Gay open relationships

Countryguy63

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Posts
9,461
Media
36
Likes
7,795
Points
458
Location
near Monterey, Calif.
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
Cheating is anytime you fuck with someone else who is not me, and you are my boyfriend...at least for me! but i may sound narrow-minded in here...

And those are "your" rules, so if anyone with "you" was with someone else, that would indeed be cheating.

It's not narrow minded for you to want and require that. However, it is narrow minded to project that onto others that don't feel that same way within their own relationships :smile:
 

Maxime_

Sexy Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2009
Posts
269
Media
0
Likes
30
Points
103
Location
Europe
Sexuality
No Response
I am not trying to convince anyone that my rules should work for everyone cuz we live in free nations BUT, still i don't get how people can stand such types of relationships....i'd die knowing that my partner was out in someone else's arms and worse, with my consent...also i don't understand why he will have to be in someone else's arms if i can give him exactly what he needs...
 

hungmtl

Sexy Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Posts
78
Media
7
Likes
58
Points
153
Location
montreal
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
maxime, to your last comment... although i have sex with my bf most of the time (like 95% of the time) and I love it that way... i kinda get turned on both by the idea of me fucking someone else and also of him fucking someone else... if we're both okay with it, which is seem is he case, there's nothing wrong with that... don't you think?
 

Snozzle

Cherished Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 16, 2006
Posts
1,422
Media
6
Likes
318
Points
403
Location
South Pacific
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
There are lots of ways of doing this, and all of them work for some people, at least some of the time.

  • Strict monogamy works for some people
  • Emotional monogamy and sexual freedom works for some people
    • Telling the partner everything you did works for some people
    • Telling the partner nothing you did works for some people
    • Setting limits on what the partner may do with other people works for some people
    • Having sex with third (etc) parties only as a threesome (etc) works for some people
  • Polyamory works for some people
There isn't a lot of point telling someone else that their way of doing things is "wrong".

What tend not to work are

  • Agreeing to do one thing and doing something else
  • Saying you've done one thing after doing something else
  • Bringing home diseases
 

SweatsBulge

Sexy Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2006
Posts
281
Media
0
Likes
98
Points
248
Location
Nor. Cal.
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
It takes a couple to define what their relationship is and open relationships are a fact of adult life. I think open relationships are fine and more power to your for making your relationship work. However, communicating is the key. You both decide what is best for each other and just be completely to-the-point so there is never a misunderstanding. He may be feeling the same as you, one never knows.
 

SweatsBulge

Sexy Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2006
Posts
281
Media
0
Likes
98
Points
248
Location
Nor. Cal.
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I am not trying to convince anyone that my rules should work for everyone cuz we live in free nations BUT, still i don't get how people can stand such types of relationships....i'd die knowing that my partner was out in someone else's arms and worse, with my consent...also i don't understand why he will have to be in someone else's arms if i can give him exactly what he needs...
Such a relationship is just fine. However, a relationship is what two people agree on in terms of what is allowed and what is not. There are just too many kinds of consenting adult relationships that a single model for all to follow just leads all sorts of screw ups when such a model doesn't work for some people.
 

arthur

Sexy Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2006
Posts
600
Media
5
Likes
38
Points
163
Age
55
Location
London, UK
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Putting my twopence in here. Personally (and there in lies the rub), personally when dating a guy it's me and him. Would kill me if I knew he was being held by someone else. If I wanted to fuck around I'd be single? But that's me? Not expecting anyone else to follow these rules except my partner who I have discussed it with.
 

CuriousFem

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Posts
270
Media
2
Likes
43
Points
248
Location
Raleigh (North Carolina, United States)
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Female
Isn't "cheating" synonymous with "breaking rules"?

Yes it is, and, as it is often the case, Countryguy has illuminated the real issue in the conversation.

In English, there is a specialized definition when talking about relationships: having sex outside the relationship. It seems that most people know this.

However, the connotation of "cheating" in American English (at least) is that the sex occurs without the other partner's knowledge or consent. Non-native English speakers may not be aware of this.

So when you say "he cheated" to an American, the meaning is "he had sex with someone else without my consent." In other words, he deceived me, he broke our rules, etc.
 

ColoradoGuy

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 21, 2009
Posts
1,170
Media
35
Likes
1,467
Points
308
Location
Denver (Colorado, United States)
Verification
View
Gender
Male
There are lots of ways of doing this, and all of them work for some people, at least some of the time.

  • Strict monogamy works for some people
  • Emotional monogamy and sexual freedom works for some people
    • Telling the partner everything you did works for some people
    • Telling the partner nothing you did works for some people
    • Setting limits on what the partner may do with other people works for some people
    • Having sex with third (etc) parties only as a threesome (etc) works for some people
  • Polyamory works for some people
There isn't a lot of point telling someone else that their way of doing things is "wrong".

What tend not to work are

  • Agreeing to do one thing and doing something else
  • Saying you've done one thing after doing something else
  • Bringing home diseases

Bump. Probably the best -- and most succinct -- advice for open relationships, regardless of preferences, gender, and marital status. It all boils down to honesty and transparency.
 

D_Blakely Blojobbe

Just Browsing
Joined
Mar 20, 2011
Posts
38
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
41
Interesting thread guys!

My boyfriend and I are strictly monogamous and enjoy the sexual freedom we have with each other. When we started dating and getting more serious, we went through the whole testing process together. That helped to solidify our bond and demonstrate to each other that we respected ourselves & each other.

At the appropriate time, we made the collective decision to ditch the condoms and have been able to enjoy each other completely and fully, ever since.

We've discussed different types of relationships and though neither of us judge those in open relationships, we want to continue enjoying the sexual freedom provided to us through monogamy
 

209THOR

1st Like
Joined
Apr 24, 2009
Posts
38
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
93
Location
Californication
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Life sure is full of grey areas. I would much rather have a bf who (like me), if our relationship needed something we would fuck harder and look to each other to get off. A way out is just that. I can handle flirting, a kiss or a grope that will warm my lover up a little for me.. but the romance of forever stays hidden from my sight.
 

travis7

Legendary Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2012
Posts
465
Media
6
Likes
1,211
Points
213
Location
Texas
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Be honest with him. Let him know that while he is gone you may play and knows that he may play as well, But you love him every minute. And want to grow old with him.
I feel as long as you keep telling him how much you love him and how much he means to you, It can work..
Just be honest with each other.
 

silvian

Sexy Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2012
Posts
589
Media
3
Likes
82
Points
113
Location
naples
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I agree with people that are aginst the open relationship.
If you are bitch in your soul and you need so many dicks in your life it's a good idea to not mislead your partner.
Often people who make this kind of relationship are scared about aloneness.
we have to thank this kind of promoscuity if there are is still so much homophobia.
It doesn't mean that you have to live FOREVER with a man and his dick, but if you aren't fullfilled by your partner (in love and sex) it's a great idea to BREAK your relationship. Betray someone in a straight or gay relationship it's ALWAYS a treason, you may justify it but it will be always a treason.
If you can't handle you relationship because your partner live in an other part of the country or the world there is no solution than a breaking.
My ex GF has gone in London for studying english and because in Italy the economical and political situation is falling down. I could have with her an open relatioship, but the idea that another man or an other woman could fuck here made me crazy so i decided with a lot of PAIN to break up our relationship.
If you have you necessity to have sex regulary (and it is LEGIT) you mustn't have a partner that live or work in cambogia (for example) and you have to wait him every lack of time. If you see him for 2 days and that he return to work or have to travel for 2 month tell me if this is possibile. the first think you have to LIVE your love or it's much better to have not a relationship