Gay men's view of straight men -- please share

[thk8plus4u]

Gay, straight... what's the difference?

Two drinks.

 

[earllogjam]

Sometimes I feel sorry for straight guys. As a gay male there is a certain degree of freedom that is afforded you living on the fringe of society.

Straight men have a certain life plan that is expected of them and it involves a wife, kid, family vacations...etc. Any deviation from that comes consequences like divorce, alimony, child support....etc. There seems to be an awful lot of expectations placed on straight guys in our society and not much support nor camarderie nor freedom to just be who you are. People call it midlife crisis but I see desperation in the eyes of weekend Harley riders and all boy trips to Thailand to snag hookers.

 

[NEWREBA]

Sometimes I feel sorry for straight guys. As a gay male there is a certain degree of freedom that is afforded you living on the fringe of society.

Straight men have a certain life plan that is expected of them and it involves a wife, kid, family vacations...etc. Any deviation from that comes consequences like divorce, alimony, child support....etc. There seems to be an awful lot of expectations placed on straight guys in our society and not much support nor camarderie nor freedom to just be who you are. People call it midlife crisis but I see desperation in the eyes of weekend Harley riders and all boy trips to Thailand to snag hookers.

Wow this seems very sad to me. Maybe it's true that straight guys have limited expectations but they can choose to do something else. I know guys who are artistic and they've really carved out their own niche. Most of them aren't married with kids though but they do have girlfriends.

 

[B_henry miller]

Wow. This is exactly what I've always thought, and it's one reason I've envied gay men.

Sometimes I feel sorry for straight guys. As a gay male there is a certain degree of freedom that is afforded you living on the fringe of society.

Straight men have a certain life plan that is expected of them and it involves a wife, kid, family vacations...etc. Any deviation from that comes consequences like divorce, alimony, child support....etc. There seems to be an awful lot of expectations placed on straight guys in our society and not much support nor camarderie nor freedom to just be who you are. People call it midlife crisis but I see desperation in the eyes of weekend Harley riders and all boy trips to Thailand to snag hookers.

 

[Primal_Savage]

.....You've felt that your orientations was forced on you? How? (Honestly curious, not trying to be an ass...)

Told the story in thread I started asking whether other bi's thought their switching was innate or triggered by something. Briefly, in a drunken stupor following a college swim team party my freshman year in college two seniors took advantage of me. Waking up the following morning in their apartment you could say that I gave an encore performance, only that time I was sober, tho hungover, but never the less willing. Tho, I'd had blowjobs from other guys prior to that time, I'd never sucked another guys dick. I'd never been curious or even entertained ideas concerning experimenting prior to that time. Had showered repeatedly with those two guys and the rest of the team for months prior to that night. The rest of my freshman year I was really in a blue funk, chose not to discuss it with anyone, excepting for the two of them, and tried to score with as many chicks on campus just to prove to myself that I wasn't gay.

njgt466 is right. I didn't choose to be the way I am.

 

[Supersized]

Bisexuals experience men and women as sexually equal. One theory Freud had was that when a child experiences both parents as equally abusive or non-abusive they turn out bisexual. I believe in nurture over nature but no child chooses the enviornment that he or she grows up in.

 

[Toogler]

i have a certain fear of straight men. i consider being gay(men sexually interested in other men[my crude definition]) abnormal. I feel inferior. I dont know how to read or approach them... i stick with my bestfriend who might be Bi, and my girlfriends.

EDIT: I dont get straight guys! they confuse the hell outta me. i dont get too emotionally close to them either... im in a small world.
-i did "fall in love" with a straight friend. that ended very poorly and we barely talk now.

 

[D_Rock_ N_Hardon]

I disagree with 99% of what Freud had to say about sexuality.

I'm bisexual cos I like cock and pussy, simple as. Although I've said before I feel 'straighter' the longer I go without sex/masturbation.

As for straight guys, it's hard to classify straight guys all in one group but I think most gay men have a fantasy about having some sexual contact with a straight guy.

 

[Micstar456]

As a straight guy, I would say that I have no probs with gay people. They do not threaten me or make me uncomfortable because I am a confident guy that is not easily swayed.

If you are you then that is all that matters. Do not feel emasculated by us. We do not intend to harm, just love.

 

[D_Rock_ N_Hardon]

Not all guys are as broad-minded as you Micstar456. But it would be great if they were...

 

[D_Sir Fitzwilly Wankheimer III]

Gay men have longer post,

tru dat!

 

[D_Sir Fitzwilly Wankheimer III]

Wow this seems very sad to me. Maybe it's true that straight guys have limited expectations but they can choose to do something else. I know guys who are artistic and they've really carved out their own niche. Most of them aren't married with kids though but they do have girlfriends.

I think your starting to generalize. I don't have kids not married just have a fish. We get along great! I love being able to do want I want go where I want whenerver I want to. I also like comming home just to chill out by me self. No shareing the TV, or just having someone in my face. Granted I'm doing my species a great dis-service by not having kids!

