gay relationship cock size

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_mfcx, Jan 22, 2009.

  1. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    I am a gay male, who enjoys monogamous relationships, and have just gotten out of a rather strange partnership. After 5 years of still not understanding him or his situation, I decided to move on....

    The problem is, and this sounds completely terrible, I'm sure, is that I really miss his large penis touching me when we are sleeping together or fooling around for that matter.

    Now, after a few months, I have started to date this man, and he is wonderful. I mean wonderful!

    We have gotten to that point where we have started fooling around, and I am just not into it like he is. His penis is not the same as my ex'es and I feel that my problem with this will ruin a really nice relationship.

    Does anyone have any advice on this??? What should I do? Should I move on, since it seems I am attracted to guys with larger penises? Or Should I try to make it work??? Is there any help/ treatment to get this attraction out of my brain?
    Thanks for reading.
    Cheers!
     
  2. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    Can someone please give me some advice. I seriously am getting further depressed over this. Anyone have a similar problem/ paradox? I would love to hear how it was handled.
    No pun intended.

    Troy
     
  3. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Well, let's start at the beginning, flax.

    If you feel that the penis size is important to you, and this new partner isn't doing it for you...then yah, you need to move on.

    However, don't move on because you are comparing this guy to the last guy you had sex with. Yes, big dicks can be fun, but a relationship is about way more than just the size of a mans cock. Especially when you say that it's a really nice relationship.

    Personally, I wouldn't toss him out the door.
     
  4. Bawsac

    Bawsac Member

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    Hi Flax, I don't have any real answer for you but here's what I think. I've been in relationships with guys who were well hung and loved being naked with them even if we weren't having sex. Usually the guys were great but either they moved on from me or I realised I loved being with them but that the relationship was finished. I think you answered your own question when you said you moved on, something wasn't right. It's natural to miss the intimacy and his big dick but maybe his personality was 'lacking'. I would enjoy being with your new man if he makes you happy but it sounds to me as if he isn't the one for you either and you have 'settled' for a nice guy. Just be happy and be honest with yourself and those around you and see where things go. Good luck:smile:
     
  5. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    Wow, Thank you both for the wonderful insights. However, I am still up in the air about what I should do. Right now, I'm honestly trying to think of a way to make it work with my ex, since we did have a consistent routine together. I just don't know...
     
  6. ths1973

    ths1973 New Member

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    Keep this in mind...unless you are an avid nudist, and have a lot of time on your hands...both you and your new bf presumably spend most of the day dressed, and not naked... and if that time is really good... I'd try to get used to his appendage, and not make comparisons... seems a little unfair to him... kind of like not petting your new pet, because you miss something about the one that's no longer with you... just my thoughts...
     
  7. DaveyDoes

    DaveyDoes New Member

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    I've known my partner for a long time but, only been "together" for about 4 years. That first night we lay down together and saw one another naked...if I had pulled off his shorts and found nothing (like a Ken doll), I would still be with him and still love him. Sex is great...we have a wonderful love life...but it's not the foundation
    of our relationship having more to do with what's between his ears and in his spirit than what's between his legs or mine.
    I'm not being mean but, I think you need to re-evaluate your priorities in life. Dicks are a dime a dozen (even big ones)...nice guys are VERY rare. Don't blow something potentially great over a few inches.
     
  8. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    Perhaps I do need a little time to get used to it. Perhaps also I'm not happy with my small dick too...
     
  9. SilverSoldier

    SilverSoldier New Member

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    Flax, if you spent five years with your ex and it didn't work, chances are that it won't work if you go back. The incompatabilities are just too much. He should not change for you, he should change for himself, so he can become all he needs and wants to be. Same with you. The fact that you bring your lives together means that you are willing to have GREAT tolerance and patience to keep going. Sometimes couples counseling is a good thing. But it just depends, everyone is different.

    If your new guy is truly as wonderful as you say, but you're not into him because you're comparing him to your ex, YOU'RE REBOUNDING, not in love. Rebounds almost always fail until you can get past the pain of the ex, be "clean" in your feelings, and see him for who HE is. (Without your ex'es influence.)

    So you have a little thinking to do. If you want to go back to your ex, and this is as good as it gets, is that good enough for you? That's the bottom line, amigo.

