Then I came back home.
My first two apartments were in my home town in a northwest suburb of Chicago. I was totally out and I had no problems. I did develop more friendships in the city, that's Chicago. So, I moved there and lived there for seven years. I loved Chicago and I thought I'd never leave. All of my family comes from Chicago and a majority of us live in the Chicago area. But the dotcom bust happened in Chicago as it was happening in the Bay Area and I didn't want to change careers. So I had to look into moving to places where others didn't want to live to find work in my field.
Then I moved to Davenport, Iowa because I got an offer I couldn't refuse. It was a much higher salary doing the same thing I had done in the dotcom world in Chicago (at one time called "The Silicon Prairie"). After 9/11/2001 everything changed and the market took yet another dive. In the beginning of 2002 my company had a loss and had to let go of we the contractors.
So, I decided to go back to school to become a therapist. Which is what I wanted to do since I was about 23 (I was 32 and living in Iowa when I finally made the decision. I found the perfect school for me and I moved to Oakland, California.
I, never in 1,000,000,000,000,000 years would have EVER thought that I would even consider moving to the San Francisco Bay Area, honestly. I am a Midwesterner at heart, even still. I still miss it. When I first moved here, I loved the school and that is what kept me here. I HATED this area. It was too expensive. The people were cold and superficial. The cultural depth is lacking here. And it's almost impossible to find anyone decent to date here. Sometimes it seems like anyone who might have anything together is out for sex only because there are so many choices here. And that leaves the crazy ones to date.
Thus, I'm single for the longest time I've ever been single in my life as an out gay man. I even had a lover in Iowa, and we still love each other and talk often. We miss each other very much. We never "officially" broke up. I had to leave because I had to go to school. He couldn't follow. He owned his own business and couldn't move it. He sold the business a while back, went back to New Orleans where he was originally from. He survived Katrina and now he resides in Green Bay, Wisconsin (because he got a sweet job offer there from someone who knew him and knew that he was on Louisiana with no prospects because of the Katrina devastation).
We would like to get back together. I have to finish my licensure (as a Marriage and Family Therapist) here in California because that will make it easier for me to get another license in another state if I choose to move to be back with him. He still doesn't want to leave the Midwest. He loves the Midwest and regrets having moved to New Orleans briefly. He has considered the possibility of moving here to California. But, it's ridiculously expensive to move here and neither one of us can afford to move him and I cannot support him here while he looks for work.
So, I stay here. I do have friends (finally) here who I dearly love. Two of my dearest friends are moving to St. Petersburg, Florida in June because they can actually afford to buy a house there, which is an impossibility here where real estate is priced beyond reality. So when they leave, I'm not so sure how long I'll last here.
I might try to convince my guy to move with me to Chicago where I know I could find work in my field because I still have connections there and my family is there. He likes Chicago and he could find work in his field there and he'd be happy because Chicago has winter (he loves winter).
Anyway, I have to say that being gay hasn't affected any of my decisions about where I live. I've never wanted to live in a "gay ghetto" with white guppies (gay yuppies). So I've never lived in Boystown in Chicago or Castro in San Francisco. I like living with everyone else, and I find acceptance no matter where I go. And yes, I find hate too. Then again, when I've visited Boystown and Castro are the times where I've experienced the most hate speech from straight people shouted at me randomly.
OK, this was long and rambly. I'll stop now...
I left my little town in Southern Illinois right after college. I lived in New York, Chicago, Palm Springs, back to Chicago and then to San Antonio. I then moved back to my hometown for a short while but then went to St. Croix then finally ended up back here in the Palm Springs area 17 years ago.
I can live anywhere and be happy with the right partner and the right friends.
I can live anywhere and be happy with the right partner and the right friends.
Yes, I grew up in the middle of Michigan and moved to Chicago the day I graduated from college, almost 22 years ago. I think that for a gay guy who craved urban life, Chicago was the natural choice. I actually tried Detroit, for school, for a while and hated it ( sorry Detroiters). I still love Chicago, I made the right choice!
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I did move......but I don't understand the point of the question.......I didn't move because i was gay......I moved because i wanted to......I'm sure plenty of straight men here also moved away from where they grew up.
Saying that about San Francisco may or may not be true, but it's certainly sad either way.
I feel like Michael Corleone. Every time I try to get out they pull me back in! Colorado, Boston, Ohio-- just kept coming back. I found myself comparing everything to New York and being disappointed. Where I live is still fairly rural though it's now an exurb of the city and the cost of living has soared. I'd like to move to the city though. I've been in its orbit for so long and it's such a great place if you can afford it, that I want to experience it on my own.
- Mem,
I saw something about this on another thread.
Many gay people, (I said gay men because I don't think we have too many Lesbians here) leave the place where they grew up because it is a small town or are not accepted there.
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