Gay relationship where both are bottoms

dreambridger

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Are there any bottoms here that have been in long term relationships with other bottoms?

I have been in such a relationship for almost three years now. When we began I wasn't as aware of myself sexually, I thought I was a vers that desired a relationship of equality in the bedroom. I was able to talk him into topping me sometimes, but he doesn't really enjoy it, and a big part of the thrill of bottoming for me is the top's pleasure of having me. He likes making me happy, but that is the extent of his pleasure when he tops me. I'm beginning to feel like I must be the same way when I top him, and recently had an experience of being totally dominated with someone else and realized it's the most sexually satisfied I've felt in my life, and that I truly must be a submissive bottom.

We're sexually open. He's much more attractive than me so he tends to hook up all the time, though I really can't hook up for the life of me. The only men I've been with since being with him are other men he's all ready been with and that he introduces me to. Needless to say he's sexually satisfied with his life since he gets so many men, but I'm mostly alone without him and not feeling sexually satisfied and he has a tendency to still treat me like a top when I'm with him. he acts like there's an assumption that I'm the more likely top, though I don't agree.

I love him very much and I know that he loves me. It would be traumatic at this point to both of us if we chose to separate, and honesly I am considering marrying him, but I also really don't want to wind up in a situation where we're married and a resentment bubbles up in me over having such a big part of who I am be ignored, neglected, unseen and even unbelieved. I've all ready felt tastes of that resentment occasionally but I do my best to breathe past it because I would never want to take that out on him, he's been such a beautiful supportive soul in my life and he doesn't deserve that resentment.

Do you think its possible that this relationship could work? I'm especially curious to hear your story if you're a bottom who has married another bottom and have been with them for quite a long time without regret.
 
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stustu

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I might suggest you have a long chat about your situation. You might want to say honest and
truthful things to each other. You can never be called a cheat or liar when you're truthful.
It might be interesting to take a month or two and be best friends / not lovers / and explore your
desires and taste with other. Than come back together to share your experience and decide
if you are best friends or lovers.
 

auncut10in

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We aren't both bottoms, but we are both tops, so a very similar situation We also have had an open relationship from the very beginning. We have been together for 10 wonderful years. He is the love of my life. In our relationship, I am the one that gets a lot of sex. My partner not as much. Not because he is not attractive and very sexy, mostly it is because I seem to always be horny and with my big dick, sex just seems to come to me pretty easily.

We don't really have sex between us because of the situation. He says my dick is way too big for him, but I have been with guys that are smaller than him and they seem to make it work. They just want it more than he does. But we seem to have worked things out. Sometimes we play with other guys. A bottom will come over and we both take turns working him over. I love watching my partner fuck the guy and then taking my turn. It actually helps because the guy can take my dick much easier. What we have found that works for us are to have my partner arrange for who is coming over. It just works better. In the beginning, I would invite guys over but sometimes they were only interested in my big dick and he felt like a third wheel. So now, by him arranging things, the guy coming over is into him and is more than happy to include me in the fun.

So have you thought about sharing a top? It certainly works for us sharing a bottom. And if you are the one that arranges it, then I think the guy will be into both of you. Just something to think about. Wish you were closer, If you guys were our neighbors, everyone's problems would be solved.
 

uncutwonder v2.0

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I’m in the same situation as you. Usually when we play it stays with oral and that’s enough to satisfy us most of the time. We’re friends with another couple that are both tops (one more vers) and ocasisonally have fun with them. There is something about seeing my partner getting satisfied by someone else that’s almost satisfying in itself. I may not be the one pleasuring him in that moment but I’m giving him that ability.

Communication is absolutely key though- you both need to be comfortable with what sex means to you in your relationship.
 
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I think you'd honestly regret it... I am in a similar-ish situation and there's still resentment on both sides. See if you cake take a break?
 
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BarefootGuy

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thanks for the honest and thoughtful responses guys. I've gotten something out of each of you that posted.

I read your post and the comments. If you truly love each other, then have the conversation. It may mean bringing a third into the equation at times as suggested. It may mean that sex between the two of you might require more toys. But don't let love pass by if there is a way to work out a mutually satisfying solution that you know can work for you both. Wishing you both all of the best!
 