    Same with the new guy. If this is as good as it gets with him, is that enough for you?

    And, in the end, are you enough for yourself?

    In order to find the love you dream of, you have to become the love you seek.

    Hope this helps.
     
  10. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    Perhaps you are right... About how long do you think it will take for me to get over him?
    Is there a basic formula I am unaware of? Help!!!!
     
  11. Renegade

    Renegade New Member

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    Flax, I personally don't think you should go back to your ex. Yes you miss him and his big cock...but I also don't think you should settle with this new great guy that you're just not into. There are a lot of other guys out there. Hung ones that aren't your ex.

    I only say this cause I'm in your same situation. Guys you desire to be in a relationship with are hard to find... but going back to your ex isn't going to get you any further ahead. You're still going to be in a rather strange partnership with a guy who's situation you don't understand.

    So keep looking for a guy who can satisfy you the ways you need. And good luck. I'm still single. Not that I'm unhappy. I love me, and I'm not going to comprise my needs for anyone.

    Just a thought
     
  12. SilverSoldier

    SilverSoldier New Member

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    I wish there was a formula, but alack and alas, I don't think there is one.

    I'm just coming out of a relationship that just about destroyed me. I'm back in counseling. But I do know that I have to be enough for me before I can be enough for anyone else.

    You are exactly who you need to be. As to whether or not you're happy about who you are is the question. If you feel a need to make a few changes, then you make them for you. That's what makes you attractive to others--they see your wonderful qualities.

    The thing about your new guy is that you just have to be careful about rebounding. I find that when I can just be still (when I'm not sure, or now, between relationships) someone shows up when I least expect it, and it's usually pretty amazing. But the key is to be at peace with me. Then I'm open for the person arriving in my life.

    You'll be okay. Just be good to yourself and those around you, and good things will stay in motion.

    :wink:
     
  13. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    Wonderful advice from Silver Soldier! Thank you!!!
     
  14. rbkwp

    Gold Member

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    Does anyone have any advice on this??? What should I do? Should I move on, since it seems I am attracted to guys with larger penises? Or Should I try to make it work???

    Can only suggest TRY HARD' for the new fella flax
    Just have to really try Doubly Hard to forget about yr X,s size etc .. and try and look at all the Positives the new guy has..irrespective of his Penis
    Thats my suggestion to you
    BEST of Luck flax
    enz
    (another thought MAY be fr you to consider talking to yr new partner about yr fears
    ie re yr former partners larger penis..know it would be very difficult .. but thinking its best to get that part of a future possible relationship.. outa the way..fr both yr sakes.')
    -if he is not keen re yr comparing him as per Penis size..then its possibly a good indication that yr relationship will not work with him anyway
     
  15. Rocky14441

    Verified Gold Member

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    90% of what we don't like in other people is a projection of what we don't like in ourselves, if we are willing to own up to it. Could this be about your own cock? If you concentrate on what it does for you (god's gift to guys, our own little playground!) instead of what it isn't, then chances are you will be cool with your partner's as well.

    The happiest I have been in bed wasn't with a big cock, it was with a man who i loved to be passionate with, two guys who knew how to makke each-other happy.

    See what you can do with those cocks of yours, concentrate on the pleasure you can give and recieve. Ultimately, you spend far more time connecting heart to heart and mind to mind than you do cock to cock.
     
  16. MisterMark

    Gold Member

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    flax, what is the significance of a large penis to you? Aside from enjoying the feel of them, it sounds like you're giving large penises (or the men who own them) some sort of special powers or attributes.

    If having a partner with a large penis is really important to you, then I think it's fine, but ask yourself what a big penis really contributes to a long-term relationship. (and tell us what you're thinking, if you're comfortable doing that)
     
  17. griffin

    griffin New Member

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    Everyone is different but "time will do its promised thing"
     
  18. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    It was more of the fact that I was attracted to his natural scent and also he really was into my penis, which trying to find someone like that again seems hard for me.
     
  19. MisterMark

    Gold Member

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    So then his big dick really wasn't that important to you? :confused:
     
  20. D_mfcx

    D_mfcx New Member

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    It was definitely a nice bonus~
     
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