Gay or not......I need advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by jj8inch, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. jj8inch

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    I have always considered myself bi at the most but I have gay friend that is already taken. However I feel myself becoming more and more infatuated with him (checking facebook, AIM, myspace all the time). I now feel as if I am gay but dont see myself being with anyone besides him.

    Should I just tell him how I feel and see if he can find me someone. I am just going through the typical am I ain't I dilema.
     
  2. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Why choose buddy? Good way to put it.
     
  3. D_Brighton Early

    D_Brighton Early New Member

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    Well, just because you like someone whose gay doesn't mean you have to be gay; you said it yourself you are "bi," and even though you're infatuated with him, unless you feel that you can only see yourself with men, not just him; then you would be considered gay.

    I myself being bi, don't like to put a label on things. Just follow your heart, dude....or your cock, haha whatever you prefer
     
  4. myHugeDong

    myHugeDong New Member

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    look to see if you would be able to be with another person male/female then you are not gay you just have a big crush.... over time mine have allways past.... kinda
     
    #4 myHugeDong, Jul 27, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2009
  5. cjj2k

    cjj2k Member

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    I've been there dude. Im bi, and I fell in love with my best friend. He was my drinking buddy, and I finally got the courage to tell him one night when we were drinking. We made out and had some foreplay. But he's th "straight dude" ... So if he was drunk, it never happened type thing. I never had the balls to bring it up sober. We did this several times while drinking, but he would always end up passing out. Now we're still friends, but hardly ever get to hang out. Ive dated two girls (one I was engaged to, but it fell thru) and one guy. But Id still drop everything if I could be with him.

    So to answer ur ? If u can still find females attractive, ur not. If u do, but just wanna be with him instead, ur still bi, just lovestruck!
     
  6. Countryguy63

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    Well first, I don't think the question is whether you're gay or not, just because you are crushing on him.
    Bi simply means you can be with either /or men or women.
    I can be with men and/or women, but have found that I can only really fall in love with women. Does that make me straight? No

    Now, I'm not saying that you're not. I'm just saying it doesn't mean that.
     
  7. sixlittleboi

    sixlittleboi Member

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    It's something you really have to consider. For two main reasons. One your friend is already taken, and two is a gay relationship something you want. The latter is, believe it or not imho, the easier of the two. Basically you have to consider if you are sexually attracted to him. If you have always considered yourself bi then it is a very real possibility. I might be off base but, I think you have already decided that and have questioned more the fact that he is taken. With that problem I have some experience. If your friend is in a relationship then my suggestion is to keep your feelings to yourself. I made the mistake of telling a friend, a friend in a realtionship albeit unhappy, how i felt about my feelings for him. He shot me down which was not really surprising. I should have never put him in that position. For one I know that I like him he's a great guy. I know he's has a boyfriend and it made things awkward. I didn't know what I expected him to say, but he did say no. I know there were only selfish reasons for telling him how I felt and no one was better for me having said it. I regret saying it but it's something we have both gotten past and "forgot" about. My suggestion to you is that you really consider if telling him how you feel is for your benefit AND his. Far to often people are quick to tell people what the feel they have to get off their chest, and really it's because they themselves want to. It only puts the other person in an awkward place. They do it with no regard for how it would actually end up affecting the other person. So, really think about it, if you really care about him don't do it. Just my long winded preachy opinion.
     
  8. ryanart

    ryanart Member

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    I have to agree with countryguy63 , but also, it does bring up a question for me that is, do straight men often have crushes on other straight men? how often does this happen, and what do they do about it/?
     
  9. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    A bi man can fall in love with/like a man or woman. If you think you should tell, do it then. :smile:
     
  10. helgaleena

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    The strange part is where you say 'tell him how I feel and see if he can find me someone'-- if you are in love with HIM then how can you even think of having someone other? And if you want someone other, why should this guy choose for you? It doesn't make sense to my brain.

    You must have conviction in your own choices, not have somebody else choose for you.
     
  11. sexplease

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    Do you know why it's called a crush? Because it hurts.

    No one knows where Cupids arrow will strike... or where it won't.

    One of the great lessons in life, is that we learn to go on, with clarity of mind and spirit, knowing our dignity is intact as we treat our friends and loves with the respect they earn.

    Sometimes we feel strong and loving emotions for others and it is not the same for them. Sometimes - others love us and we don't feel the same. That's what unrequited love is.
    It is a great thing to experience in life, for through it, we learn to love truly and care truly for others without regard to our [ego] self.

    Have a read of The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
    The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
    on Love and on Friendship. heck, read it all

    Michael★
     
  12. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Good points I hadn't thought of.
     
  13. rob_

    rob_ Active Member

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    I think he wanted to tell this guy how he feels and see if he can find him someone because this guy is already in a relationship. He just wants to date a guy to see if he is 'gay', even though he is probably still bisexual like many of you have already said.

    I think you shoudl definitely tell this guy that you are becoming more attracted to men, but don't risk your friendship by admitting your feelings about him if he is in a relationship.
     
  14. Kayden96

    Kayden96 New Member

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    The word of the day is infatuation.
     
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