Gay or Bi and hung Qs

[collegeguy711]

I've been reading some posts in this group and I've noticed that y'all cover alot of topics. I've had a few questions that may not have been raised before. I'm asking specifically to gay and bi guys, but anybody's comments would be welcome. I had a few questions....

One... is a question about the whole top and bottom thing. I feel most comfortable being bottom. Now I'm only average size, but I have the feeling that when I'm with guys who are smaller, that they want me to top, just because I happen to be the more endowed one. I'm wondering if any of you feel like size effects the whole top and bottom preference? And especially for those of you who are hung, if there are any of you that just wanna bottom, but feel pushed by the guys you're with to top just because of your size?

Two... I personally feel that size is bigger issue among gay relations then it is among straight. Gay culture seems more obsessed with size and the fantasy of hung guys. My question is, can a extremely well hung man get almost any man he wants? Not being hung myself, I'm curious.

Three.. I wonder if size can effect attitude towards other men. I've been with a few guys that were somewhat,(but not what I would call especially) well endowed, perhaps just a bit above average, who have treated myself or other guys, kind of like we were disposable. You see the same kind of attitude sometimes with really hot girls or buff guys. Has anybody else noticed this kind of thing?

 

[KinkGuy]

I haven't bottomed in years, but when I did, I encountered the same scenario. Guys love getting fucked with big dicks. Even well hung porn star bottoms moan about everyone wanting them to top. I always just used the "I am in the mood for a good fucking tonight and you're the one" and promised to "get them" next go round". Be direct and honest about being a nasty bottom with a big dick, they'll get in to it.

The large boys may be able to get anyone they want...once. But if they are a mental mess, mean or an ego maniac, they do no better than anyone else. In fact, lots of ego cases with big dicks get laid a lot less than guys who developed a personality!

I think big hung guys fall into two categories: 1) shy and slightly embarrassed about the big tool or 2) way over confident and self centered. Oh, wait, that's most of us guys in general. So, see, maybe it ain't that much different.

And do you know how hard it is to find an exceptionally talented bottom?????

 

[txquis]

Now I'm only average size, but I have the feeling that when I'm with guys who are smaller, that they want me to top, just because I happen to be the more endowed one. I'm wondering if any of you feel like size effects the whole top and bottom preference?

Good topic.
I posted a similar one on the old LPSG board at one time.

I have been in the position of being asked to top
for similar reasons.

But, since we are all unique,
it also applies in the bedroom.
The more hung guy can be the bottom,
and the less hung guy can be the top,
or both can be whatever they feel like.

Sure you will meet people who just wanted you so you could
top.
Make it clear before you hop
in the sack,that you arent a total top all the time,
or that you are a total bottom.
No shame in it.

I got really spoiled by the one relationship i had
where i got to be both top and bottom equally,
and learned to do and enjoy both.
WOW...if i could findTHAT again....

My advice is, if you feel like being the bottom,
go for it.
Dont be pressured into a role in bed,
regardless of your penis size.

 

[13788]

Auncut10in: Well since I am only a top, the first question doesnt really apply to me.

I can tell you that it is pretty easy to get just about any guy you want when you have a big dick. But like kinkguy, it is who you are that forms relationships. When you can get sex with just about anyone you want, i guess some guys can choose to be real jerks about how they treat people. Like you, I think that can occur with guys that have really hot bodies or really great looks or what ever the factor that gives them an edge. Personally, I don't think my dick is my very best attribute, so have never really used it as a toxic weapon to treat other guys badly.

 

[13788]

BiggerzBetter: I've been with many big-dicked men who have expressed a bit of regret over the size of their dicks just because it seems to instantly cast them in the "top" role. They seemed almost relieved when I would tell them we could do whatever was best for us both.

I think this may be why a certain number of gay men who are hung also keep their size to themselves -- if they enjoy being a catcher, they're less likely to be pegged as a pitcher when they don't show a bulge extending halfway to the knee!

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

I can answer things only from my perspective. These are my opinions and are not representative of the views of other big-schlonged gay men.

And especially for those of you who are hung, if there are any of you that just wanna bottom, but feel pushed by the guys you're with to top just because of your size?

I am a top simply because I want to be a top. I have never bottomed. I enjoy anal sex, but have never had the desire to be penetrated myself, and size has nothing to do with it. My ex was hung larger than I, and he is, for the most part, a bottom. He has topped other guys and enjoyed it, but he's more comfortable as a bottom. I don't think size has anything to do with one's preference to be inserter or insertee.

Two...
My question is, can a extremely well hung man get almost any man he wants?

It depends on the extremely well-hung man. Yeah, I've had sex with some men who were extremely well-hung, but that's not why I had sex with them. They have to have more going for them than just monster meat. Look at Jonah Falcon, for example: his cock is huge ... almost as big as he claims ... yet I can't imagine that he can get anyone he wants. Can many people put up with his attitude and whining just to get a crack at his tool? I guess a total size queen might, but I don't understand the psyche of extreme size queens.