 

[ekybottom]

The vast majority of my friends are straight, guys that I work with or guys I know through the gym or guys that I grew up with. My boyfriend and I were discussing the other day that we had very few gay friends, probably a function of our lifestyle. We live and work in a rural area. we do the usual things such as yard work, home maintenance and improvements, shopping at the grocery and Wal-mart. Excitement for us is the occassional movie or dinner out. It's been a couple of years since we've been to a gay bar or been to a gay event such as pride.

We have more in common with most straight guys. Straight guys as friends are less into drama and are lower maintenance than gay guys.

 

[Micstar456]

Not all guys are as broad-minded as you Micstar456. But it would be great if they were...

Although I am eighteen, there was a time when guys would have me second guessing myself. Now that I am older and more mature about what I have, there is no way that a gay/bi/trans person can make me feel less confident or less hetero.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

 

[deleted213967]

I'd like to unravel 2 mysteries about straight guys:

Straight Dude Mystery #1: Why do so many (not all, of course) straight guys assume that because you are gay and they are males, you are automatically attracted to them? I never quite understood that. I am sexually attracted to less than 5% of sexually-active men, i.e. there is no way I could ever have sex with over 95% of men, straight or gay, yup, even drunk and on Viagra.

Are most straight guys sexually attracted to almost all females in their age group?

Straight Dude Mystery #2: From my dad to Tony Soprano, I gather that, in prison, it is socially graceful (so to speak) for a man to sodomize another and still be called "straight". Hmmm! Doesn't sodomy require an erection and, say, a quarter teaspoon of sexual attraction? I know I could French-kiss some girls, in prison or not, but if I were locked up with chicks only, even for 5 years, I still wouldn't be able to stay hard enough through an intercourse, let alone anal intercourse.

If I could, I would consider myself bi-sexual, not gay.

Any clue?

 

[B_henry miller]

About Straight Dude Mystery #1: I think that probably many straight men would not be sexually attracted to every woman they meet, but they would probably gladly have sex with almost every woman they meet; not all, but most (probably). So, they probably assume gay men are the same: willing to, desire to, have sex with every man they meet.

Also, this issue may ultimately have less to do with what the straight guy thinks of the guy gay, and more to do with what he thinks of himself. He's not so much focused on the idea that he may be attracted to the gay man, but the idea that the gay man may want to sodomize him and thus take away his status as a straight man.

About Straight Dude Mystery #2: I must've missed an episode. Did Tony Soprano have anal sex with a man? (The thought of him having any type of sex with anyone is really gross.) And did your dad have gay sex? I don't understand this question.

Thanks.

I'd like to unravel 2 mysteries about straight guys:

Straight Dude Mystery #1: Why do so many (not all, of course) straight guys assume that because you are gay and they are males, you are automatically attracted to them? I never quite understood that. I am sexually attracted to less than 5% of sexually-active men, i.e. there is no way I could ever have sex with over 95% of men, straight or gay, yup, even drunk and on Viagra.

Are most straight guys sexually attracted to almost all females in their age group?

Straight Dude Mystery #2: From my dad to Tony Soprano, I gather that, in prison, it is socially graceful (so to speak) for a man to sodomize another and still be called "straight". Hmmm! Doesn't sodomy require an erection and, say, a quarter teaspoon of sexual attraction? I know I could French-kiss some girls, in prison or not, but if I were locked up with chicks only, even for 5 years, I still wouldn't be able to stay hard enough through an intercourse, let alone anal intercourse.

If I could, I would consider myself bi-sexual, not gay.

Any clue?

 

[deleted213967]

Tony shares his views on "straight" men's sex in prison with Dr. Amalfi in one episode (final season if I recall)...

As my dad used to say, and then so many other straight men after him, straight men "have no other choice" in prison so when they engage in sex with other men, they are still 100% straight.

That line of "reasoning", even as a kid always baffled me.

 

[B_henry miller]

Thanks.

What exactly does Tony say about straight men having sex in prison?

As for me, I can't understand why one's own hand won't satisfy.

A cousin told me she asked her boyfriend about gay sex in prison. She said that all straight men she's known who have gone to prison will tell about other men who have done it, but say that they themselves never did.

I think that in prison sodomy/rape is also a form of domination and violence that, oddly, goes beyond sexuality; just like rape on the outside is about violence.

 

[rimmer9]

This is a mightily complicated area and not at all clear cut. The longer you explore sites such as this you realise the blurring of the edges. If you look at gaydar and a UK site for swingers it's full of a so called straight married guys who, after several years of marriage now want to experiment with a guy and even more surprising is that more than half want to be bottomed.

This may not be scientific but for me it reinforces my view that the ancient civilizations of Greece and Sparta were so right. Men loved and married women, having children etc but there always remained a seperate physical friendship between male friends that was accepted, encouraged and created a strong bond.

 

[deleted213967]

Funny!

That's exactly what Tony says to Dr. Amalfi in that episode...

Men in prison can be "forgiven" for having sex with one another since there are no females around...but he has to make it clear to her that HE Tony never did such a thing when incarcerated.

I am not sure I dig the violence-only argument either, although the act IS extremely violent. Again, sodomy requires a hard, long-lasting erection. Do the other inmates show straight porn HD-DVDs to the perpetrator so he can get it on?

Isn't fucking another man the gayest thing by definition?

I am being candid here, not trying to argue with you.