Gay Relationship Advice

[dcwrestlefan]

A guy I dated many years ago has recently been back in touch with me, and is hitting on me hard. He lives 70 miles away now after having lived in California for awhile. He is 12 years younger than me. For dating purposes, it is a little out of my normal range now. I like guys upper 30s plus.

He is successful, intelligent, cute, big there, likes me, and sweet. But he has developed some weird fetishes over the years that I am totally not into. Really makes me shake my head. Nothing overly funky, just strange and a turnoff.

Wondering where to go with this. Get over it? I was not looking for a relationship at this point, but he is really pressuring me, and I don't want to throw it away if it might be good.

This is the most open minded board I know, so thought a person or two could provide an opinion.

 

[rimmer9]

Hi, the distance between you may help you to take things slowly with him. Tell him your not ready for a relationship yet but would like to see him and see how things develop. His reaction should tell you all you want to know.
Hopefully he'll be cool with this and who knows what might blossom.
The fetishes could be a problem unless you can find a compromise.

 

[DC_DEEP]

A guy I dated many years ago has recently been back in touch with me, and is hitting on me hard. (1) He lives 70 miles away now after having lived in California for awhile. (2) He is 12 years younger than me. For dating purposes, it is a little out of my normal range now. I like guys upper 30s plus.

{1} He is successful, intelligent, cute, big there, likes me, and sweet. (3) But he has developed some weird fetishes over the years that I am totally not into. Really makes me shake my head. Nothing overly funky, just strange and a turnoff.

Wondering where to go with this. Get over it? (4) I was not looking for a relationship at this point, (5) but he is really pressuring me, and {2} I don't want to throw it away if it might be good.

This is the most open minded board I know, so thought a person or two could provide an opinion.

I'm not going to give advice, really, one way or the other, I just want to point out that in your own post, you gave us "two for the 'pro' column, five for the 'con' column"... and half of the "pros" was conditional.

I'm thinking that you already know what would be best for you. You have to weigh the benefits against the liabilities of a relationship with him, and go from there. Best of luck to you!

 

[chavous]

The Best Relationships Occur When We Are Not Looking For One. So Just Lie Back And Relax. Don't Take It Too Serious!

 

[hung]

You have received excellent advice here. I would urge you to take the time to enjoy life. Most of the time when things are rushed, things go wrong. Take it easy and let the natural flow of events allow you to reflect, think and then proceed with your life.

I wish you well!!

 

[EagleCowboy]

After reading the post, it seems to me that you've done made the choice.

 

[dcwrestlefan]

Will be a little bit more specific about the fetishes.

He has a foot/sock/shoe fetish. Ok. Guess I can live with that. Asks me to send him pics of my sneakers and things like that.

He also gets off in an erotic way on trucks that are hard to start. Have never in my life heard of that and it weirds me out.

Whenever we talk, he asks about my feet and if I had problems starting up my Jeep today. He is really into it. "Did you have to press on the gas pedal hard to get it going?"

To each their own, but I dunno. It's very strange. He is fine in every other way.

Thanks for the posts.

 

[wispandex_bulge]

well this whole thread beat my post to the poll...and yet i hope to have a slightly different flavor to mine...

 

[LouisVauban]

If you love something, set it free....

If it comes back to you... in a different package or a slightly distorted form than before.....

SET IT FREE AGAIN!

 

[fratpack]

The distance thing is a bit of a saver. A sock fetish, doesn't seem so out of the norm but the gas pedal thing...that is, well, not to my liking.
Look, I have learned in my life, if you are not happy or comfortable with a situation you have just as much right as any one to be who you and not let anyone force you into doing something you don't want to do.
Heck, be friends with him but you will just have to be clear about there is line that will not be crossed.