Three.. I wonder if size can effect attitude towards other men. I've been with a few guys that were somewhat,(but not what I would call especially) well endowed, perhaps just a bit above average, who have treated myself or other guys, kind of like we were disposable.

That's not because they have big dicks; it's because they are big dicks. That's an important distinction. When these people come to the realisation that they're little more than walking dildoes, they'll find themselves in a very lonely place.

 

[Atlrabbit]

Good responses...What I don't understand why we even have to classify ourselves as top, bottom or whatever. I tend to go with the flow...usually if a guy is hung up on "stats" or cock size...or since "I'm that big I must be a top" or even "big guys tend to be want-a-be bottoms"...I usually walk a way. Of course, even sex with a moron is sex...Cock size has nothing to do with whether you are a top or a bottom.

The only time I really had a problem was when I dated this really nice guy (he had me fooled)...on our third or fourth date..we were at his apt. with a group of his friends...when after a few drinks the talk got a little raunchy...one of his friends told me they were all waiting for me to "flop it out" as they were all anxious to get a look and hopefully a "little more". What a downer.

In a way I guess you're right BiggerzBetter...when you said "I think this may be why a certain number of gay men who are hung also keep their size to themselves" If I am interested in someone I tend to keep the subject of size to a minimum..unless I wearing my speedos...or at a naked campground or I'm god awful horny!

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper@Jul 15 2004, 03:42 PM
That's not because they have big dicks; it's because they are big dicks. That's an important distinction. When these people come to the realisation that they're little more than walking dildoes, they'll find themselves in a very lonely place.

Yeah, even some (The key word is "some": Men are more likely to treat women like possessions than the other way around.) women treat men like we're disposable. I doubt it has much to do with dick size since a dick isn't even a requirement.

 

[13788]

getnbiggr: Hey all,

Some good stuff here. Like everyone else, I can only speak for myself, but I have to say that I've never really identified strongly as either a top or a bottom. While not exactly huge at 7.5X6+ uc, I've had various guys realize during flirting or foreplay that I'm hung bigger than avg and decide that they really want me to top them. And I've had others decide equally that I'm too thick for their liking and that they actively want me to NOT top them. *chuckle* So, I'd say that the whole "hung guys get whoever they want" thing is a bit farfetched.

Believing that what's good for the goose is also good for the gander, I'd tried bottoming a number of times but never really enjoyed it -- it was always more "ouch" than "ooh" for me... But that changed recently with a guy I was dating. Not quite sure what the difference was -- he didn't have a particularly small cock, that's for sure -- but I suddenly began to see how various guys could enjoy bottoming so much. So one's attitude towards topping or bottomign can also shift and change over time -- we're not locked into our sexual practices and preferences for all time, after all...

And as for sex with guys who are hung, I have -- on the occasions on which I've played with guys significantly bigger than myself -- found myself enjoying all sorts of things -- like how passionate he is, how hot his body is, how good a kisser he is, how good he is with his mouth, his hands, etc. Sex with a guy who has a massive cock but who can't kiss is still BAD sex. *chuckle* So I tend to think that "good in bed" is a better attribute/reputation to have than "hung like a horse..."

That being said, I'll be honest enough to admit that sometimes when I've been able to deepthroat a guy who rarely gets to do that because of his size, I can feel a playful sense of accomplishment or satisfaction. I mean, one of the best things about sex is making your partner feel good, and knowing that you're one of a few guys who can give your partner something special can provide some kind of satisfaction. But once again, that presumes that the guy is someone you WANT to make feel good -- so we're back at the idea of actually liking the guy you're in bed with.

Ok. 'Nuff said.

- J.

Anyways,

 

[Britannic]

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper@Jul 15 2004, 11:42 PM
Look at Jonah Falcon, for example: his cock is huge ... almost as big as he claims ... yet I can't imagine that he can get anyone he wants. Can many people put up with his attitude and whining just to get a crack at his tool?

DoubleMeat,

As someone who did date Jonah, years ago, and who does maintain a friendship with him and cares about him, I can tell you, there is more to him than his endowment. He's pretty smart, funny and witty. Unfortunately, you only get to see and experience those qualities when you're not in a place where his "centerpiece" is the centerpiece of conversation and attention. It's unfortunate that there is all this drama and negativity that surrounds him.

Cheers,
Britannic

 

[13788]

furrybud:

Originally posted by KinkGuy@Jul 14 2004, 09:58 PM
And do you know how hard it is to find an exceptionally talented bottom?????

Just as hard for you to find a talented btm as it is for us btms to find a sincere, well hung top.

I joined with the hopes of making new friends and maybe meeting a hung top. Sex is critical to a relationship... I need a hung top, and you need talented bottoms. Beyond the sex there's so much more to share, though.