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ShipOfFools

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I have tried this... Several times. Each time I ended up being the top in the relationship (in bed at least, and probably because of my height and general masculinity) and did I like it? Kinda. But I never loved it. It was like playing a role, over and over again. I have trouble maintaining my erection so that coupled with me not being a natural top has given me headaches many a time.

I know my issue is psychological because as a youngster I was fucking a boy who was literally the hottest ever and an absolute total dream. Yet I still had issues with my erection.

I am bottom. Own what you are yet continue experimenting.
 

Auggiecakes

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Are there any bottoms here that have been in long term relationships with other bottoms?

I have been in such a relationship for almost three years now. When we began I wasn't as aware of myself sexually, I thought I was a vers that desired a relationship of equality in the bedroom. I was able to talk him into topping me sometimes, but he doesn't really enjoy it, and a big part of the thrill of bottoming for me is the top's pleasure of having me. He likes making me happy, but that is the extent of his pleasure when he tops me. I'm beginning to feel like I must be the same way when I top him, and recently had an experience of being totally dominated with someone else and realized it's the most sexually satisfied I've felt in my life, and that I truly must be a submissive bottom.

We're sexually open. He's much more attractive than me so he tends to hook up all the time, though I really can't hook up for the life of me. The only men I've been with since being with him are other men he's all ready been with and that he introduces me to. Needless to say he's sexually satisfied with his life since he gets so many men, but I'm mostly alone without him and not feeling sexually satisfied and he has a tendency to still treat me like a top when I'm with him. he acts like there's an assumption that I'm the more likely top, though I don't agree.

I love him very much and I know that he loves me. It would be traumatic at this point to both of us if we chose to separate, and honesly I am considering marrying him, but I also really don't want to wind up in a situation where we're married and a resentment bubbles up in me over having such a big part of who I am be ignored, neglected, unseen and even unbelieved. I've all ready felt tastes of that resentment occasionally but I do my best to breathe past it because I would never want to take that out on him, he's been such a beautiful supportive soul in my life and he doesn't deserve that resentment.

Do you think its possible that this relationship could work? I'm especially curious to hear your story if you're a bottom who has married another bottom and have been with them for quite a long time without regret.

Gay relationship with two bottoms? You mean like a friendship?
 

ohiorod

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As I read the OP, my initial reaction was that he deserved to feel more content in a relationship than what he feels. When I came to the part of getting married, my guy wanted to scream don’t do that! But that would be how I’d feel for me. While I see potential problems to come if there isn’t a better balance in the relationship, I also understand the fear of loss and trauma. But, I would not cement the relationship legally.
 
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ItsAll4Kim

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Any relationship can work. But you aren't addressing your issue in a way that's conducive to success. Because you don't seem to be addressing it. Assuming you continue the open relationship after possibly marrying, what will change? More importantly, what can change? If you become monogamous after marriage, do you foresee him happily accepting a role as a dominant top? If he does this for your happiness, can you accept the fact that he's doing this for you, and not be overcome with negative emotions because its not his nature?

There's no reason you can't both role-play the Dom part for each other. This is no different than engaging in any form of role play...become an actor, embrace the part, use your love for him to fuel the energy needed to be the part. Have fun with it. If you both can do this, problem might be solved. Thoughts?
 
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We aren't both bottoms, but we are both tops, so a very similar situation We also have had an open relationship from the very beginning. We have been together for 10 wonderful years. He is the love of my life. In our relationship, I am the one that gets a lot of sex. My partner not as much. Not because he is not attractive and very sexy, mostly it is because I seem to always be horny and with my big dick, sex just seems to come to me pretty easily.

We don't really have sex between us because of the situation. He says my dick is way too big for him, but I have been with guys that are smaller than him and they seem to make it work. They just want it more than he does. But we seem to have worked things out. Sometimes we play with other guys. A bottom will come over and we both take turns working him over. I love watching my partner fuck the guy and then taking my turn. It actually helps because the guy can take my dick much easier. What we have found that works for us are to have my partner arrange for who is coming over. It just works better. In the beginning, I would invite guys over but sometimes they were only interested in my big dick and he felt like a third wheel. So now, by him arranging things, the guy coming over is into him and is more than happy to include me in the fun.

So have you thought about sharing a top? It certainly works for us sharing a bottom. And if you are the one that arranges it, then I think the guy will be into both of you. Just something to think about. Wish you were closer, If you guys were our neighbors, everyone's problems would be solved.
Hot. I’d love it
 
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